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Original poster

Pulling Out Before Exchange

23 replies

shinywhale · 02/08/2017 20:31

We found a house.

We loved it.

We hated the location; it wasn't bad, there is just nothing there.

We convinced ourself that the commute was do-able, the lack of local primary schools could be resolved by paying for private school and it would be acceptable to board at the local grammar school (as the house is out of the catchment area) from 11+.

The plus points are that the house needs no work, was being sold cheap following divorce and has space for a horse that we don't yet own.

Thing is... it's taken a long time to get to this point (we made an offer in April), and now we're wondering if we would rather buy a house in our local town without the outside space/associated compromises.

We haven't exchanged, but it's close.

We thought it would be completed along time ago. We have been chasing, but the buyers have been dragging their heels and the chain is 7+ (only 2 before us).

We are thinking about pulling out tomorrow.

Are we total and utter arseholes?

Thanks.

OP posts:

Kiwi32 · 02/08/2017 20:35

It's not ideal but you can't buy a house just to avoid being a bit of an arsehole. Make the best of it by making a decision asap and sticking to it. Anyone else in the chain could have done the same to you, it is how it is.

Original poster

shinywhale · 02/08/2017 20:41

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

I do feel terrible.

I would be very angry if we were on the receiving end; it is what it is though.

It's no longer the house for us.

OP posts:

MrsExpo · 02/08/2017 20:41

Sounds like far too many compromises for me, so I'd make the decision and look elsewhere.

SouthPole · 02/08/2017 20:45

Pull out and don't worry about it.

Tell your solicitor to let everyone know and don't answer the phone to the agents.

I'm a conveyancing solicitor for my sins and see this all the time.

Confutatis · 02/08/2017 20:46

Kiwi is right; you can't just proceed with a house purchase just to spare blushes. However you should have got to this stage much earlier. You say you've been in motion since April. The other people in the chain are going to wake up to a nasty surprise tomorrow. They may be seriously out of pocket if the chain breaks, what with surveys and legal costs...

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 02/08/2017 20:49

Pull out although it's a crappy thing to do, you need to think about yourselves first and foremost.

However, your buyers and their buyers may be pissed off at being close to exchange, and now having to wait for you to find something else.

BumWad · 02/08/2017 20:52

You have to do what is right for you.

Pull out.

It's shit on the chain but the house isn't right for you.

Comedyusername · 02/08/2017 20:53

We pulled out just before exchange too - similar situation. Just wasn't right and we couldn't spend that much money on something I knew was the wrong decision.

The sooner you do it the better. Good luck

Comedyusername · 02/08/2017 20:55

Oh and yes, it was horrible and the vendors hated us, but we found a much better house for us and do not regret pulling out for one moment.

KatyBerry · 02/08/2017 20:57

i've done it, after several months of back and forth, and four visits to the property. I am heartily relieved on a regular basis that we don't live in that house. actually we'd probably be in the poor house and bankrupt if we had gone through with it.

wheresmyphone · 02/08/2017 20:59

We have done it too. Must admit I made up some excuse to spare everyone's feelings (husband job change) but you can't buy a house just to please everyone else. Too big a deal!

Bluntness100 · 02/08/2017 20:59

Yes it is a total dick move. To make an offer on a house you're not sure on. You should never ever have let it get to this stage, but you can't buy it because it simoly because you don't want to be seen as arseholes, So yes you need to pull out.

And hope that karma really isn't as much of a bitch as they say and at some point someone doesn't do it to you and cause you to lose your dream house in the chain.

I'd also speak to the agent, there is a chance they will not deal with you again.

wowfudge · 02/08/2017 21:05

It happens. A huge number of chains collapse for various reasons and people changing their minds is one of those reasons. Speaking from bitter experience are you Bluntness? Maybe if the vendors had got a move on, it would have been a done deal before second thoughts took root.

ImNotReallyReal · 02/08/2017 21:10

Buy a house in town near a good primary. Buy a horse and pay for livery. It's cheaper than private school.

