Doesn't feel like home

[SmileAndNod]

We moved in 9 weeks ago. I still don't feel settled at all and I can't quite work out why. This is our third house this year, and it is ours.

Yet. I still feel like we're in someone else's house. I'm scared to put up pictures in case I get it wrong. I'm scared to fix a towel rail in case I get the position wrong and make a mess of the walls. We still don't have blinds / curtains because I'm worried they will won't look right. I still dread the post coming in case it says we need to leave or someone is coming round to inspect again.

We are having to do things bit by bit as we've had the expense of two house moves and so don't have loads of spare cash.

It doesn't feel like home at all. It's all so white and boxy (new build so can't paint yet). The furniture we had doesn't fit in the new house, so still partly living out of boxes as no storage space in bedroom for clothes (need a chest of drawers no more than 55cm wide).

What is my issue and why can't I settle?
And any tips for placing pictures , loo roll holders etc pictures etc?

Sorry your not enjoying your new home. It does take a time to settle in after the stress of the buying process.
I’d suggest taking some photos of the rooms, printing them out and using them to place pictures and fittings on. Then you can see if they look right.
In general lining up towel rails, toilet holders etc with other edges works visually. For example make sure the toilet holder is on the same eyeliner as the top of the cistern. Or that the towel rail is placed equidistant from the edges of the wall.
Hanging pictures can depend on the size and type of pictures. Small pictures of a similar subject often look good if they’re grouped. Very large pictures can be stunning on their own, as a statement. Another person to hold them up while you’re deciding is helpful.
These might not be right for your rooms, hence the photos so that you can play with the images.

Last time I moved, it took 3 months until it felt like home. However, I put some of my pictures up the first week. I bought a few house plants and some plants to go in pots outside, that helped me. I have one room that is the correct colour /decor so far. I live in an old house that needs modernising, so the opposite to your situation. So all the renovations will take time.

I wonder if at least part of this is to do with the stress of moving, especially if you've found your furniture doesn't fit and you're still living out of boxes. Can you sell the things you can't use and use the cash to buy new, even if it's from a second hand furniture place? When we moved I had a bit of success selling on eBay for cash on collection - 10 day auctions ending on Sunday afternoons worked for us and I only ever put things on starting at 99p. Only one thing went for something like £1.50. Everything else went for more so it didn't feel like a waste of time or giving things away.

It may well be. Three houses in three months was incredibly stressful, especially when you add in the way we were treated by letting agents. If nothing else I'm grateful that we no longer have to deal with them.

We did sell some furniture ebay for 20 quid here and there.

I just feel sad and in a pickle and scared. I've looked on pinterest for ideas but the houses are so huge it's hard to compare.

I like Home style magazine for normal size houses and budgets. Also apartment therapy online can be good (new York apartments specially can be quite small).
I think it's tricky when your walls are all nice! I've not put up any pictures yet here, having Re plastered, but the previous place we were really gung ho, the walls were full of dings and filler already.
You could try command strips for a few bits to get you started.
Also learn to fill a hole. It's easy peasy! And then go mad with a drill while cackling manically about f*ing letting agents!

You need to be really specific on Pinterest to find the inspiration that you’re looking for. Have you tried Instagram? There are lots of people posting about their renovations and are quite relatable. I like Style@Home magazine for their affordable ideas, although I subscribe to Readly so I can read every interior and garden magazine going.

I’ve been there OP, and am still there - we’re renovating and I’m afraid to make any big decisions.

I would suggest getting a bit zen about the whole thing and not thinking about if for a while. You’re so used to being in rented and not being able to make a place your own that you’re overwhelmed. I know what it’s like - this is the first house we’ve owned too.

Just take some deep breaths and get used to your surroundings. You’re here for a while so there’s no rush, and it will all evolve as you get used to it.

Your first decorating decisions don’t need to be final ones. We rushed the painting in our previous place and changed it all because we didn’t like the colours in the end.

Create some Pinterest boards for the different rooms and pin absolutely every image you like at first. Then go through and look for patterns - do you always pin rooms with blue sofas? Pink curtains? You’ll find your style and taste by a process of elimination. Then start to edit your boards and focus it down a bit.

Only then get some paint and fabric samples.

Take your time and try to enjoy it and indulge in it a bit.

Lay out pictures on the floor and try different arrangements before putting them up. If you don’t like your arrangement, a bit of filler will sort it.

You’ve got a roof over your head and it’s all yours. Have fun, take it slow and be philosophical if you change your mind about a decorating decision. You don’t have to do it all at once.