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Original poster

OH with unrealistic expectations

20 replies

OwlyLady · 15/02/2018 19:34

So i did just post previously about sealed bids, anyway we lost so having to look all again at houses.

OH is being so unrealistic I feel though. Every house we've seen so far he's been "That's not worth that" and says he's only be prepared to pay £20k less than asking price as the max!

I have gone along with him but feeling now maybe this is why we've constantly been told flat out "no" by estate agents on other houses and lost the sealed bid.

I told him maybe we need to start being prepared to pay closer to the price. But he isn't really having it. Says people are being greedy...

Doesn't help with his parents are telling him all the houses we've been looking at are stupidly overpriced...

Any idea how I can make him come round?

Or is it me being too happy to pay a bit closer to guide prices?

OP posts:

isthistoonosy · 15/02/2018 19:37

Look at sold prices and how long it takes houses to sell that are like and where you want. Show him that regardless how he feels this is what other people are paying and that os how supply and demand works.

BrandNewHouse · 15/02/2018 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingslowlymad123 · 15/02/2018 19:48

I'd start offering on your own. Only bring him into the discussions when you secure it.

CotswoldStrife · 15/02/2018 19:53

So (according to him) all the houses you have looked at have been overpriced, yet have had offers/sales accepted for more than you offered?

Either he's wrong on the prices or he's cr@p at picking houses. I think it's the prices! But if he still insists they are overpriced, then he needs to start looking at houses within his price range that he wouldn't want to knock insulting amounts of money off and antagonise the vendors. Because unfortunately, his success rate is nil at the moment and this is affecting you as well

CotswoldStrife · 15/02/2018 19:56

Should have said - sorry to hear you lost the other property too, OP.

If he dares to breathe anything about greedy sellers or stupid buyers again, not a court in the land would convict you .... (and those 'stupid buyers' have property which he doesn't).

GummyGoddess · 15/02/2018 21:49

Go on Rightmove and check the sold house prices for similar properties in the areas you're looking in. Then you have solid evidence of how much houses go for.

He reminds me of a certain relative who expresses shock every time they see how much a packet of crisps or a fudge bar is in a shop. I imagine his parents are similar and working on prices from years ago and he doesn't have enough experience to question what they're telling him.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 15/02/2018 22:22

But he is the one being greedy when you think about it, wanting to pay a lot less for a house that is worth a lot more, as has been proven as they have sold at the higher price.

Clutterbugsmum · 15/02/2018 22:27

Ask him why does he think you are not getting the house you want. And if the houses are going for closer to the asking price or sealed bids do you need to look at houses that prices lower then you are.

I'd be inclined to ask him out right whether or not he actually wants to buy are house with you as he seems to be finding reasons not to.

Original poster

OwlyLady · 16/02/2018 05:08

Thanks everyone. Whilst I'm in the office today I'll put together a spreadsheet of guide prices followed by what they went for to show him and his parents.

He certainly wants to move as he is constantly looking online and got upset we lost the sealed bid.

Yeah he is being a bit greedy because usually people selling houses need the money to go on and buy their next one!

OP posts:

wowfudge · 16/02/2018 08:11

I think some people have an expectation that they will always be able to negotiate and bag a bargain. The reality is that the market varies from place to place and it just isn't the case everywhere.

Bluntness100 · 16/02/2018 08:18

Of course he's either being greedy or unrealistic. Clearly it's not overpriced if that's what they sell for. If he ever wants a house he will have to accept that. Otherwise prices will keep escalating as he plays the tight arse and you'll get even less for your money.

I fail to see why he and his parents need a spreadsheet. They can't be that daft. If you're losing out then the clear answer is they are all under valuing. He might not like it or want more for his money, but wanting and getting are two different things, he either accepts he has to pay market price or he can't buy, it's that simple.

thecatsthecats · 16/02/2018 09:15

Don't show his parents unless they have a financial stake in this of a gift.

