Advice on fake grass please?

[SpottyGreenFrog]

I'm thinking of a fake lawn because frankly my real lawn is like a bog & I'm sick & tired of mowing. My best friend is dead against them & warns me all sorts of bad stuff will happen like the joins will come apart and it will fade quickly & 'trails' will show where we walk. Have you had one? Does it look real? What did it cost? & did the joins come apart? I'll probably need 20m2

They're stealing them around here!

We got rid of our lawn as it wasn't standing up to life with the dogs and was taking so long to dry out in rain it was unusable a lot of the year and replaced it with patio (we've got lots of drainage channels worked into it) a few years ago and it's so much better when you've got a small space.

We love ours, been down 3 years, we had to do it because our garden was like a bog, best thing we ever did.

I just ordered some samples. Really considering it. I'd probably end up with the garden from hell according to some posters...half sand half fake grass.😬

When we get a heavy rainfall, aren't artificial grass owners flooding the surrounding areas?

We are removing our real lawn soon. It's completely unusable. The kids can't play on it, sit on it.

We'll probably do something like bark chippings. It's shit. I like grass, but it's a lumpy, soggy mess. It doesn't ever dry out and it always feels slightly damp.

I like grass, but it's a lumpy, soggy mess. It doesn't ever dry out and it always feels slightly damp.

TuftedLady Are you me? Or are you secretly living in my house?

aren't artificial grass owners flooding the surrounding areas?

I might be wrong and am open to correction Landed but my understanding is that non-permeability is one of the few crimes not particularly associated with fake grass as it is supposedly installed over sand and hardcore, and has holes in it precisely to allow water to flow through it.

So if one were to install fake grass, the sins are naffness and environmental destruction due to plastic and loss of worm homes. If you install paving (as advised in a couple of posts on the thread) then you are not naff, but (despite a dearth of mentions in any thread condemning fake grass) some types of paving can cause problems with run-off as well as loss of aforementioned worm homes. Maybe, the bigger sin is actually the naffness, but everybody bigs up the environmental angle instead 🤔?

My green credentials are currently impeccable because I have a horrible unusable wet lawn that I am nevertheless keeping going, solely for the benefit of the environment and in no way for the actual people who live in the house . (Unless my green credentials are tainted because I'm constantly thinking how much I loathe the lawn, and fantasise about replacing it with fake grass/paving? Is there such a thing as environmental thought-crime ?)

I think it can be very practical if you have the sort of garden where grass doesn't do well, because of e.g. shade, or if it's going to be turned into a quagmire every winter because of football etc. But it has to be good quality and laid properly.

As for very small gardens, I can't agree that paving or decking is always better. Personally I dislike decking anyway, and if there are small children, paving is not at all friendly. A friend of a dd put good quality artificial grass down in her tiny garden for 2 very little dcs to play on. It looks very nice and is very practical in such a small space.

We had artificial grass from Easigrass professionally installed, we've had it four years, we got it because our garden is shady and we had ground elder, so it was the best way to suppress it. It looks super and feels good underfoot. If I hadwas a big garden I wouldn't, but for a tiny city garden it's fine, we have got lots of plants to attract bees and it is infinitely better than suppressing the ground elder with black sheeting and gravel.

Best money we've ever spent,

infinitely better than suppressing the ground elder with black sheeting and gravel.

I suspect that real-lawn advocates would disagree!

I don't like them and it definitely put us off a house. One thing I particularly noticed was a strong smell of cat wee (I guess it needed washing?)

My dad also ran a lawn treatment firm and got lots of calls from people with fake grass and moss problems. His chemicals couldn't be used on the plastic.

It amazes me how many people are talking about going plastic free and not using plastic bags but happily cover their outside area with plastic

I do wonder what we have become where removing something natural and covering the garden with plastic is a positive thing.

Those of you complaining about it not being environmental-friendly this is a small drop in the ocean compared to people who pave their front gardens to park on. There is no point in having an unusable outside space e.g. boggy, muddy earth, which on most estates is a small percentage of the footprint of their concrete house. I hope you don't live on vast new-build estates, THAT'S where the environment is slowly being destroyed.

So, still hoping for advice from lawn-lovers - how best to maintain my all-important patch of lumpy muddy grass which I am keeping just for the worms and not for the humans who can't use it?

