Honest opinions - house project plus new baby

[ladybirdees]

OH and I have been looking at a house which could be a great family home for years to come but needs a lot of work to get there. It's liveable in but illogically laid out and needs a lot of tlc to make a home. We're having our third baby in a few months and I would be grateful for opinions from anyone who's contemplated or done this level of project. Is it bonkers? We're both ok with doing a project but I'm worried we might get half way in and feel overwhelmed. I'm talking about a complete overhaul, even moving the stairs and front door!

Could you live elsewhere for all or some of the time whilst it’s being done?

Or can you live with it for a bit whilst you settle down with the new baby?

We are in month 3 of our renovation. (Which was originally meant to take 6 weeks and I think in reality will be 4 months). We lived with family for the first month. We were told to prepare ourselves for it coming in over budget and overrunning, so we did (and both of these things happened - so glad I set aside a ridiculous amount of contingency). It hasn’t been the worst, but it is stressful and I think with children, especially a new born, it would be awful - but if it is the forever home and you could live elsewhere then I would go for it.

Also if you do go ahead and live in - the level of dust is like nothing on earth and there is no getting rid of it until the whole things is done. I don’t know if that is harmful to babies but think about if it would worry you and how much it would stress you out.

We have no regrets, though right now I am longing for it to be finished. If it’s really the forever home think about ways to make the building site work.

Don’t do it. Seriously.

We have a self build which we moved into when DD2 was 10months, DD1 was 3. We ran out of money despite massive work done to ensure we wouldn’t, and now we are living in a part complete house with an unsafe rubble pit for a garden, with no money to get out of it (mealsout, soft play, coffees etc all out) and the only way to do any work on it is to do it ourselves. Which is slow work as one of us always has to watch the kids so we basically never see each other. I hope our relationship will survive it.

I think that sounds pretty terrible tbh.

Have you done any similar projects before? We replaced bathroom and kitchen and that was horrific enough, no way I’d have wanted to do that with a new baby.

Also no way to predict how easy/difficult this baby will be....

Agree with the no way of telling how the baby will be. DD2 still doesn’t sleep through (nowhere near), which I know is normal etc etc but it makes it so much worse as I’m on my knees half —all— the time and although DP wants to help with nights I feel bad him doing so as he is spending every hour he’s not working doing diy. And I have zero energy to do normal day to Day drudge of housework, cooking etc let alone tackling manual labour in the garden or DIY. I also can’t really get mucky in the evening or at nap time as there’s no predicting when DD will wake up. And DD1 ‘helping’ with anything is a non starter!

Don't do it. Our house needed lots of work doing to it (and still does).

After 4 years, we are just getting round to having a new kitchen. Everything has had to be ripped out, down to the brick and it's so stressful. There's dust everywhere. I can't put my hand on anything and it's one of the most stressful things I've been through and I haven't got a baby.

I fantasise about moving into a new build where everything has already been done and it's shiny and new.

And if one more person says it’ll be worth it when it’s done I’m going to get violent. It’s seriously years off even botch jobbed finished.

I’m in the ‘it’s bonkers’ camp..

I’d do it only if you had enough money to do all the work in one go and quickly, allowing for a reasonable contingency too. And you could afford to live elsewhere whilst it’s being done.

DB and SIL did this when their youngest was a baby; they rented a 2 bed flat, the house was considerably under budget so they threw money at it and moved in 6 months later. It absolutely paid off and they have a gorgeous forever family home that would have been way out of budget if they’d bought it finished.

We had enough money and a considerable contingency. Everything cost an absolute ton more than it should have done. And we had professional project managers and budget control (in theory).

We are in a huge project but our youngest is 9 oldest 13 and I've only been working v part time. DH is now the person doing all the serious work and has been for the last year. Progress is painfully slow. And we are structurally finished it's "just" finishing off in the house. About to start a major piece of landscaping for a barn too and new drive. Nothing ever gets finished. Only one 1/2 of one wall of the kitchen is finished. It's beautiful but.....

Would I do it with toddlers and smalls and a baby. Not knowingly.

Don't do it. We've completed a few projects. We're experienced and it still always takes longer and costs more, and I wouldn't even attempt a major project with a baby.
Keep looking until you find a house that doesn't need major work.

I've done a complete gutting and refurb (but no extension and only one wall moved) in three months with a toddler and in the third trimester with my second.

