Mortgage amounts

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Hi, we have sold our house and buying A new one this summer. We are currently looking at mortgages and have so far got it down to £740-760 a month. This seems excessive to me as my last house was £296 a month!

The loan amount will be £172495 over 30yrs. The value of the house is £230000 and we are paying the difference as a deposit.

Is this a lot monthly?

Fixed portable lifetime flexible tracker mortgage of half a percent over the BoE base rate. Interest only. We pay £65 a month on a £100k mortgage and even at £65 we are overpaying. We throw all spare money at a tax free higher interest account.. Some months it's nothing and some months it's considerably more. We are on track to pay it off early.

We're in the process of moving and brokers got much better deals than direct so shop around for your broker! We go 3 working on deals they could get us and compared it with going directly to nationwide.

Why would anyone have to go through a broker unless you had unusual circumstances which would mean higher risk and therefore higher rates available?

I know this is a mortgage question, but why are there months where you have to pay all the bills because your husband is going away with the lads?

@m0therofdragons because we are buying a new build through Bellway and using their express move service. Their aim is that the process takes six weeks from start to finish and that means we have to go through their assigned services to get everything complete. The house sold just under two weeks ago and we have:

• had surveys completed (ours on the new build and the buyer on ours)
• had all our appliances tested and certified
• completed introduction and key information on the house, development and legalities.
• accepted incentives and chosen our additional options (£500 legal fees, full front and rear turf, full flooring throughout, full appliances throughout, upgraded kitchen and bathrooms, blinds throughout, additional landscaping)
• completed all solicitors fees and instruction for buying the property
• completed a deed of trust between the two of us
• started mediation and agreement of terms
• completed medical assessments for life, critical illness and payment insurance
• her mortgage is now in place
• our mortgage application has been accepted and paid for and is now being set up.

@Sorka because it's one foreign holiday a year they do and sometimes it's expensive. Part of our legal agreement says this should come from savings but he'll forget and book last minute saying he'll pay me back. Due to the deposit for the house we no longer have savings and have to start again so at first it's going to be completely reliant on incomes. We only were able to buy the house based on me agreeing to a mortgage. My credit is near perfect but his is less so.

I don't understand how you can afford this.
If there are months already on your smaller mortgage that you are struggling it's a bad idea to increase this.

What is the size of your mortgage currently?

It's not a case of 'is this a normal size mortgage' - it sounds normal for that size of mortgage required.

But it sounds like that's quite a high price where you live vs rental value from what you have said. You pay a premium for new build, if you had to sell it you may not make your money back on it. I'd say you shouldn't go ahead with this purchase on those figures (and I'm surprised you can get a mortgage agreed for it).

I don't understand about a legal agreement to say husband can have a holiday a year. But if one holiday a year means you are struggling to pay bills, you can't afford to be doubling your mortgage...

Our current mortgage is for £140000 (£139 something but rounded up) and we will get £37500 above that from the sale of this house that goes towards the deposit as well as savings.

We have a legal agreement because I wouldn't enter into the mortgage without him signing a deed of trust saying that the savings amount in the house is mine. It's my savings I have put forward because he has none and they need protecting. The agreement also states that all his salary gets paid into an account we both have equal access to and I have control of all household expenditure. It does not state that he is allowed holidays away but in the next 12minths he has friends who are organising them and he would like to go. One of which is a "family" holiday with his brothers and another is during school holidays and is more expensive because of the timing (2 of his friends are teachers£. It just means a tight month and one in which I can't pay myself into savings because my income will be consumed by bills etc.

This has nothing to do with my question and is why I didn't include it.

My husband and I don't currently live together and will only do so when we move to the new property. He has however attended all appointments on time and without question, followed all instruction and is trying hard to be supportive.

That looks like an incredibly high rate to me! We've just switched our mortgage rate to a 2 year fix and our rate is 1.14%.
I just had a quick search for 75% ltv rates for 5 years and the first one that comes up is 1.83% at the Yorkshire building society. Why is the broker suggesting such a poor deal to you? You need to question them on that.

Can you extend the term. It's s big chunk of your pay.

Your DH's approach to his holidays is extraordinary

I think the bigger issue is your partners attitude to the money and the fact you need a contract as to what will happen. Does he have a history of poor money manAgement? I would not be comfortable when some months there will only be an £250 difference between money coming in and the mortgage. That is in no way enough to cover everything. Is the high interest rate linked to a poor credit score on his part?

Op

I've read your other thread. So it is all back on again and you are already worrying about paying the mortgage when he spends all his income on his lads holidays? What happened about his £30k secret debt? Is that now sorted?

@Toomanycats99 it's apparently because there's only certain companies the broker works with (read that as certain commissions) and the ones he has looked at are the ones that have very low early exit fees and set up costs (I currently can't afford some of them that have over £3000 in set up costs).

He does have a history of bad choices with money. When he starts getting low he looks for a credit card or loan to get more money whereas I look to see what we can save on and how to reduce outgoings. He has shown a lot of new supportive features though over the last week and has agreed to me having complete control of the finances and being allowed full access to outgoings. I'm not a monster so he will still be allowed to spend what he wants as long as all household costs are covered. I will actually be working two jobs at various points over the year and that money I am putting into a private account separate to the rest so we can have some security for the future that my son and I need. Whilst right now my son has not cost us more than the price of his birth certificate I know he will start costing money in the future and I want to be ready. He's an only child too (and will remain that way) so we will be fine. My extra income works out about £6k a year estimated after tax so whilst it's not much I'll also add spare money to it as and when I can.

