Buying Vs renting and heart Vs head

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We're renting at the moment, we have a lovely property in a beautiful location which is somewhere we would never be able to buy. We love it here, and have been here five years (it is very unlikely we would ever have to leave as it is owned by the National Trust) but have been thinking we should consider our long term future and should think about getting on the property ladder.

I think this is a sensible thing to do, but it would be so much easier if we were in a rented property that we were ambivalent about! We're not sure how we would still pay rent once we retire, where-as if we get a mortgage now, it would be paid off when we reach retirement age.

But I can't bear the thought of leaving.

Someone come and tell me I should be thinking with my head and not my heart!

Could you buy somewhere else and rent it out so you'd have it for the investment or in case you needed it and continue living where you do?

I've thought about that, but we wouldn't be able to afford to pay the mortgage and our rent if we didn't have tenants in for whatever reason. Not sure it's viable really.

Unless the one you buy is in a very high rent area and you buy it cheap that plan will no longer work. And those two are now mutually exclusive.

Tricky one!

WAtchjng with interest as I am in same boat. Not NT property but almost.

Of course having something you own by the time you retire is much better than paying money every month to rent with nothing to show at the end of it.

Sadly a lot of people do what you did, they rent houses they could never have and of course they then don't really want to move to what they could.

Count up how much you've spent on rent in five years. If I take a figure I'd say 1k a month, you've already handed over 60 grand and you own nothing, how much will that be over a lifetime?

There’s no of course about it. Very few people get the opportunity to live in a dream house. You may not have anything to show for it at the end of your term that a bluntness100 can appreciate, but those who have been in your shoes - and oh my god, we’ve been in your shoes - will know that it was bloody well worth it.

We bought in the end, btw. Head finally won. Good luck with your decision.

It's not about 'appreciating' anything, It's about being smart with your money and your life.

Renting is a good option for lots of people for lots of reasons but as a long term plan it's not really sustainable is it? Who wants, or will be able to afford, to pay rent when they retire.

If you can position yourself now not to be in that situation then that's smart.

Most people who’ve climbed the ladder might end up with places they’re happier in than when they started, but it’s still not a dream house or anything close. It may be the “smart” thing to do, but how sad, I think, to have never even considered feeding your heart because the head must rule all.

It's worth bearing in mind that, unless something radical happens with elderly care, a lot of people are going to find that their homes vanish into end-of-life care fees. This certainly happened with my dh's grandmother.

You don't have to buy a property-to-let in your area of the country (though it helps, I guess). Could you buy-to-let further afield and afford it? It might make it easier to sell, releasing equity later on, when you need it (thus avoiding losing the money to elderly care).

…This subject gets me a little worked up because, as I mentioned, we’ve been where the OP was (and sorry, I don’t mean to monopolise the conversation), so I really feel for her. Of course we kick ourselves thinking yes, we’d be financially better off now than if we hadn’t gone the buying route years ago. But we’ve gotten so much from our experience that simply can’t be quantified in that way. Where we lived was so special it has become a part of us forever.

This is also what winds me up about the “renting is dead money” mantra; you might as well say that buying an exquisite meal was dead money. As some economist or another said, in the long run, we’re all dead. Sorry to end that on a downer!

wherewithal I think those are good points.

The experience of watching DH's grandmother's savings (her savings, her investments, her property - including her house) all vanish into paying for care in her final years made me really reassess what I thought I knew about the wisdom of buying a home.

I started thinking that the situation is so extreme now, it's akin to a new way of going about the 'New Enclosures' but making the majority of the UK's residents actually pay for the privilege of transferring wealth to the very, very few.

Mortgages are so expensive. You have to compromise on where you live and really scrimp and save to pay the mortgage. And then care for the elderly is so extraordinarily expensive that all that saving vanishes. Was it worth it?

In theory, you can release some of that equity by down-sizing at crucial points. But who, really, is in a position to do that, since many of us find that we never 'up-sized' in the first place.

Not every elderly person will have to use their assets to pay for care in old age - in fact I can't think of one elderly (and dead) person I know who had to do that. No one knows what will happen to your health when you get old, and to hold off buying a house simply because it may have to be used to pay for care is false reasoning.
OP, I can see your point, you need to find somewhere you like as much as your rental, or a place you can improve. Why don't you start looking around, you may surprise yourself, just give yourself plenty of time to find the right place. Personally I would not like to be in the position of being retired and paying rent (unless I had a simply massive pension to pay for it).
Also, however much you love your rental, there is always the risk that they could decide to end your tenancy (through no fault of your own).

Thanks all,

My nan saved her whole life, she owned her one bed flat and the lot went on her care when she had dementia. I used to work in a care home when I was twenty and one of the residents there told me "never, ever save your money" 😁 It was a very expensive care home!

Where we lived was so special it has become a part of us forever

This. This is completely it. The house isn't even all that amazing, there is loads we would do with it if it were ours, but the location and the outside space is beautiful. Thanks Wherewithal you definitely see where I am coming from.

We have seen a property that would be fine, loads of scope and in a suitable area. DH says he can see us being happy there. I can probably see us being happy there, through the tears!! I think because it has been fairly quick from deciding to perhaps look, to the thought of moving in just a few months that I haven't quite had time to get my head round it. There would be no chain, so there is the possibility it could all be fairly swift.

