Moved to a new area- miss the old one! Will it get better?

[Toomuchsky]

I've only moved 4 tube stops away but am missing my old area so much it hurts...

We lived there for almost 10 years in a lovely but run down HA flat with a big garden near to a park. DC (5&9yo) went to an amazing school. It felt like home. The flat was quite cramped with not enough bedrooms, but we loved it nonetheless. We couldn't afford to buy, so resigned ourselves to staying there; the location was so great, it seemed worth it.

Last year, my mum died unexpectedly. It completely floored me, we were very close and she was very involved in our lives. I miss her every day.

My mum's tiny house in the Home Counties turned out to have gone up in value (now a popular commuter town), so when it sold I inherited enough for a deposit on a house. I have been incredibly lucky, and never thought we'd be in a position to buy.

We looked at shared ownership in our local area, but it cost a bomb (£2k a month!) and we wouldn't have had any outside space. We decided to move further out and buy a small house outright.

I am finding it so hard to settle. We've only been here a matter of weeks, but it's so different; it feels quite suburban, much quieter, the kids' new school is so different from the lovely one they were at before and as it's still London, it has its fair share of crime etc. The house is nice but needs work which we can't afford to do and has a much smaller garden.

I miss everything about where we lived before. Will this feeling pass? Have you any tales of how it happened to you and It Was Alright In The End?

Feel like we've made a terrible mistake and should have gone with the shared ownership option/bought a new car/had a great holiday and stayed put.

I do appreciate what a whine-fest this is, and apologise for the tight diamond shoes nature of this post. I just feel very sad and want to go home

You need to give it longer than a few weeks, at least a year I reckon.

Try to buck up and find things you like about the new area, because realistically you need to stick it out or lose out financially. There must be some good reasons why you picked it, try and remind yourself of them.

I hated the house we're about to leave almost immediately and I've been here 8 years. I'm pleased to be moving on but as moving day approaches I realise I'm going to miss a few things after all. I think maybe the human mind is just a bit contrary.

And losing a parent is hard, it really shakes up your whole outlook on the world. Don't panic just yet.

Thanks Easily- you're right of course.

I know that feeling at home takes time. I just don't want it to! There are lovely things about the new area; it's just knowing that we can't go back to the old one with all its familiarity which is making me sad. Time to plan some local activities and get to know the area.

yes, you will get used to it and remember you've had a lot of life changes with your mum too. you had good reasons to move and must have chose the house for a reason, so focus on that.

i moved a year ago to my as close as i can get to "forever house", a type of house in an area i wanted for about 5 years. it wasn't the exact house that i wanted but it ticked most boxes so we went for it.

i think the thing is that the safety net and everything that was set/fixed/ predictable has now changed and it will take time to get used it to it. a year in and i'm getting there. i think what made me most unsettled was that in old house, we had very low living costs and would have been mortgage free in 7-10 years but now we are back up to a long term of mortgage and nearly double mortgage to pay each month. there honestly was a point when we'd been here just a couple of moths where everything started breaking (leaking bath, leaking taps, leaking shower trays and shower fittings kitchen doors falling off, manky carpet) and i just wanted to sell the fucker at a loss as we had no money to deal with things.

a year in, we are just getting to the point where i feel a bit more financially covered again to start spending on the house, banked up the money after more hard saving!! i think spending on solid wood flooring and beautiful wall decoration will really help and i can't wait.

so i think its a bit of a waiting game when you move unless you borrow even more to do work on house immediately.

As a PP said, you could move now and lose the stamp duty and solicitors cost or could stick it out for a couple of years and see.

honestly, its still early days until you've been in the house for a few years. go out for meals in local areas, just go strolling with the kids on scooters or go for a jog around and about. get to know short cuts and routes. good luck.