As I said upthread, it essentially never dries out properly and the ground is uneven, which together make mowing very difficult because the wet grass sort of clogs up the blades and the mower gets stuck on the lumps. Should I replace the lawn mower with a strimmer? Or a goat?

Does any lawn advocate actually have a wet lumpy lawn that is not useable by people but that they nevertheless lovingly keep maintaining, and if so could they please offer some advice to me? Honestly!!!

lawn is always slightly damp. that's just how it is.

there are many many different lawn mixes, suitable for most areas.

you can also think about having new real lawn with the ground prepared and leveled similar to if were to install fake grass. that should solve mud/drainage issues.

if the lawn mower clogs up, it's because the blades are too blunt and/or the grass is too wet.
mow in the evening of a dry day and get the lawnmower serviced.

Probably needs scarification and other treatments I can't remember the name of. Try calling Greenthumb - they come 4 times a year and it's about £20 a time for a small lawn. Completely changed how we used our lawn which used to be a boggy mass of moss. Moved house now and need to get them round for weeds.

Thank you blueshoes for your advice!

My lawn is not just slightly damp. I have experienced other lawns in my life, and never one like this. As I have said, even after several days of dry weather, even my mucky DC won't sit or cartwheel on this lawn, because they get muddy hands and clothes.

This also applies to the waiting for grass to dry before mowing - I do wait, and check repeatedly, for the driest stretch of weather for the opportunity to mow (living in the North, this can be particularly difficult). Our lawnmower is the admittedly crap Flymo which has its blades regularly replaced and still I get the problems - it was absolutely fine for our previous garden, but clearly isn't suitable for this one.

My childhood home was on clay so the garden was often wet. I remember my parents installing drainage to improve it somehow but I couldn’t tell you what. I remember them digging channels and putting something in but other than that, I’ve got nothing.

Those of you complaining about it not being environmental-friendly this is a small drop in the ocean compared to people who pave their front gardens to park on.

It’s kind of irrellevent though. just because something is also bad doesn’t make covering your garden in plastic OK. You say it’s a drop in the ocean but that’s because it’s a relatively new idea that seems to be increasing in popularity. Paving a front garden has been around for years and years so there are more of them causing problems.

Personally I think it's hideous but if you love it and it suits your lifestyle - go for it.

Oops NC fail so much for trying to keep different names for different topics!

Anyway for me it's kind of a moot point, because I'm never going to have the money for a new lawn, fake or real. But I shall carry on loathing my useless lawn, cursing every time I have to mow it, and dreaming of getting rid of it in favour of paving etc.

Struggling to find my samples, but here's a snap of my absolute favourite - Wonder Yarn 36 from Lazy Lawn. Looks the most realistic by far (think I also ordered samples from First Choice Grass, Nam Grass and Easigrass.

As someone mentioned upthread, it's also a Which award winner and I can see why.

We have it, best thing we ever did. Nothing like laying out a blanket which will not get mud on it and listening to some poor bastard mow their lawn in summer.

We have 2 boys and you could see the tracks on the real grass where they walked down the garden to the house, and where they played football.

The fake grass is easy to maintain, brush the leaves off it, water it with weed killer every 3 months. Err, that is it.

I have cleaned fox poo off it, it was incredibly easy compared to real grass.

The benefits to us are it dries incredibly quickly as it was professionally laid with hardcore underneath, both Dh and I have hayfever and if we mow the lawn or go outside after the gardener cut the grass Dh would have slits for eyes, have to stick an electric thing up his nostrils to help him breathe and put eye drops in his eyes.

He can now actually enjoy the garden. Be outside with us and eat out there too. We have a patio area which the BBQ sits on so no melting the grass.

The slight negative is yes it is warm in hot weather but the pros massively outweigh the cons. Slipping a pair of flip flops on is hardly taxing.

Thanks Crumbelina, that looks gorgeous! I ordered a sample and can't wait for it to arrive

Ignoring the cost it's the environmental factor that would put me off. I too have a cold damp north facing garden. I don't want to wrap it in plastic though!
Oh I get the temptation, I really do. I'm generally not even able to cut my lawn now. I still don't want plastic. I'd be embarrassed too.

They look horrific and were an instant no when we were house hunting. I get why people have them though.