Just a wobble, or should I list to my gut?

[soundsystem]

We're due to exchange next week on a house that should be our "forever home". I'm waking in the night filled with dread about it, and I'm not sure whether it's just nerves because it's such a big decision (and SO much money) or whether it's really not the right house..

Background: We thought we'd be in our current house for another 10 years, but for a couple of reasons (schools, space) we decided to move. DH not keen on moving, and would have rather of waiting another year or two but with the Brexit uncertainty agreed it made sense to do it now (in case we get stuck if the economy goes pear-shaped and no-one wants to buy our house). Got a really good offer on our place and decided to go for it. Found a house which is in the ideal location, and DH loves, which I was not expecting. Put in an offer and it was accepted, great.

But now I'm having a wobble. I think we've been swayed but how nice and shiny the house is, and would be better going for another house with more space (that we could make look better ourselves). And I just don't love it. I feel like for such a huge amount of money - and if I'm going to live there for the next 30 years - I need to love it.

For it to work for us, we'd need to do a loft conversion. We've already discussed with the new neighbours and one has reservations. I'm not sure I want to go through the hassle and expense of a party wall dispute when we could just buy somewhere that already has enough space.

Part of me wants to pull out because of the loft thing. But most of me thinks I'm being ridiculous and should just get on with it (the house has a lot of positives - obviously, which is why we made an offer in the first place - and if we wait there's no guarantee we'd find somewhere as nice, or sell our place for as much). The stamp duty is such that moving again any time soon won't be an option!

Help!

Hiya
Well I am a firm believer that a new house should give you 'that feeling'
We viewed a few houses, perfect on paper but I just didn't love them
We even put an offer on one
It fell through and I was upset at the time but not heartbroken
Well we went to view a house that really didn't seem much in pictures, wasn't ideal Location but fine (slightly longer commute)
Well after 30 seconds me and my husband both knew this was the house we were going to raise our family, and grow old in
I've never felt so sure of anything in my life
Was shaking the whole way round and forgot to take pictures or ask any questions!

Have you seen any other houses that have more space?
I mean if you're willing to do a loft conversion then you must be ok with sorting general diy etc so would a bigger house that needs work be a better option?

Good luck with whatever you decide x

It's not uncommon to have a wobble (my friend and her husband had such a big one they almost pulled out on the day of exchange!) but if you really think you don't love the property then talk to your husband asap, don't bottle it up.
We're currently buying a house that I didn't even want to view because although it was in the right area it needed a fair bit of refurbing. Instead we found another house that I really, really liked – but never had 'that feeling' about. That purchase fell through, so in desperation (we didn't want to lose our buyer) we went to look at the refurb one – and the second I walked in I fell in love with it! I am SO excited to be buying it, totally see it as our forever home and can't wait to begin work, and my DP and DC are equally bowled over (interestingly, DC was a bit 'meh' about the first house we were buying, but loved this one instantly).
It's surely better to pull out of the sale than dislike living there and spend the next few years thinking you've made a mistake. I hope it works out for you, either way.

I wouldn't let the loft conversion put you off - it sounds as if you will be adding value to the house and the neighbours can't really do much about it - EVERYONE has the loft done and it would be unrealistic of them to think this wouldn't happen in a family house at some point. Location trumps an awful lot of other criteria and, on that basis alone, I'd be keen to get the deal tied up. Try to get your husband to explain what he loves about it and perhaps it will make you remember?

Ive viewed lots and only really loved one. (Went to sealed bids and we didn't get it)

The one we are currently buying didn't give me "that" feeling at all, in all honesty, I was overwhelmed by it but it makes perfect sense for us to buy it as it ticks all but one box.
The last house we offered on I thought I loved it but had nothing but doubts after we offered. We ended up
pulling out.
This one, I don't love it, but, strangely enough, am not having any serious doubts

I am hoping that once we have renovated/decorated and got our furniture in, I will love it well I hope so anyway

Wups, answered the wrong post! Sorry, hope Ive not confused you OP!

It's perfectly normal to have a big wobble over such a large purchase. I'm going to be the flip side of the 'you have to love it' coin. We bought our last house because we fell in love with it and it was a great house for many years but then our dc moved to different secondary schools and started to have different needs (teenagers) and suddenly the house we loved was wrong. We bought our current house because it fitted all the criteria that the other house was failing to meet (transport, accessibility etc). The house itself was awful. Needed renovation and redecorating top to bottom but it was exactly where we wanted to be so we really had to look for the positives. Now it's done and renovated and we love living here and our quality of life has improved, no doubt. The location has made it for us and the house is done exactly how we want it. Even though we LOVED our old house, we wouldn't have been happy there in the long term.

I've always bought houses with my heart but this time it was with my head and dh and I both feel very content and sure we made the right decision, I'm sure in time you will too.

Can I just say, that if this house is meant to be your 'forever' home, and it needs a loft extension to make it what you want, has it occurred to you that, towards the end of your 'forever' you might not want to be trudging up and down so many stairs?

I'm only saying that because 12 years ago, we bought what I thought might be our forever home. I certainly envisaged grandchildren staying with us, and large family Christmases. We are still in the house, still planning for grandchildren visits, even though grandchildren are at least 10 years away, but, seeing my elderly mother struggle to get around our house (it is quirky to say the least and has many many internal steps) has made me realise I probably won't want to be in this house when I am old. I always think that on property shows on tv too: young couples buying 'forever' houses that are clearly unsuitable for elderly people.

Sorry, I have gone on a bit. I can't say whether this house is right for you, but the mention of loft extensions in conjunction with the desire to stay in the house 'forever' just struck me as wrong.

Dumbledoresgirl Fair point! When I say "Forever home" in reality I probably mean "until-the-children-have-left-home-and-we-retire" home. The loft conversion is going to be two children's rooms, so they can have a room each, and we can also have an office/guest room. We're only early 30s so I hope we'd be here for a good 30 years, even if not quite forever!

Thanks, everyone! I'm fairly sure now it was just a wobble. Have had a full nights sleep (Thank you DC2, finally!) and the neighbours are now happy with the loft conversion plan, so feeling much better about it!

Just trying not to get too excited in case something goes wrong at the last minute!

I'm not sure but I'm feeling the same right now.

We're about to exchange and I'm having a wobble.

The house ticks all the boxes, but I don't love it. It's also an older house and I'm nervous about that.