I'm a bit pushed for time (juggling a full time job, a toddler and the renovation!) but hopefully the below will help!
For books on the process I can highly recommend the Haynes Home Extension Manual (Ian Alistair Rock) and the Housebuilder's Bible - think it's on the 11th edition - by Mark Brinkley. It's vital to really know the process. We're only using a builder for demolition/foundations. They're lovely guys and very good, but they got the initial measurements wrong for the foundations, wanted to bury an asbestos roof in the ground (we stepped in and organised a free council collection) and weren't going to build the foundations at the correct level. We had to be on the ball to supervise and spot these errors. Good luck with finding a builder though - we got ours thorough CheckaTrade.
Process is as follows. You'll need to work out if you need full planning from the council or permitted development. Either way you'll want some architect's plans ...
Decommission electrics and plumbing to rooms to be demolished, actual demolition, clear the site (massive job!), foundations, oversite (the ground floor between the foundations), build superstructure (load bearing inner walls, e.g. Timber Frame or blocks), external brickwork, roof structure, waterproofing and roof tiles (if you go down the Timber Frame company route they could do the roof), first fix electrics and plumbing (bits you don't see), doors and windows, plasterboard internal walls and ceiling, second fix electrics and plumbing (bits you do see), decorating, e.g. flooring, kitchen installation etc.
Using a Timber Frame company could really help as they'll take on a fair bit of the management for you (structural calculations, design), the frame goes up nice and quickly and is watertight and you're dealing with professionals and architects. Look at the Structural Timber Frame website and have a search for companies/members. We're using Solo Timber Frame based in Sussex who seem very good so far (they're a Which Trusted Trader which is reassuring!). You'll want a company that isn't too far away so they can do a few site visits. Also, you'll need to have an extension big enough for them to take it on. Ours is double storey and around 60 square metres but there's no harm in pinging out an email and seeing if they'll quote.