I’m sick and tired of stupidly expensive commuter belt living. Opportunity for DH to work from home 4days. Where can we get much more space for our money but still be close to good schools?

[Lookingforspace]

We live in Snooty Mc Snootville yummy mummy suburban paradise apparently. I’ve grown to hate it. It depresses the hell out of me and we simply can’t afford it. House is worth a stupid amount (I feel) but it needs work and it’s too small for us. We can’t afford anything bigger.

DH has been offered a role primarily based at home. It’s been on the cards for 2yrs but only just been confirmed. We long for space; proper space both inside and out. Trouble is schools. We have 3 children, two of whom are already at seniors (Y7&8) They are at grammar school, Y7 DD at a very highly selective one.

Where can we go and can get what we want for maximum budget of 750k? I was thinking Lincolnshire as cheaper but still a grammar system but I don’t know.

I guess I want to feel relaxed. We have lived in both London and Edinburgh too and nowhere felt as unrelaxed as here. I think it may have something to do with our lack of outdoor space and the horrendous traffic around here though but also everyone seems so bloody competitive and obsessed with materialism and there’s this whole secret society of 11+ tutor knowledge and all these parents trying to make friends with the ‘right’ people to be passed the golden info when your child reaches Y3.

Yes. I guess I feel that DS2 would thrive with more space, less stress, he’d love to be near the coast but that’s a pipe dream. I think I’m worn down and worried about DS2 and you’re right, AJPT, I need to think what I may be doing to the older two.

Sounds like your older two are settled and sorted. If your youngest is less academic then presumably you can completely oft out of the grammar school frenzy and focus on finding a secondary that is nurturing and helps him to achieve his potential. Maybe look privately if finances allow.

Would a smaller move, to a nearby less congested and competitive area that allowed your older kids to stay at the same school, not be a compromise option? Or a small holiday place to give you a break from the city?

How old is DS2?

He’s 8!

I think that there’s always a risk that you will get competitive tutoring, especially with grammar schools - it’s almost become the norm.
I also think that moving your settled y7 & 8 could create problems.
What are the non grammar options near you for DS2?

tbh the tutoring issue will likely be the same anywhere with the grammar system.

Gloucester and Cheltenham have grammar schools (with Pate’s being one of the best in the country) but late admissions can be tricky. You might get an acre of land with that budget, but it wouldn’t be very near to Cheltenham because property there is very expensive in comparison to the surrounding areas.

Doubly frustrating! Another year or so and there might have been a gap.
Whilst you still ponder, have a really good plan around ds2. When we were trying to move i had to have a back up plan because i wasnt sending dd3 to our catchment school regardless. I scoped out a good non selective private as a back up. You have a completely different set of criteria for ds2 than your others. Have you had an ed psych assessment? That clarified my thinking completely. Can you create more time/space/ less stress where you are?

Sorry, thats off your question slightly but i wonder if you defined ds2s needs and prioritised them in finding the best secondary for him within a commutablw distance for the 2 oldest you might be nearer to a workable acheivable solution.

Left field suggestion - Reading. If it's your DD that you want in a grammar, Kendrick Girls is one of the best. If you look in Caversham or Sonning you'll find decent houses for your budget, or if you want more rural Pangbourne. Plus all those places your teenagers will be able to use public transport to get into Reading so will keep their social life happy! Easy into London too.

Rutland? Very nice houses. Very high achieving local comp. (Catmose College) An hour and 1/4 to London Kings cross.

Gloucestershire- lots of grammars including one one of the highest achieving state schools- Pates. Again an hour and a bit to Paddington.

I don't know the area particularly, but I gather East Renfrewshire has the highest-rated schools in Scotland. How about this?

What about Northern Ireland. More house for your money. Great schools and regular flights to London.
www.propertypal.com/46c-glenmaquill-road-knockloughrim-magherafelt/431915

Here's one here near the sea for your son!

www.templetonrobinson.com/property/malin/trhtrh82046/cloghin-dubh/

I was going to suggest Leicestershire as well.

Thanks all. You’ve all been really helpful.
AJPT, your posts in particular have helped clarify what I need to look for.

Jeezo, come to Scotland! For £750k you could get an amazing house in Bearsden, Milngavie etc.

Rugby, and for your budget I'd buy this. Under an hour to Euston.

www.rightmove.co.uk/s6p/64250692

Nobody has said the Wirral. There are 4 grammars there. You could get something very nice in a very desirable part e.g. West Kirby for £750k. Or, go for the Cheshire end if you can't stomach being in Merseyside. Still got grammar access/ decent schools in Chester etc and lovely houses.

We’re by the sea OP selling and moving to Cheshire
I’ll do u a swap!! Or you could buy a lovely, reasonably priced holiday home...don’t worry, we’re well away from that well known ‘cheshire set’ haunt, so it won’t be out of the frying pan and into the fire

Oh and train from Liverpool Lime St to London is 2 hr.

What about East Sussex - not far from London and Brighton ? Warmer than some places mentioned

This house has 3/4 of an acre. Nearest station is 1.7 miles away (Burgess Hill) - schools look fine

Highfield in Preston is a great private school as is Kirkham, South ribble has been voted best place to live, so worth a look? 2hours to London from Preston too

Burgess Hill goes straight into Blackfriars in 1hr 4minutes

Edinburgh. Fantastic schools, 750k will get you something lovely and there’s train and plane links to London.

Or look in the golden triangle in Yorkshire - again near that east coast route, quick trains if he only has to be there once a week and the combo of good schools and Naice areas.