Garden advice wanted

[GrubbyWindows]

I am a novice and clueless garden owner.

Currently it has a good brick shed to the right, then very very shabby fence. The other two sides are half height chicken wire fences, falling apart. There are two cement pillars for hanging washing lines (one crumbling), and the remains of weed-proof membrane beds round the sides. The middle is old, lumpy crazy paving. By the house is wooden decking tiles which I actually like, laid on cement, and between that and the crazy paving is about 2metres of bindweed and dandelions.
I'm having a party in two weeks time- what quick fixes can I throw at it???

And- where is good to look for inspiration for stylish but scruffy family gardens??? (The outdoor equivalent of white walls, scuffed floorboards, comfy furniture, lots of books and house plants). Pinterest and instagram keep showing me things which are too glam by half.

To be very honest no garden designer is going to advertise their services by showing a scruffy garden. Most designers like to show something neat and tidy with good planting and landscaping or they might as well not have bothered!

A quick fix isn't really possible because nothing sounds promising really! Replace the fences? Put down a membrane on the dandelion area (de-weed and dig it over first) and cover with gravel? Buy some large pots and plant with grasses for the decking and gravel. Dig over the beds.

Don't spend much time and effort in two weeks because you probably need to spend a lot more time to think about the design to get a decent garden and get rid of the crazy paving. Houzz has Town and small garden ideas.

Thank you! Good point bubbles, re designers.
Ah for the lick-of-paint, something nice on the walls, nice lighting magic of the interior quick fix...

Even fences seems ambitious in two weeks, I feel like I need a much better sense of what I like before choosing them- you are so right in it taking a while to figure that out.

Lots of fairy lights and paper lanterns, and some big pots of this and that might be my limit then...

Are any of the magazines any good for ideas without being too too aspirational?

Have a look at the photos of the Artisan Gardens at Chelsea Flower Show on the website. They are small and often not manicured. Magazines may be useful and there is the BBC Gardeners World Magazine which you can get in a supermarket.

Also see if there are any gardens open near you. They may be large, but often they have private areas which are much smaller. The NGS website may provide ideas. Likewise the RHS website.

Have a big think about what you want in the garden. Seating area, plants that don't take too much effort, veg, play area etc. Use the garden as an extra room. Also garden designers have loads of ideas on their web sites. Crocus is a good website for checking out plant combinations and you can buy all the plants for a scheme. Hope above helps. Also most garden centres stock garden planning books. Have a good look at these because some will be small family gardens. Or good old Amazon!

Have you got time to dig out the dandelions and bind weed? Then put a membrane over it and cover it with bark?

Cover as much as you can with membrane and bark chippings. This can then be lifted containing the bark (for re-use later) when you want to sort your garden properly. For the party, borrow as many pots and planters as possible from family and friends. You can order really cheap coloured tissue paper on line, 500 sheets for a few pounds and make big pompoms/flower like, to hang up all over the place. Cheap fairy lights. Hurricane lamp style holders for big candles, jam jars for tea lights, loads of them. On tables and around the edge of the garden, borrow as many holders as possible. No once will notice that your garden is not yet ready.

Thank you! bubbles I shall get myself to the library for some books- and pick up gardening world.
Thanks mumtea I'm going to give the bindweed plot a bash this weekend- i'm a bit concerned that wood chips will just get spread everywhere though (small children running through it... picking it up and depositing it elsewhere...)
LadyB tissue paper pom-poms! Genius! Blind'em with fairy lights is the way forward I think...

Lights and pots! Modern Gardens magazine has some nice pictures but t'internet has more.

with such a short time, you could use a strimmer (or shears) to hack back the weeds. If you had more time you could use weedkiller twice a year. You can rake the weeds into a pile and call it a compost heap.

Come over to the gardening board, we can help!

Do you have any photos?

Agree with the fairy lights suggestion

Thank you redfairy modern gardens mag looks just the thing!

pigletJohn I shall purchase shears along with big pots at the weekend (and starting my compost heap, heh). I think I'd best build up to a strimmer...

Oooh ginger I didn't realise there is a gardening board, I shall get myself over there. And take a pic in the morning...

Don't rake bindweed into a 'compost heap' bag it and take it to the tip. Otherwise you will just move the bindweed to another area of the garden.