What is the best way for my mum to buy house?

[QueenofBlah]

My mum has lived in family home for over 50 years but now that she is a widow the size of the garden has become overwhelming for her and some of her friends and neighbours have died or moved on so she is feeling isolated. Lives about 1 hour from me. Property worth about £450,000, no mortgage.
A house with small garden has come up for sale in my village which would suit her, £250,000. What would be the best option to secure this?:

• mum do equity release on her house, buy new house and rent out old (not sure if this is allowed). That would give her the option of moving back to family home if she hated new home).

-use mine and mums joint savings of £100,000 to put down deposit. I take out mortgage for the remainder and rent out mums house to pay mortgage. Concerned about risk and legality of doing this. -sell mums house to buy new one. This would be the most sensible option but could take time. Would be stressful for mum to sell home she loves and we would possibly miss out on new house. Has anyone got any experience of doing this and what is the best option?

The most sensible option would be to sell her current house......
Bridging loans are also available but v costly!

If your mum desperately wants to keep the house, what about taking out a buy to let mortgage on the house for 250k to buy the new one then rent the 1st house out?

Goodness more options! I'd forgotten about bridging loans but would probably be too nervous to go down that route. With regards to a btl mortgage, would mum be able to get one as she's over 80?

Does your mum want to move or is this your idea? Why not have a chat with her, if you haven't already, and see if she is interested in viewing the house in your village? If she likes it and can see the advantages of moving that might seal the deal.

I think keeping the old house on is the worst idea. Tenants can be fantastico but even good ones won't keep the garden the way she wants it, will want to change things, it will be never-ending stress. Also potentially expensive if there are gaps in rental. Managing an entire extra house will be more stress thanot what she can't cope with now.

The new house sounds ideal. Take her to see it. But the key decision to move needs to be hers, and that will likely take time so don't be too fixated on this one house.

She won't be able to get a mortgage at 80.
She will probably miss out on this house but if she puts hers on the market at least she is making the mental shift to moving on. If she can't manage the garden at her old house and can't pay someone else to do it then it's time to move on. It needs to be done now as a positive choice, not ten years down the road when she is really forced into it and it is overwhelming for her to pack up and settle elsewhere.

Yes we have discussed and she likes the idea of living near me as it would make her feel more secure and less isolated, however she feels torn at the idea of leaving the family home where the memories are! I am concerned that if she sold her home now she might miss it, but if it were rented out and still technically "hers" it would help her cope with the adjustment.
You are right that we mustn't fixate on this one particular house though, there is nothing unique about it and undoubtedly similar ones will come on the market in my area in future.

Getting involved with a mortgage and being a landlord just seems like a lot of hassle. Who would deal with it all? How would your mum feel about having strangers in her beloved family home. Once you rent it out you have to give up feelings of it being 'yours'. Plus the extra stamp duty.

There is no way I'd rent the house in this situation - absent landlord who doesn't want to let go of their past.

If she has the old home that she can scuttle back to at any time, won't that make her unsettled? She needs to make a decision and go with it. I agree that the tenants will probably stress her out because they won't preserve the house the way she had it, in aspic.
If she keeps the old house and buys the new then she will pay additional SDLT. That will cost £3,750 on a £250k house.
If she sells at £450k, buys at £250k and has savings then she will have a lot of money. Might be an idea to see an IFA.

Talk it through with her and come to a decision. It's horrible having to admit that you are not as young as you once were (I know!) so give her time to come to terms with the idea. Maybe one last horrible winter might convince her? (meanwhile do not enable her - do not do the garden, fix frozen pipes etc)

She will still have the memories, just not the burden of the house. Get photographing the house, and the garden through the different seasons.

Depending on how much space you have & your relationship with her can you research selling her house, (e.g. find out how roughly how popular the size & location are of properties in the condition her house is so you know how long it will take to sell) and then try to work with her to reduce her possessions etc. I have been to see lots of properties that have been owned by the same people for a long time & they tend to be in need of lots of work & clearing. Tying up a sale a purchase could be very stressful to her, sometimes older vendors decide against moving just before exchange as it seems too daunting.

I have friends who have taken out a buy to let mortgage, only trouble is the house they left, they can't find a tenant for, so worrying times. Also, if your mum has live there so long, it may take a lot of money to bring it up to letable standard (I mean with regard to gas/electric safety etc). Not many tenants want the worry of a large garden either.
It will take time, but I would think that selling would be better. The time could be useful in getting her into the mindset of 'moving on'. Could you do a memory book about the house for her? I had a similar situation with my father when my mother died - a large house and garden, and too infirm to maintain it. He refused point blank to move. It was such a worry. He said he was going to shut off a lot of it and live in two rooms! Sadly he died a few months after my mum.

how is the local market? if its bouyant and family sized houses are in short supply theres no reason why she cant sell and buy this one.

Option 3, sell the old one anything else is lunacy other than her staying where she is and getting a gardener/ improving her social life.

The old house is likely to need work anyway before being rented out and if the garden is massive then if tenanted you will need to get a gardener anyway. Why would you give your life savings for a deposit on a house for someone who has assets of half a million? She's an adult and needs to take responsibility for herself.

I think she should sell. Emotionally it can be difficult to move on when you still have an interest in something and she may find it distressing to see tenants treating the house differently. The biggest question I think is whether moving away from the place and people she knows is the right decision. Why not downsize where she is?

Thanks for the sound advice. We've got a lot of thinking to do but hopefully she can make her own mind up to move, I'm sure it will be the best decision in the long run.

Selling is going to be difficult, but watching tenants wreck the house you've loved for 50 years is going to be devastating. Sell up and move on, it's for the best.