The refurb was fine. Living through it with a small child was horrendous. I would never do it again unless we could live elsewhere, or if it was the only option for keeping a roof over our heads. Even without a small child, living through it would have been really hard work.

You say that the house is livable in. Does it need re-wiring and re-plumbing? If so, could you get that done, and then do, say, a room a year?

I’m in the middle of a renovation with a baby, well the renovation started before the baby was born he’s now 10 months and I’ve still no bathroom or kitchen. It should have been finished before the baby was born. I moved out back with my parents.
Don’t do it

Mine also was supposed to be entirely finished before Baby was born and it’s not even close now -her first birthday pictures have unfinished building work in the background...

We're in the middle of a refurb – reconfigured new kitchen, bathroom, knocked through front room/dining room, bedrooms gutted – with one DC8 and there's no way I'd contemplate it with a newborn. So. Much. Dust. Plus a million questions that the builder will need answering asap and they won't care if you've got a baby on your boob. Is there an option for you to live elsewhere?

Done it twice on maternity leave. The best time for a project imo as I’m around and it gives me another focus. I’m preparing for another project but this time it will be before we consider a third asi think 3 lo plus builders would be too much even for me!

Agree that mat leave is useful in a way as you’re around for builders. But still the stress of it all plus the intrusion of the mess and people is dreadful. The electrician walking in on me breastfeeding (when bedroom door was shut; he didn’t even knock) was a low point. The mess with a crawler and being unable to put her down for months in several rooms (incomplete plasterboard and sharp bits) was also awful.

I bought our home, a renovation project, shortly after my daughter was born (it was the hormones I'm sure...) and had work done whilst on maternity leave. My daughter was premature and low birth weight so not an "easy" baby.
Believe me, I have nerves of steel, but it wasn't easy.
During that year, most work got completed. We still have a few bits to do but nothing major.
What I didn't anticipate was losing my mother in law, grandmother and best friend during that year, whilst living on a building site.
What I'm trying to say is, despite best plans and intentions anything and everything can happen.
Can you do it? Of course you can. Is it a good idea? Only you can decide. You will need a lot of support, money, and expect the unexpected.

We moved out of our house when my second child was 6 weeks old for four months whilst we had a double storey extension and whole house renovation done. We had a ( tiny studio) flat to move into very fortunately. It all went ok and on the days my eldest was at nursery, me and the baby were able to come to the site, check things, make decisions and I was able to shop for all of the bits like kitchen/bathrooms/tiles/carpets.

I think it very much depends on your timelines, finances and levels of support. It is do-able though and I think never more so than when babies are tiny.

Good luck!

Problem is babies don’t stay tiny for the length of time building work can take!

We did a huge renovation when I was pregnant. It was meant to take 3 months but actually took 6, and only finished it the week before I had the baby. We lived there except for the rewiring (stayed at a friends for 2 weeks) so no kitchen or bathroom for ages. No way would I do that with a baby unless we could live elsewhere. Oh and we had huge contingency (40%) and used it all, though admittedlynsome of that was choosing higher end things than we had to.

I've done it a few times. Having a newborn is ok if breastfeeding if you don't have a kitchen. For six months before weaning it was alright. Young children and building sites is fun and they learn safety pretty quickly!

It's a hard slog but ultimately quite an adventure with the bonus of a nice house a the end (hopefully!)

We bought a house when I was 8 months pregnant, we knew it needed work but thought we could get it livable before the baby arrived. Baby came 1 week early and the amount of work required was far more than we anticipated. We couldn't live there with a small baby due to the dust and had to move in with my in-laws for 6 very long months. It was awful. Everything just took much longer to do than anticipated.

I'd only ever consider doing what we did again if we could just throw money at it and have someone in to do the work to a set timescale.

We are still working our way through a long list of jobs 18 months in, progress is slow and frustrating. Our next house won't even need a lick of paint if it's anything to do with me!

I've lived through work being done whilst in rented with a new baby (kitchen rip out amongst other things and decorating done by ourselves.)
I now have 3 children and for the last 18 months have been living in a bomb site of a renovation project.
It's do able, but it depends how well you would cope with living on a building site and having work men in and out (wasn't particularly fun whilst breastfeeding).
It's stressful and I feel sometimes I've forgotten what it would be like to live in a normal, finished, homely home. But in our case it was the only way we could get a decent house on our budget. If you're looking long term and know it would make a fabulous family home, and you have the money and the guts then I say go for it.