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Original poster

Unable to get over losing dream home

29 replies

flutterby101 · 04/06/2018 17:37

Recently myself and partner viewed a house we totally fell in love with. It’s perfect for our family and is the first house we’ve both really loved - nothing has even come close. We offered asking price as soon as we left the property and the EA called us. Only to be told that whilst we we’re viewing another offer had been made by someone in a better position (sold to first time buyer - we hadn’t yet sold) and even though they offered under asking price, they went with their offer and we were rejected. We are gutted. We have asked the estate agent to let us know if it falls through, only to be told this is unlikely as it is already going ahead and solicitors are already involved.

I cannot get over this house and feel like it’s meant to be. Everything I’ve seen since I just compare to this house. We are now in a strong position having sold our property, what I’m wondering is where do I stand with my dream property..?

Is it just too late and to get over it. Do I just hold off and do nothing and see if it falls though? Can I put in another offer (willing to go above asking price) even though it’s under offer and morally wrong, and if so do I do this through the EA or can I put a letter through their door directly? How do I know if I pass onto EA it’ll actually be passed to vendor?

Just want advice, I can’t stop thinking/dreaming of this house. I don’t want to put the vendor off or scare them by putting a letter through their door but I’m desperate!

OP posts:
user1484830599 · 04/06/2018 18:09

Sales do fall through! I saw my dream house, and was gutted when it sold then it came back on the market at the perfect time (wasn't the right time originally even though it was only 4ish months before!) Now living in that same house.

Also, several years ago my husband and I viewed a house that we loved. It was perfect and we could both see ourselves living there. Unfortunately we couldn't quite make the numbers work - it needed serious renovation and while we could afford to buy it it would have left us nothing to do it up. I still can't drive past that house without feeling a pang but actually I wouldn't have my lovely house now if we'd bought that.

What's for you won't go by you O/P. Good luck, and fingers crossed.

user1484830599 · 04/06/2018 18:10

You have nothing to lose by putting a note through the door saying that you loved the house and had been very disappointed to miss out and asking them to contact you should the sake fall through.

OccasionalNachos · 04/06/2018 18:13

Oh Flowers that is a shame.

I lost out on a property once - never even got a viewing as before we were able to see it, an offer had been accepted. What boils my piss the most is that the house now looks a right state from the outside - the garden has so much potential & the owners are doing NOTHING 😡

You have nowt to lose by putting a letter through the door, sales do fall through! Good luck.

Original poster
flutterby101 · 04/06/2018 18:14

Thank you. Everyone keeps telling me what’s meant to be will be. I feel like I’m grieving! Im hurt and angry at the same time! I think I will do a note, it’s just do I make an offer (basically asking them to pull out of current sale), or simply just ask them to let us know if it falls through (which EA tells me it won’t which makes matters so much worse!)

OP posts:
Hissy · 04/06/2018 18:18

First house I bought was under offer when I saw it. Sale fell through and I bought it the minute the vendor rang me.

Speak to the agent, they’ll call you if anything happens

I promise you the house you buy will be better than the one you lost.

user1484830599 · 04/06/2018 18:21

I would absolutely not make an offer. If the sellers are prepared to gazump/gazunder the first time buyers (sorry I can never remember which is which) then they'll do the same to you. Also what is to stop the FTBs simply increasing their offer?

I would think it a bit cheeky too (sorry), it is sold, advertised as such and as far as I am concerned that makes it off limits to further offers.

user1484830599 · 04/06/2018 18:22

A note with your contact details, saying how much you love the house and asking them to get in touch if the sale falls through is more than enough

LML83 · 04/06/2018 18:26

If you feel it is morally wrong (I tend to agree) then don't do it. You will feel guilty and not enjoy the dream house you've taken from someone else.

Fingers crossed it falls through. If not I know people who put a leaflet through the doors of a street they new the wanted to live in and purchased that way. Is there any similar houses? There might be Simone considering going on the market and like the chance to save on estate agent and hassle of viewings.

FredSheeran · 04/06/2018 18:29

This exact situation happened to me and DH last year - fell in love with a dream property, offered asking price, lost it for less to a cash buyer because we hadn't yet sold our house. It's gutting, and I totally sympathise on the way nothing else seems to measure up, but I think you have to let it go. If it comes back on the market, you can snap it up - sales do fall through - but there's no point pouring more emotion into the place. It'll only make it harder to find an equally ideal house.

Our consolation came via the local grapevine when we discovered that our dream house was, in fact, sitting on a pile of completely collapsed drains that would have cost £20,000 to fix. There's maybe a divine reason you didn't get this one... or so I keep telling myself

headinhands · 04/06/2018 18:30

I really don't think it's meant to be. It's just bricks etc. Something else will come along. Don't be an arse.

