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Original poster

Thinking of relocating

13 replies

bublingon12 · 03/04/2018 12:05

My DH has 2 DC from previous relationship and we would really like to relocate to somewhere you can only fly/ ferry to which would mean seeing the DC less, maybe monthly. We already have to travel 2.5hrs each way to see them.
They are too young to travel alone as unaccompanied have to be 12+

Would it be really selfish for us to move? It would make my DH so happy to be living there, lifestyle would be better although we would have less as jobs aren't as good.

I'd love peoples opinions &/ or experiences if you have done similar.

They could come for longer in the holidays its just the expense of getting them.

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 03/04/2018 12:16

Is he really happy with the idea of only seeing his children monthly?

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 03/04/2018 12:22

Well if your Dh would be happier only seeing his children once a month (or probably less) he is not much of a father.

Original poster
bublingon12 · 03/04/2018 14:21

of course seeing the children less isnt his choice but a happier healthier dad is important too surely?!

OP posts:
Magstermay · 03/04/2018 15:58

Is there no where that offers the same lifestyle without a flight or ferry?
If it’s for genuine health reasons then I think that’s reasonable, if it’s just because he fancies it then really I think proximity to his children should be a priority if he cares about them.

Twickerhun · 03/04/2018 16:00

The health /mental health benefits would have to be massive I’d say.

Pythone · 03/04/2018 16:03

Are you sure they have to be 12+? I flew as an unaccompanied minor when I was younger than that.

loveka · 03/04/2018 16:06

If you are thinking of where I think you are thinking, then could you consider somewhere on the mainland that has a similar lifestyle/vibe?

We were wanting to relocate to a European country. But we are now going to Cornwall instead.

drofrub · 03/04/2018 16:17

Be aware that if you move away the courts are likely to put the onus on you travelling to see the children on you. I know a couple of parents who have had this.

But just one example. I know someone who moved the equivalent of Cornwall to Manchester* away. So every time he wanted to see his kids he had to drive / fly from Manchester to Cornwall and to pick them up, take them back and then do the return trip the week / fortnight later.

Got very tiring after a few years having to do a 14 hour round trip to collect the children, and then again to return them a few days later. Also, if you fly, you've then got to get from the airport to the child's house to collect them. Don't expect the other parent will be obliged to drop them off at the airport for you.

  • Not those actual places, but similar distances.
Original poster
bublingon12 · 03/04/2018 16:38

yes I understand and we get very little cooperation from mum. Shame as she moved 100+ miles from us

OP posts:
Baxdream · 03/04/2018 16:48

I don't think you can do that to the children, it'd break their hearts.
He can move but not to somewhere he'd see them less, that's my opinion anyway!

AJPTaylor · 03/04/2018 16:50

yes it is selfish
if you want to relocate, why not move closer to his children?

DairyisClosed · 03/04/2018 16:55

Well by the sounds of it he's a pretty rubbish dad anyway so I don't think you should worry yo much about how it will affect his children. If he doesn't care about seeing them then they are better off not seeing him.

Wallywobbles · 03/04/2018 20:11

In France kids fly all over so it really depends. But you'd have to be really realistic about it and the costs.

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