Aargh. My dream house is back on the market.

[TisapityshesaGeordie]

And we can't buy it. I mean, technically we could, but the reasons we didn't buy it the first time - the location, and the knock on difficulties of DH getting to work and the DC getting to school - haven't changed.

But I still love it. And it's on at £50k less than it was before, which means someone's going to snap it up, and it breaks my heart to think of someone else buying MY house!

Help me get over it

You can continue to fantasise about it even after it is sold to someone else!

Oh no!! We got our dream house and we had to make huge sacrifices. In the long term it is paying off though - but it is hard!!

I don't think you should rule it out yet. What is the difficulty - commuting time?

Oh dear. We viewed my dream house - it needed too much work but would have been AMAZING. I'm not sad we didn't buy it- I really think I'd be having a nervous breakdown if we had - but I hate the idea of the other people making it amazing. So for you.

However. If you can afford it, and it's just things that might be overcome, AND it's £50K less and on for a second chance...?

It's DH's commute that's the problem. He works ridiculous hours anyway - out of the house from 5.30am to 7.30pm every week day. This house would add another 30 minutes to that at either end - doesn't sound like much, but would mean the DC would only see him at weekends. And he'd knackered anyway. I don't want to make it worse.

My dream house is also on the market, I lived in it for 5 years as a tenant and watched every time it was re-let. It didn't get rented out last time and ended up for sale.

I can't have it for all the reasons I never asked to buy it before but I look longingly at the photos and hope that the person that buys it doesn't ruin the character and over develop it. I have saved the photos of it from when it was 'mine' and from when it has been online for sale so I can look wistfully at them in years to come.

5.30-7.30 sounds fucking shit as is... no scope for overnights (Mob-Thirs lodger) and an AMAZING weekend?

Tell is more! What's so great about it?

If it would ruin family life, then it's not your dream house

Just remember that nothing has changed. It's not your house now, and it will continue not to be your house. It doesn't matter who owns it.

And being your dream house means you'll never be stressed when the heating breaks down, or the roof needs replacing or you get bats in the attic and need a very special bat removal specialist. You'll never have that one damp room, and never have the irritation of there only being one wall which will accommodate your dresser. Your dream house will never disappoint you.

Can we see a RM link? :-)

I know what you mean! I watched my dream house go for a song about 10 years ago when I couldn't afford it. 6 months later my financial circumstances had changed totally, but for a variety of complicated reasons, the property's value had leaped too. I'll never be able to afford it now, and I still feel a bit sad about that sometimes. But heigh ho, life goes on!

Surely one requirement for a dream house is that it somehow enhances your whole lifestyle? A house that made our day to day lives more difficult would count as no more than nice to look at for us.

It's not your dream house.

As PickAChew says, it should enhance your life, not make it even harder for DH to have family time. If you genuinely don't see DH's hours changing in the next say 2 years, then keep looking (maybe closer to DH's work?) for your REAL dream house. It'll be there somewhere - work out what the features are that you love about this house, and then keep looking for those in a house that suits your lifestyle.

LTB

Any chance he can wfh sometimes? Or change jobs? Or win the lottery?

There must be something that would make it work?

It may be your idea of a dream house but...
The stress of travelling such a long distance commute for your DH on top of having to work ridiculous long hours does not make that house a dream house for him.
Being under so much continual stress is very bad for his health and putting extra pressure on him is not really very fair.