Finally completed on new house and completely overwhelmed with how much there is to do

[Hogterm]

Finally completed after months of delays and have turned up and now feel like crying. House is dirty. Was always going to be a project as needs complete redecoration and an extension to get a decent sized kitchen but the list of jobs is huge and it looks do shabby empty.

A project was a big compromise as have young children and struggle to get basics done in a day. It's also unsafe at the moment as waiting on extra stair gates to be delivered, no bannisters on stairs, etc. Struggling to make progress on unpacking as need to man mark the toddler who appears to think turning on the gas is the best game. It's bigger so need to buy furniture but dh is away for the weekend with the car and we don't have Internet for two weeks apart from mobile data on phone which is running out quick.

Plus children are over excited and not sleeping so not feeling particularly energetic.

Any top tips on where to start? Or positive stories of how it will all be better soon

Zip ties and that stiff plastic netting you can buy in DIY shops/garden centres can help make stair case bannister's safer if you see what I mean ?

My top tip would be to not think about it, just get on with it.

Is there a safe room that the children can sit and watch some tv while you get on with things?

Pick a room that's most important to you, say the kitchen, and give it a good clean before you start unpacking.

Once you've got one room done it will make you feel much better.

But I reiterate, don't think about the long term plans such as the extension yet!

Our house was filthy when we moved in too, and we built an extension to give us a bigger kitchen and extra bedroom. We got there in the end and I absolutely love our house now. I just wish we could pick it up and put it in a field somewhere now.

Prioritise - kids bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen. Do you have family or a friend who can take the children out or look after them whilst you sort things out?

How old is toddler? Is a playpen / travel cot an option?
Agree with pp - choose a priority and get started. It's easy to get overwhelmed but you have to eat the elephant one bite at a time.
No internet may be a good thing if it means you can concentrate on getting things done rather than checking emails / FB / MN! 😀

I cleaned most of the kitchen yesterday but trying to unpack today and as it's so small I can't fit our stuff in so need to figure out if I can store some stuff elsewhere but still access it. Need new furniture for that.

Toddler is 16m. Cries whenever he goes in his cot but at least does nap for a couple of hours. Don't have playpen and probably no shops I can walk to that I can buy one today. No room currently safe. Lounge has a window he can climb up on and open windows. We are trying to find the keys to lock it but no luck so far. Previous owners left so much junk you would think window keys must be somewhere

I feel your pain. We are (hopefully) about to buy a house which needs complete overhaul and I have young children so it's overwhelming.

For the safety issue, shut doors to any rooms you want toddler out of on the floor you're working.

Then until you have stair gates you could build a box barricade. High enough to stop toddler climbing over buy you could probably swing your leg over to get past? Make sure they're heavy or tall boxes?

If you're sleeping there tonight then prioritise getting children's bedrooms straight enough for them to sleep and before bedtime gets near make sure you get their bedtime stuff ready like pj's and toothbrushes so you reduce stress all round.

Then once they're in bed you can do stuff downstairs

ensure you've got comfy beds - go out and play with your toddlers, McDs for lunch and wait to tackle things when your DP is around...

Don't be tempted to unpack everything at once. All China, except day to day stuff, special cooking things, winter clothes etc can wait. Just focus on making the house habital, in the short term.
I agree that after bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen, just make one room cosy as a retreat.
Moving is a huge disruption and to a project is even more so. Gently get to know your new surroundings.

I also feel your pain. I am hoping to complete very soon on a complete wreck, its inhabitable at the moment plus absolutely stinks of urine . My plan is to put everything into storage for a month, myself and my 2 dc will move in with my folks. I HAVE to move in asap as my parents are miles away from dc school so a nightmare. My aim is to get just the bathroom, one bedroom and the lounge liveable then move in. Its going to be grim for a long time (I will move in without a kitchen) but I am hoping to think of the bigger picture and know it will be worth it.....

Have you got any relatives or friends that could have the dc for a few hours or if your other half/you could take them out for a bit to let the other one crack on with the dirty work. Making it clean and safe is your number one priority I think. Good luck its very stressful!

