Depression over house move

[Fardo]

Myself and partner have just sold 18th cent stone cottage with stunning view. Our first house together but has its probs, lack of parking, access etc so was always a stepping stone. Taken us 2 years to find a buyer and the house we are buying is completely diff, Edwardian red brick bit of a box ticker but not dream home. Partner loves it and says we can always move again in a couple of years but I’m now experiencing extreme sellers and buyers remorse and don’t want to leave our current home despite the problems. I’m at the point now of counselling, gp visits, anti depressants etc. Anybody else had similar and come out the other side?

You say yourself you know the current house isn't right. But you are not sold on the new place - you need to be honest with your partner if it's not the house for you. I suspect that if you loved the new house you wouldn't feel like you do.

We’ve had the conversation already. She has a majority share in the property so is kind of using that against me. The thing is new house is great for its type. Nicely decorated, big garden, village lane, surrounded by meadows etc and her argument is it’s taken so long to find a buyer that we shouldn’t look gift horse in the mouth and treat new house as an investment and move on again in a couple of years to a house we both like as this new one will be easier to sell. I’m trying to look at it as an investment and a house not a home. Until we got a buyer I was the one driving this now I’m thoroughly deflated......

My goodness, if the thought of moving to the new house has done that to you I cannot see how this is going to work out. Do you have a history of MHP?

Are you sure this isn't about something else? I'm not trying to ask anything deep, but your reaction to change seems quite extreme and I wonder if something else is really causing your depression.
That said, I spent five years trying to work out why I was rather miserable in my first flat, convinced it must be me and not the flat. After I moved to my second flat, I realised it was the first flat. I didn't like it - not a very nice flat, not a very nice location. But it was a necessary transitional stage to get to where I am now.
I think some people are more sensitive than others to where they live. It's definitely important to me. But it's also important to recognise that sometimes you need to accept a compromise as a transition.
Sorry, that's all a bit jumbled as posts go. Jet lagged from California.

I'm afraid your relationship is the cause of your mental health issues - really not on and abusive of your partner to be using her greater financial input as a way of railroading you into something you don't want.

Something is wrong here. Either the move really isn't right or your partner is controlling. I have never moved when things haven't felt right it would be madness to do so. I have always felt excited by the move, been impatient to leave the old place and get into the new one.

To be how you are mean something needs sorting out, nothing is worth making yourself ill over and you need to do some serious talking to your partner.