I appreciate we are very lucky to live where we do. We are in the SE so the most expensive area we could possibly be in, we don't get much for our money here and the property we have seen is more than we thought we would get. I need a grip I think.

The issue with all this is that someone has to pay for care, and if you need it you will want the money. Those who say ' don't save' are probably also those who will complain about poor care standards.

Your kids will have to shift for themselves.

But many of us have been there. Twice I rented and twice I moved into purchased accommodation that was not as good after. I also rented out three properties and without fail every single one of my tenants could not afford the house they were renting and dreading the downgrade.

However, having done it I can say for us it was the right decision. You quickly stop pining after where you rented and start to make your house your home. Making the changes you wouldn't be allowed to renting, making plans, and knowing that the money you paid to your mortgage every month was going to buying that house outright. Mentally it makes a difference knowing it's yours.

Plenty of people don't have to go into care homes, that's not some given, even more don't go in straight after they retire. What is guaranteed though is one day you will want to retire. So financially planning for your future v living for now only is prudent.

Different subject of course, the care. But nan was paying much more to be there than those being paid for by the council. Which didn't seem quite right, but that's a whole other thread!

Yep. I know it's the right thing to do. I have chickens and DH thinks I'm placing them very high on my list of priorities when it comes to looking at properties objectively 😂 He is right!

I've just seen the place we looked at yesterday is under offer with another agent. I feel like not rushing into the first thing we see, and sitting back and waiting while we have the luxury to do so would probably be sensible, and will help me get my head round it all a bit more.

I agree though, I'd also love to have somewhere to do what I wanted to it.

I don't want to get into a debate over the care homes btw - I know someone has to pay for it. I don't expect anything for free and I don't expect anything from parents/in-laws.

I'd like to be able to help my kids out one day if I can though. Another reason for not giving the national trust their potential inheritance!

You say you can bare the thought of leaving and that you love where you are........I think you have answered your own question.

Why not look at other options- long term savings and investments. Plenty of other considerations, not just putting money into property.

Can't *

Why not look at other options- long term savings and investments. Plenty of other considerations, not just putting money into property

That's not easy to do when raising kids and paying rent. At least with buying your own home the asset is yours in the end, you basically get your monthly mortgage money back which you don't with rent.

It is tough, both times I moved into purchased house I felt a bit disappointed, like the removal men were all " oh right". One house we wished to buy, we loved it, it was a beautiful cottage. The owner wanted to sell but it was outwith our budget, we couldn't afford it. I knew we had made a mistake in moving into a beautiful home we couldn't afford to buy as anything we did buy wouldn't come close.

The reality is I can barely remember it now. You move on.after a few weeks in your own place you adjust and stop thinking about your rented accommodation.

I think I have a very different attitude to life but... If you’re worried about being homeless/on benefits in old age when you’re no longer able to earn etc, you could just make sure you have a generous pension in place, consider Lifetime ISAs (if under 40) etc.

Also “
The experience of watching DH's grandmother's savings (her savings, her investments, her property - including her house) all vanish into paying for care in her final years made me really reassess what I thought I knew about the wisdom of buying a home.”

This can be avoided by smart financial planning - around gifting houses etc ;) purposeful deprivation of assets can only claimed back for 11 years

Would you be able to save enough money alongside rent for your retirement to be able to continue paying rent for what could be the last 20 years of your life? If so then keep renting. For everyone talking about retirement home costs, there is (hopefully!) a big gap between retiring and needing to be in care, and that is when I see the benefit of owning a home. We should have ok pensions and other savings but not hundreds of pounds (if not thousands by then, inflation!) a month for rent. But having a mortgage free house to live in, possibly even a big enough one to downsize from and release equity from is my security for retirement. Nothing to do with saving it all until I die, it’s knowing I have to live on something when I’m retired that’s the issue.

I had a similar dilemma when I bought my first home. I was renting a lovely huge spacious flat in Richmond upon Thames. Dirt cheap because it was above a shop, but 2 minutes from the river and the green. I loved it. I ended up buying a poky house (even though I went from a 1 bed flat to a 2 bed house it was smaller!) in an area I didn't like just to get on the housing ladder. For various economic and personal reasons I ended up living there much longer than intended, through meeting my husband and having my first child. And that downgrade was costing me an extra £300 a month when I compared my mortgage to my old rent.

Now, though, I have a lovely home overlooking the countryside and the sea, and my mortgage is lower than the rent on my Richmond flat. All paid for through the equity on my first house. I sometimes look wistfully at my old flat when I'm passing, and there were definitely times I wished I'd stayed, but in the long run it was worth it.

We are both 40. Nearly 41, so the lifetime ISAs are not an option. To be honest we were careless with money when we were younger, we've only just recently paid off a lot of debt - which is why back then we couldn't get a mortgage. So it is only within the past year we have had enough disposable income to begin saving, our pensions are minimal but yes, we are looking at significantly upping these now.

In hindsight we should have been far more sensible, but isn't hindsight a wonderful thing!

But having a mortgage free house to live in, possibly even a big enough one to downsize from and release equity from is my security for retirement. Nothing to do with saving it all until I die, it’s knowing I have to live on something when I’m retired that’s the issue.

This is it I think. We now need to make up for the past and at our age, we need to start now in order to hopefully be mortgage free when we retire.