Help talk me down - feeling wobbly about house purchase!

[Falcon1]

We're due to exchange any day now and the reality of leaving our lovely home that my babies were born in is starting to really hit me. I actually feel physically sick and wonder whether we're doing the right thing.

The house we're moving to is bigger than our current house, is on a nice quiet street, has a lovely big garden and in an area with great schools. This is why we're moving. But, it is in a very 'naice' area and I'm worried about not fitting in (although it's only 2 miles from where we are now, so not too far from friends). The house needs quite a lot of work (new windows, new kitchen, new bathroom, loft extension) but we won't have the money to do it all right away - it'll be a gradual process. It's a beautiful period house and has the potential to be amazing, but I'm panicking about it all. Also, there are train tracks nearby and the sound of the trains is quite loud. I'm hoping I'll get used to it, but it does make me nervous.

Tell me I'm doing the right thing? My DH is totally sold on in and he has much better vision than me. It's just that it's so much money and I'm terrified of making the wrong decision.

I should add, we live on a busy road at the moment with constant traffic noise. This hasn't really bothered me, so really hoping that I'll get used to the trains!

It sounds lovely.
Few people get through a house purchase without some sort of wobble

Your new house sounds lovely, and something you'll be able to make your own as you do it up. As soon as you unpack all your stuff in it, it will start to feel like home.
I remember lying in bed on the first night in our new house, which felt so enormous after our tiny little flat, and thinking 'I want my little flat back'... Very glad we moved now though, it was time. Trust your instincts that led you to this point and to that house.

If you currently live on a busy road, think of the improvement in air pollution levels once you've moved!

Don't worry about having a wobble, lots of people do, but you'll be taking all those good memories with you rather than leaving them behind.

I totally feel for you - we've just put our beautiful period house on the market (its on a fairly busy road too, so we're looking for a more spacious plot) to hopefully purchase an ugly 70's house (with a HUGE plot) in a village 1 mile up the road.

I found the whole putting the house on the market bit really upsetting - we got married here, had 3 babies here, extended, poured all our love into our current house and its pretty much perfect. And now we're hoping to move and a part of me is distraught about it, even though I know its ultimately the right thing to do and we can make 70's monstrosity really gorgeous too.

I think a wobble is perfectly natural - once your furniture is in the new house, it will instantly feel more homely. 2 miles isn't far at all, 10mins max in the car, if that? The village we're hoping to move to (like I say - 1 mile from current house, but current house is on edge of town) is very lah-di-dah, and I like to think we're going to bring some city cool to the village . Probably not but hey ho! Gather your paint charts, pinterest, interior blogs and throw yourself into planning how gorgeous the new place will be.

ps I like the sound of trains -- they're nowhere near as frequent as road traffic and I like that whole clackety clack noise, its wierdly calming!

Thank you for your replies! I'm probably just being daft and it'll all be fine. Just finding it so hard!

Also sick with anxiety that the housing market is going to crash and we'll have paid far more for the property than it's worth.

Ahhh!

But yes, must remember the reasons we're moving.

But if it crashes your old house will have gone down in price too. It sounds fabulous. So nice to be able to have things exactly as you want them.

You sound just like me.... We're due to exchange soon, on a house about 1.5 miles away (the kids aren't even changing schools) and I keep thinking we're making a mistake! I keep telling the kids that once all our stuff has been moved into the new place, it'll feel just like home. I think I need to start believing that too. We've put loads of effort into making this place lovely and my youngest was born at home, but it's not the greatest of areas. There's no reason why it shouldn't be a good move for us but I'm going to be a mess on move day. No advice at all, but I guess it's normal!

Nice to know I'm not alone Finaguls!

I don't remember house moving being so stressful pre kids. I guess it's the weight of responsibility- it'll be the kids' home for the rest of their childhood and I don't want to get it wrong!

I'm in a similar position so I sympathise - if we could extend our current house then we would but just not a big enough plot. We're moving to a much bigger house but in a slightly less good location (a big no no on mumsnet I know but overall it's right for us!) and the house needs some work so we're not going to feel settled for a while yet. I think the wobbles are mainly due to the drawn out conveyancing process though - everything takes ages, costs money, is stressful and it's hard to focus on the nice house at the end because you don't want to get your heart set on it in case it all falls over! Just trying to get through to exchange then I think we'll feel more positive again - hope you do too!

I completely agree Squirrelonthewheels, our conveyancing has been going on since start of May! It's a really long chain and has been the most ridiculously slow and stressful experience. We've just agreed to move out and be homeless for 4 weeks just so everyone in the chain could agree on a completion date.

We're due to exchange today now. Feeling a bit better about it all - really hoping my doubts are just jitters. Reading back my original post made it clear to me that what we're doing does make sense.