I'd never buy a house for a horse I don't even own yet. Are you 'horsey'? Solitary horses can be lonely. I'd never have less than four on my property to avoid others going bonkers if you hack two out, there are still two at home. One alone is a nightmare unless they are very, very placid.

That's just about the horse!

All the rest sounds totally and utterly wrong, pull out and don't waste money on a house you may hate living in. I speak from experience. Not mine but my best friend...she was back in town within 18 months and took a massive hit on stamp duty plus the fact that her house was in a location no one wanted to be in due to lack of schools/long commute. She lost £200k because she didn't pull out.

Next time you make an offer make sure you are serious as you are going to create a complete shit storm for everyone else involved.

Original poster

shinywhale · 02/08/2017 21:37

If it makes us less shitty people; we still plan to sell our house. We will rent whilst we keep our eyes peeled for something better.

OP posts:

ImNotReallyReal · 02/08/2017 22:15

4 months for a chain with 7 people and you think that's slow to get to exchange?

Why waste money on rent? Just pull out and deal with it. Shit happens. Chains collapse all the time.

Just make sure you're certain next time. You've thought about buying a house in a difficult location, how easy do you think it would be to sell on? Check if it's still for sale in six months and see if you feel better then (if it's still on the market). It's easy to like a lovely house in a wrong location. Better pull out now than buy (or move to rent).

Don't sell your current home (unless it's hard to sell or you're making a really good profit), stay put and find the house you really want.

Yes, it's proper shitty, but it's the biggest financial commitment you make in your life. Don't do it to please other people. Life is too short to live somewhere that doesn't meet your needs. Doing that would make you a total arsehole.

Original poster

shinywhale · 02/08/2017 22:22

We have a two bed house and another baby on the way.

Think we would rather just get it sold, and rent something with an extra bedroom. Selling a house is a pain, and we'll be able to strike on our next purchase more easily from our low-investment rental.

OP posts:

SouthPole · 03/08/2017 06:02

Oh yes, I meant to pick you up on your 'since april' comment. That's actually really good going in a chain that size.

The average house purchase in the U.K. Takes 8 - 12 weeks and those are the easy ones.

I bet from when your solicitor actually received the paperwork from the vendor's solicitor it was actually shorter than 4 months.

People say to me "we put the offer in on the 1sr January how come it's taking so long?!" And I'm like yeah? I received the contract pack 3 weeks later...nothing, literally nothing we can do until we get those papers.

OurHouseAtTheEndOfOurStreet · 03/08/2017 06:23

You know you are going to devastate some people this morning with your phone call. BUT it would be utterly ridiculous to spend this much money on something you don't want. Ring sooner rather later. We had buyers who pulled out, came back, pulled out again it was a f*cking nightmare and took a huge toll on me and dh (and by proxy our dc). Just make a clean break, walk away and don't look back and make sure you definitely want a property next time you start the process because being on the receiving end of this is about as much fun as a stick in the eye.

millifiori · 03/08/2017 06:32

It's fine. You're allowed. Much better to temporarily upset some relative strangers than tie yourselves to a mortgage in a house that's not right for you. Especially if you're not ruining your buyers' plans.

heron98 · 03/08/2017 11:04

I've done it too.

Luckily in my case there was no chain and the guy was selling as he lived abroad and it was a rental property he didn't want any more.

But I just had a really bad feeling about it I couldn't shake.

I kept going on jogs past the house to check to see if I liked it.

I just couldn't ignore the doubts.

I was glad that I listened to them.

mokaerisifhija · 03/08/2017 11:11

You can't go through with something as big as a house purchase if it's not the right decision for you. No contracts exchanged yet means no obligation yet.

Going ahead with the sale of your house and renting is a sensible thing to do, so only the top half of the chain collapses.

It's annoying for the people up chain but these things do happen and it's just a risk that everyone has to take when buying and selling houses if they don't happen to have the purchase price of a house in liquid savings.

Original poster

shinywhale · 03/08/2017 21:25

Well, it's done.

Have plenty of letting viewings lined up for the weekend; hopefully we can push on and get our house sold. Then it's just a case of waiting for the right property to emerge.

At least we'll have the space we need for a growing family.

OP posts:

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