Original poster
flutterby101 · 04/06/2018 18:30

Unfortunately there’s nothing at all like this one that we know of... not in the area we want.

I do agree it’s not ideal making an offer but it does confuse me as some websites say we are in our right to do it as we viewed (and offered) before the other offer was made.. it’s not like we’ve never viewed it. And no paperwork has been signed yet? (It’s literally been 2 days!) but I agree maybe a friendly note asking them to bare us in mind is more appropriate.

OP posts:
Original poster
flutterby101 · 04/06/2018 18:31

Ha ha an arse.. Grin you sound like my husband! It is bricks I keep telling myself that. It’s just hard to lose out on something you love!

OP posts:
user1484830599 · 04/06/2018 18:39

I really feel for you O/P. It's a horrible situation.

Addy2 · 04/06/2018 18:41

The other buyers might love it too though, and your desires are no more important than theirs. I don't think it's right tbh, even though we do live in a very self-centred world.

tomatoplantproject · 04/06/2018 18:47

Loads of sales round my way are falling through at the moment. Something similar happened to me recently - I had a phone call a few weeks later to say the place was back on the market and I'm now in the agonising position of waiting whilst the solicitors do their thing.

You never know. Best of luck.

ThisisSparta · 04/06/2018 18:51

Hi OP, I’m going to give you some advice I was given when in a similar situation:

You do not love the house. You love the idea of the house, you are letting yourself get carried away by a fantasy, and while day dreams are fine, getting to a point where you are left miserable and low because you can’t achieve this dream means you need to move on from it.

Also worth baring in mind that you can’t control what other people will do, only what you can do, so be prepared for any requests for considering offers etc may be turned down.

I do mean all of that kindly because I know it’s a horrible feeling !

Bombardier25966 · 04/06/2018 18:52

The sellers have accepted an offer from someone else. Why do you think you have the (moral) right to barge in and disrupt that? You've asked the EA to get in touch if the sale falls through, that's all you should do for now.

It's not your dream home. It's a house, a building, home is wherever you make it.

theluggageslegs · 04/06/2018 18:52

If the other buyers have offered on the condition that it is removed from the market then the vendors would be awful to consider a further offer after already rejecting yours.

You really never know what will come up next. This time last year I absolutely fell in love with a house, it was perfect in every way but it sold before our house was even marketed. I never expected to better it but somehow we’ve managed to - and at £50k lower purchase price too. Keep looking!

Original poster
flutterby101 · 04/06/2018 19:30

Thanks everyone for your replies. I’m not trying to be self-centred or anything it’s just a crappy situation which has got me down. But hearing from others who have gone through the same thing does help and make me realise that hopefully things will work themselves out! (Fingers Crossed!)

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 05/06/2018 08:12

If it's your house you'll get it.

I would definitely put in writing that you are still interested if the sale falls through though.

We had a litany of disasters getting our house but got it in the end.

pinkdelight · 05/06/2018 11:32

"It’s literally been 2 days!"

Well then it's worth contacting the EA to let them know your position has changed and to pass on your offer. Chances are the FTB are still in a stronger position because there's no chain, but I wouldn't feel any guilt if it's literally a couple of days. Gotta be worth a punt, then at least you can move on knowing that you gave it your all and it wasn't to be, rather than regretting just letting it go.

DownUdderer · 05/06/2018 12:55

This is a hard one! I keep hearing of sales falling through left right and center though so you never know, but I would say keep looking! Perhaps try and consider adjacent roads or suburbs, sometimes you find a new property and think wow I didn’t think I’d like that road, but that house is nice!

KarmaStar · 05/06/2018 13:01

I think it's pretty mean to say fingers crossed it will fall through.
It's even worse to gazump someone because you think you want the house more than they do.
Just stop for a minute and really think about what you are doing op.

cheeseandpineapple · 05/06/2018 13:06

Focus on selling your house so you can move quickly for next house you want to go for. Someone chain free is going to be attractive particularly if owners have had problems with a chain breaking down in the past.

WhereIsMyXylophone · 05/06/2018 14:06

We lost out on a house by a few hours ie ours was being negotiated and when we accepted the offer we offered on the one we wanted to be told it had sold 3 hours before my call.

We went to 2nd view our 2nd choice which was the exact same house but the house wasn't in as favourable a position on the street to be told that they had taken it off the market temporarily.

2 months later the house we are in came on the market, exactly the same style as the other 2 but with a double garage rather than a single, more parking, better position on the street, not overlooked. It did come with a bigger price tag but we have absolutely no regrets. That was 8 years ago. We love this house.

In your position I would put a note through the vendor's door expressing your disappointment, but also contact all local estate agents telling them you have sold and tell them what you are looking for.

My sister just viewed a house that hadn't even been put on the market, just valued by estate agents and photos hadn't been taken yet. She bought it!

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