We're in the process of buying a house which needs a lot of work and I'm totally daunted by it and I have no children!
I daren't go back and view again because I don't want to panic and get cold feet!
My idea is to tel myself daily, when moved in, take each day a day at a time and only think about the next job as thinking about the work on a whole would be far too much to mentally cope with!

Good luck, the stress will be worth it!

Right. Brother is going to come and help plumb in washing machine and fit stairs gates. Sister is taking boys out. I will get cleaning. Think you are right. One job at a time.

Not a great weekend for dh to be away but was all booked ages ago unfortunately

We did this! Not criticising your but I made sure my kids were looked after and away from house on moving in day as I knew I wouldn't be able to cope.

Organised deep cleaners, oven cleaners, window cleaners to be at house too and carpet fitters last thing on move in day . We got boys' rooms sorted. Dumped all the rest in spare room and then got lounge sorted.

Essentially Dh and I spent every eve cleaning, stripping old wallpaper, sanding to get it all done. 4 Months later getting there. Even today I am disappearing with kids so he can continue to paint. Don't try and do stuff with kids there unless you are super patient and your kids are a help, not a hindrance.

Good luck.

While your sister has the kids clean like a demon.

Make DS's room as 'familiar' as possible.

Think carefully about buying new furniture, I'd rather do without until it was finished. Less to work around and you can make better choices when each room is finished.

Think carefully about unpacking, I'd only unpack what was necessary until you have a game plan. The more stuff you've unpacked, the harder it is to renovate.

Last of all. Sort as much of the safety stuff out as you can asap (if you can't find a key for the window can your brother put a bit of wood across the corner of the window for now?) ...but other than that, chill out a bit, you're going to be there there a long time, it doesn't all need to be done immediately.

Try to find something about your new house that you love 💐

It's a nightmare when you first move in. When we did I couldn't find space for everything. The removal man said " everything finds a home eventually" and it does. We ended up needing more stuff. It just takes time to work it all out.

Ours is an old listed building. God when all the previous owners stuff was out and it was empty it also looked so shabby. We never intended to do work, I think we didn't see it as we fell in love with the place. But we have spent three years doing it up, step by step and to be honest, the house looks beautiful now. And there is still more to do.

Honestly it's worth it, it's just takes time. Be kind to yourself. Room at a time, do the essentials, everything else store and work your way through.

I'd also say we had stuff in the attic and garage as we couldn't find space when we moved in. Over th next few months it all came out again. It really does all take shape.

I really feel your pain, we've just done this with a 2 year old and a cat, although the cat went to jail the cattery over the actual move and for a few days.

I recommend calling in all possible childcare favours. We had my younger DSis and DBIL down for a few days - DSis took DS out/into the garden out of the way and DBIL helped us with things like assembling furniture, lugging boxes into the loft, putting hooks and stair gates up, etc. It was a lot easier when they were around!

Once they went, it was harder, though I managed to turn the living room round in a few hours when DP took DS out. Helped that the place wasn't filthy either.

Definitely recommend one bite of the elephant at a time - but the first week was the worst for us and then we were halfway to being sorted. Good luck!

I feel your pain. We've just moved but with older kids so luckily we could just stick them in front of the TVs. Biggest nightmares for us was no broadband or phone for weeks (so teenagers not happy) and had to keep all doors and windows shut because no space in cattery for cats.

It will take a few days to get sorted so definitely pull in childcare favours. We tried to stick all the stuff we didn't need into one room to at least give us space to unpack.

Good luck

Don't stress about doing everything at once (except for the essential safety stuff). When I moved I set myself a target to change one thing about the house each day for a month. Some days that was just little things like hang a mirror or picture, or buy a new lampshade. Other days it was bigger things like put up a blind or curtain pole, paint a wall, clean a carpet. All these things massively added up. Also rather than trying to makeover each room (which we couldn't afford at first) I just tried to create little areas which I loved, e.g. A bookcase with my books arranged and nice photos and a plant above. This gave me nice little areas of perfection within the house which I could enjoy looking at rather than focusing on what I disliked! Good luck I'm sure you'll have loads of fun doing everything gradually once the initial overwhelming feel has gone.

Bit at a time. Don't focus on the big picture. Keep going and before you know it you'll see the end in sight.

Good luck 🍷 (and have one of these)