I don't think looking at houses in his price bracket will work either, because he will only want to undervalue those either.

There's a lot of received bullshit wisdom about house prices. You still see 'offer 10% off asking price' all over here, when in some places, the vendors won't have finished laughing before they're offered 20k over by another buyer.

This is only and exclusively about what your budget is, and what you think will get you the house you want.

pastabest · 16/02/2018 09:17

Well that's the thing about houses, the vast majority of them are 'worth' much the same as the one in the next street or the next town if you reduce them to bricks and mortar but what you are paying for isn't just the bricks and mortar you are paying for the right street in the right town with the right outlook and the right garden, and if someone else wants the same as you then you have to pay more than them to get it.

A house is therefore worth whatever the highest bidder is prepared to pay for it at the moment in time it is being sold.

I bought a house for £168,000 a few years ago. 6 years before that it had been bought for £210,000 at the the height of the housing market. The owners had changed nothing in between, it looked identical to when they bought it when I bought it. I sold it a few years later for £185,000 having changed very little (new boiler, a bit of redecorating). The same house over roughly a 10 year period, with little change all sold a vastly different prices depending on the market/buyer numbers at the time.

hlr1987 · 16/02/2018 09:27

Theres a reason bank valuations take into account how fast property sells in the area. Sounds like they've been taking the articles about house prices falling very literally. Lots of areas act differently though, the whole offer ten percent under doesn't work everywhere. In certain city's (I think Liverpool is an example, from other comments on MN) then it's the norm to pay over the asking price.

Original poster

OwlyLady · 19/02/2018 13:09

Had 9 house viewings Saturday. Was a mad dash. Put in an offer of £257k on one which is up for £265k. Estate agent said they will put it forward as vendors keen to sell and house has been on market since June! So fingers crossed.

I have a couple of friends selling in same area and they've said there's just no interest? And that I shouldn't listen to any estate agents claiming any property is getting a lot of interest.

One couple I know said they have their house on for £270k by estate agents but since having it on for nearly a year they'll happily take £260k for it now and might consider less!

So complicate to weigh everything up.

OP posts:

Troels · 19/02/2018 13:25

So he's waiting to find that gem of a house that the owners are so innocent they wrongly price the house too low so he can have a bargain, with built in equity.
Good luck with the latest offer, it may be the one if it's been for sale a long time.

Original poster

OwlyLady · 19/02/2018 13:35

I think he is just blindly going along with his parents advice. From them he also has it in his head we should expect to pay £10k less than asking price.

Thank you! I do have a good feeling about this one

OP posts:

JoJoSM2 · 19/02/2018 14:03

Fingers crossed! It does sound very stupid to think that all houses are listed for 10k + more then the price they could go for. Different agencies have different pricing strategies. Some houses are put on for a realistic price or even a tad under to attract viewings and offers. That doesn’t mean they’ll knock off another bit of money though.

CotswoldStrife · 19/02/2018 20:10

Good luck with the property OP

When we were buying our first house DH had a conversation with his parents and was stunned after telling me his 'ideas' that I immediately said 'have you been talking to your parents?'. Their proposal was to buy a house at the top of our budget 'as wages rise' for one thing, I pointed out to DH that wages no longer rose by massive percentage amounts as his parents had, and that he himself had suggested getting a small house first and then moving up (his parents had stayed in the same property the entire time). The proposal was quickly shelved.

As I mentioned on another thread recently, our mortgage payment doubled within two years of buying the property (late eighties) so we'd have been completely sunk had we followed their advice at the time

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 20/02/2018 16:48

So much will depend on the local market - how quickly the kind of house you want is selling, how many of that type are available, , etc.

Unless there's a frenzied local,market I'd say that an initial offer of 10% below asking is normal, and often expected. If however you're in the sort of feeding frenzy where everything's going to sealed bids - I haven't known that around here for some time - that's a different matter.

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