Ethics of Negotiation

[Nessalina]

So, we're in the amazing position, three weeks after our property going on the market, of having four offers on the table.
The most recent to come in today was for £1k over asking price, from a couple who are currently renting, and have a mortgage agreed, so in a great position. The other offers are quite close together, £5k under, £3k under, and one at asking.
Our agent has recommended we go to 'best & final' offers, and go back to each of the buyers, make them aware that there are other offers, and this being the case, ask them if they wish to increase their offer.
Now later on whilst I'm thinking about this, I don't feel quite right about it somehow. I get why it's a good idea to get the best price, it feels greedy IYSWIM - we've already had a great offer.
I guess the guys who have offered less may have offered more, but wanted to start with a low negotiating offer, I mean no one offers their best price to start with. So it seems fair to give them the option to offer their best if they really love the house. I guess my worry is that it doesn't seem fair to the people that have offered the most... because the other buyers aren't in AS good a position, so even if they keep their offer the same, they will probably be our best bet. And if they offer more, then it sort of feels like they will have been suckered into doing so.
I'm babbling. This negotiation stuff stresses me out a lot. I just want to be as fair as we can be to people

This was a consideration for us and I felt really sorry for the ones who missed out, but at the end of the day we only had one house to sell and the extra £5k we got will make a real difference to us.

Thankfully the highest offer came from first time buyers but if there was only a few grand in it we'd have definitely gone with a slightly lower offer to avoid the stress of a chain and speed everything up a bit. Are you prepared to wait longer/be in a chain for more money in the end? Were you hoping for a quick sale? Do you need to find another house yourselves?

Also I'd just leave as much of the negotiating stuff as possible to the agent. It's their job to get the best price possible and shield you from the unpleasantness of negotiating!

Yes, that's good advice, I guess this is what you pay an EA for. And they're fixed fee, so it's not like they're angling for more for their benefit, they're just following their process.

We need to move and we haven't found somewhere yet, but I'm due a baby in 6 weeks, so we're keen to get the all rolling! People in rented would suit us best so that they're flexible, but I am scared of them seeing something else if we keep them waiting.

In your position I'd just go with the highest offer. If you were happy with the asking price and you want what seem to be the most straightforward buyers then I wouldn't go to best and final unless a few grand more makes a real difference to your onward purchase.

In your position, I would just go with the couple who have offered the most, unless you have any reservations about them. You know the house will sell, so if they start messing you about, just put it back on the market. If you accept their offer and take it off the market, they should be more confident the sale will go through. If you go back and ask them all the submit "best and final" offers, this couple may walk away and offer on something more straightforward.

When we bought our house, we were asked to go best and final. We didn't up the offer at all (we had offered what we were willing to pay), we just reiterated the strong position we were in. We got the house. The agent said we were the lower offer, which I don't believe, but we were hadn't increased it anyway.

I agree that it can feel odd, but it is the fairest way of giving everyone a level playing field. You may not go with the highest offer, but at least everyone has the opportunity to put forward their best offer (which is price and ability to proceed).

I'd go for it.

Well the decision is out of my hands now, I rang to speak to the agent and she's not in today. So I don't know which of the buyers she managed to speak to, so I guess I'll speak to her on Tuesday and see how it went. She was going to say that we'd need best and final offers by Tuesday lunch and I said we'd decide for sure by Tues pm.
I kind of hope the couple who've offered the most don't budge, because I don't think they need to. I feel like it would have been fairer to say to them 'you're the highest bidders, we have to go back to the other parties to give them the option, but we'll only come back to you if you are no longer the top bidder'
I may be overthinking this

Nessalina, the decision isn't out of your hands. You instruct the EA, they are working for you.

I think that going back and forth would have messed people around. 'Best and final' is a fair system: everyone gets to decide what they are willing/able to pay for your house and the outcome is decided pretty much immediately. You shouldn't feel like so,someone might be overpaying either - presumably, they would have seen a few properties and have an idea of the price they consider fair for your house.

Lady It is, in as much as the office is closed until Tuesday! And she was speaking to everyone on Friday afternoon, so chopping and changing what she'd already said may have been more confusing. I would have liked to speak to her today to find out how the conversations had gone, and if she hadn't spoken to the top bidders then potentially change the approach, but if she had already I would have left it I think. As Jo says, I guess I do have to credit the buyers with a bit of market intelligence...

Yes, Brand I maybe need to be a bit more hard headed. I'm 7 months pregnant and a wobbly mess over anything emotional right now Got to separate head from heart!