Have name changed. Feeling so depressed today.
I wish I could turn back the clock. 11 years ago I bought my first property, a ground floor 2 bedroom flat that's well over 100 years old. I'm in Scotland. I was a naive first time buyer, taken in by the cornicing, high ceilings and original fireplace. I wasn't thinking practically. I felt I was getting more flat for my money but that's not strictly true because although the ceilings are high the rooms are around the same size as other flats around here.
The problems started the night I moved in. Lots of noise from upstairs, a loud party and guys jumping around and shouting. I felt like I was living with a bunch of students above me, but they're not. It's only gotten worse over the years although there is some respite when he's not home and it's nice and peaceful.
Upstairs neighbour is a nasty, aggressive bastard who has caused lots of damage to my flat (flooding it multiple times due to negligence, pipes bursting in winter due to him not heating it properly) and threatened my dad with violence when he tried to get him to fix it. Because he owns his place too there's nothing that can be done in relation to claiming through insurance and getting him to fix things. I've asked about it before and was told they could send a letter but he could just ignore it. The neighbour did once send a "friend" over to repaper my bathroom after the first time I had water coming through but it was a crap job and the paper started peeling off. The guy looked at me like he wanted to kill me, and didn't say a word the entire time, I didn't trust him. Probably someone who owed my neighbour a favour. It was flooded again shortly after. And then multiple times after that, along with my kitchen when the idiot upstairs was disconnecting his washing machine.
The neighbour works and has money (his mortgage must be peanuts or non existent now) but he Just. Doesn't. Give. A. Shit. Another neighbour has been in his place and said the walls are covered with damp, she thought his attic was leaking or something.
There's multiple big cracks in the walls of my building, outside and in. I've just been filling them in. It's a lot of work, outside pipes are rusty and ancient paint is flaking off window ledges. I did start trying to tidy things up last year(filling in cracks and sanding off paint) but I gave up. It's a lot of work. Why oh why didn't I listen to people and buy a more modern flat? :(
The bathroom is also an eyesore. I have a shower over the bath but the bath is in the centre of the room (against the wall) so I have a round rail for the shower curtain to hang over. It's a huge pain in the arse and I always end up with water all over the floor because the curtain doesn't cover it properly. I want to get rid of the bath and get a shower cubicle put in o I can shower without feeling like I'm a backpacker in a hostel but then people say no bath is a turnoff for buyers. I hate that shower, the shower curtain clings to my body and gets mouldy easy. I don't even know if a 3 sided one is possible? All the showers I've seen have been 2 sided. But the bathroom is an awkward shape.
I fear that I'll never leave this place. There are times when I think it's not that bad, at least I have a place and I just ignore the state it's in and get on with things and try to be out as much as I can so I don't have to look at it. Other times like today I just hate living here and want to give up (my upstairs neighbour is watching a football match and him and his friend keep running and jumping about shouting when someone scores a goal, I felt like my ceiling was going to fall in. Aggressive shouting and so on. It's fucking awful.
Everyone I know lives somewhere nice. Not necessarily having a big house but somewhere homely where you can bring visitors. I can't even bring people over here now because of the massive cracks in the walls (which I filled in but they're still very prominent). I've given up trying to make it look nice, it's defeated me. I do minimum housework. It's a mess. It's embarrassing. I work, I earn a little over 20k but things are so expensive and I don't have a clue about DIY. I'm scared about subsidence but I imagine it would cost a lot to get someone to check things and I don't have much money saved, also I'm getting married in the next year or two. I've pretty much given up on trying to make it look decent because I'm so depressed here and am just crying right now. I know there's other matters that are more important - I have my health - but this is just getting me down. Although there are some things I like about it it's never really felt like home to me.
Sometimes I want to move. DP lives overseas so that's one option although I'd miss my family. I don't know what I'd do here though, I've already been turned down for remortgaging because of the cracks on the building outside. I could move to DP's country and try to rent it out but who would want it. I wonder if I could just cut my losses and sell it to one of those "buy any house" companies, just to get rid. Would a company like that take my flat? Otherwise I'll just end up staying here forever being miserable or until the bloody thing collapses around me. I also know that you're supposed to disclose any problems you've had with the property when you sell it.
Other times I think well it's an asset but I don't think I've made any money on it, if anything I'm losing money. Every now and then I phone up to find out how much I still owe on it (about £40k) and I paid way too much for it in the first place, the then owner was delighted and now I know why.
I just feel like I have no hope. This was my dream flat when I first looked around it but it's been a nightmare. Can anyone offer any advice or have any of you been in a similar situation?
Thanks.