We've been going since April and are also in a long chain so I feel your pain! Good luck with exchange today 😊

Hi Falcon, totally get your wobble! I was just going to post something similar as I'm feeling the same. My situation is slightly different in that I'm moving to a smaller house due to splitting up with my ex after 26 years. Although it's a new start for my young daughter and I, this wasn't in my grand plan of things. It's just scary being the single mortgage holder and all that financial responsibility - can I afford it etc!

So, just be assured that we all wobble about these things but it's onwards and upwards!!

Don't panic! This new home will worm its way into your heart very quickly - you will be able to enjoy the gradual process of upgrading it to your taste. The children will love the garden - and you will soon make friends via the school Mums circuit - and the schools are good.

I can hear trains from my home and love it - there is something romantic about the idea of folk traveling somewhere of into the distance - perhaps I read the Railway Children once too often!

Lots of good luck with your move - I am sure you are doing the right thing. One of our moves was because my OH was too ill to go on working and we had to downsize from a truly lovely home that the children loved (and me too!) and take a step backwards. But we all survived. You are making a step up and gaining loads, so kiss your old home goodbye and enjoy the fond memories and set off into the future to make new ones.

I'm the same! major wobbles. Moving away from kids primary school (opposite me) to an area 10 mins away so will mean driving them to school every day and I've not been driving long.
I like the new house but it needs lots of work - so I'm stressed out a little!

Totally normal to have a big or little wobble.

I think the stress of buying, moving, the change, making such a massive financial commitment pray on peoples minds an awful lot.

Chin up, after 6 months of a year you will LOVE the new house.

Train nose will be fine if you are used to a busy road! I stressed about plane noise when I moved into mine.... can I hear the planes? Nope.

Thank you Blossomdeary, what a lovely post!

Dollygirl - that sounds doubly hard I really sympathise with how scary you must be finding it. I really hope it all goes well for you and your daughter.

Best of luck to everyone else in the same boat. I really had no idea how stressful this would be!

I have lived near train tracks, on busy roads, under London flight paths and can honestly say Train noise was the least invasive. This was next to a busy train station too, it really didn't bother me or did we notice the noise much! New place sounds great, you will be fine. I just moved 300 miles, and had a massive wobble both before and after move but 7 months in, very happy 😊

As PP said, it's good not to live on a busy road due to pollution, road pollution is a massive health concern now (they say the 'new smoking') so good to get kids away from it.

Good luck, moving is stressful but it will be all over soon !

Re train lines. I lived backing onto train lines a while back. At first I thought I'd never get used to the noise but after a while they never even registered. I'm glad you're feeling happier today. It is a wrench but hopefully worth it. I moved out of the home I had my babies in three months ago and I smile everytime I pull into the avenue. I love my new house so much despite it's avocado bathroom suite and 80s flowery borders. We're not rushing into updating; can't afford to for thing. But it's my forever home and I'm taking my time getting everything perfect.

I hope the next few weeks to completion go smoothly for you

That's good to know whereamigoing. I do find train noise less offensive than sirens and motorbikes (which we have now) but it is pretty loud from the new house. Hopefully I'll just get used to zoning it out.

Every change brings a loss.
I'm the worlds worst at this, even changing my old iPad for an all singing all dancing iPad Pro felt like I was taking my old one to the executioners.
Exchanging my old crappy caravan for a much newer, all singing all dancing one. I was just the same.

If you're anything like me, I appreciate where you are coming from.
You will feel the loss.

But, once you settle in and get the jobs done you will make it yours.

Very natural to wobble. I sold mine a couple of years ago, the new house felt so alien to me that I tried selling it 1 year later and move back.

Now 2 years after the move I feel settled and happy. It took time to adjust and there were serious reasons (schools mainly) why we moved. If you are buying for the right reasons, the wobble will pass and everything will be ok in the end.

Thank you all so much for your reassurance. We have literally just exchanged contracts and I'm feeling really good about it. Onto the next chapter of our lives!

(Will probably be a quivering wreck again come move day but hey!)

I could've written your post! We recently sold our 2 bed ex council semi for a large 3 bed 1930's house in a naice area with good schools. Our old house was far from perfect but it was our first owned home and the only house that DS 18 months has lived in. The new house needs work, has ugly textured wallpaper throughout, dated kitchen/bathroom and carpet everywhere! But it has so much potential, is actually a beautiful age and has features e.g. Parquet flooring (under the ugly carpet!), a proper drive and is in a fantastically naice area with good schools. Old house was in a rough area with crap schools!

It still doesn't feel quite like home 2 weeks in, and I sometimes long for my perfectly decorated old living room whilst I'm sat in the textured wallpaper monstrosity with strips of bare plaster following the rewire! But we'll get there, it will be so lovely eventually and I certainly quickly learned to live with plenty of flaws at my old house.

Your house sounds great lookingforadvice. 1930s houses all seem to be so well designed with great proportions.

Congrats on your new home!