@LittleBearPad due to our age I don't think we can get longer than 30yrs. I know it's a big chunk of my wages but that's worst case scenario and hopefully there will be enough money left over in previous months that we can afford it. I have been on holiday this year already at a family wedding so that's me done anyway.

@Mumoftwoyoungkids it's not all back on. We are living apart but we have to complete mediation as my solicitor has looked into the situation and has said there are no legal grounds for divorce. He has agreed to all terms of our legal arrangement financially and personally and I have been advised that the only way to get a divorce would be if I left him and we remained separated for a sustained period. This would be me in fault though and would make things complicated. His debt is being paid by parents and under the agreement he has no credit cards or loans again (except the mortgage that is). The house is sold and almost complete so we have a choice of getting on or facing serious financial loss.

If you were considering a divorce (which it sounds like) then I don't understand why you would further complicate things with a new house?

I also think the house sounds unaffordable based on income to outgoings.

OP how old is your baby that they've yet to "cost" anything? My DS is 9 months and despite people being incredibly generous with clothes and things when he was born I still have outgoings for him in respect of food, nappies, toiletries etc all of which are unavoidable. That's not counting the cost of nursery/playgroups if you need it), replacement clothes and toys

Based on the additional comments I don't think a joint mortgage is a good idea. Why can you not stay where you are living now you and your son. Far more security. A week is no way long enough to be a changed person.

Huh???

Surely you could divorce him on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. What with expecting you to live off your savings whilst you cared for a very small baby, getting into secret debt, expecting you to do everything in the house etc.

Quick Google gives this an example of unreasonable behaviour:-

"The Respondent is financially irresponsible, and has failed to maintain the Petitioner and/or the children properly during the marriage."

But even if you can't divorce surely you could become legally separated and get on with your separate lives?

Do you love him and want to be with him? That is a good reason to stay with him. "Getting divorced is complicated" really isn't - especially when you currently live separately - it's a lot less complicated than for a couple who then have to share a home for months whilst waiting for a house to sell.

@namechangeforholiday he's 2 and a half nearly. All his clothes are either gifts, hand me downs or swaps just like mine (except his coming home hat), I was gifted 35 btp size and 10 newborn size nappies and two packs of wipes when he was born and they lasted us till now when he uses the toilet instead. He has never had a pram or buggy, never needed a cot or bed as he's still too young, his toys are all shared, gifts or swaps and so constantly new things to play with. He's mainly into his beach combing recently though so the house is full of rocks and shells.

We cannot stay where we are as the house has been sold. We will be moving into the new one on the last Friday of august.

Yes I do love him. I can't or couldn't keep living with him but I do love him. They found no evidence of inappropriate behaviour as he is hardworking, pays the mortgage and bills butnis just bad at managing finances. As he has agreed to let me do that, got rid of his debts and agreed to relationship support it's all positive to them. If I leave him that's my misconduct as I have no grounds for it with him working so hard to make it work.

@namechangeforholiday he's 2 and a half nearly. All his clothes are either gifts, hand me downs or swaps just like mine (except his coming home hat), I was gifted 35 btp size and 10 newborn size nappies and two packs of wipes when he was born and they lasted us till now when he uses the toilet instead. He has never had a pram or buggy, never needed a cot or bed as he's still too young, his toys are all shared, gifts or swaps and so constantly new things to play with. He's mainly into his beach combing recently though so the house is full of rocks and shells.

Does he not eat? How did you take him on holiday without paying for a passport? How did you get him on holiday without paying for a seat for him as he is over two? Do you never take him swimming / to soft play / to rhyme time / to gymnastics class / out for lunch?

The main cost of kids though is the fact that usually either one of you can't work / has to cut down on work or you have to pay for (expensive) childcare. Do you have very helpful families who look after him full time?

Much as I admire your frugality, and I do agree it is good to use second hand where possible, I have to admit I find it rather depressing. Have you never walked past a toy / book in a shop that you just know he would absolutely love and wanted to buy it for him?

If there is enough money for your partner to go on lads holidays then surely there is enough money for a little train or a book about monkeys?

@Mumoftwoyoungkids hesnony been on holiday once and that was for a family wedding so my parents paid for him as their "free child place" and bought his passport. I do sometimes want to buy him something and would love to. He gets enough though and a lot of the clothes he gets given as hand me downs are brand new with the tags because they've been forgotten or don't fit the bigger boys. As for toys he's hot lots of toys and he loses interest very quickly in favour of running around outside and getting muddy. He has yet to ask for a specific toy and so I have the luxury of being able to save up for when he does in the future.

We do go swimming yes but that's still on the toddle to fitness scheme so doesn't cost till he's three and we also go to the beach a lot. His classes and playgroups are just Mum run groups and don't cost anything except a voluntary donation of toys, food, etc instead of money. I was lucky enough to join a fantastic group of mums and we all live very cheaply. Our parents and family and friends help with childcare on the basis that I reciprocate and take the other kids when I'm off work.

I'm honestly not a great one for eating out. I like to home cook everything so I can see what is in it and know what I am eating. No one cooks for me and that's how I feel most comfortable. I had a time where I was force fed and since then I have had the control. My son does eat but we have yet to need an increase to the family expenditure to incorporate him. Again though this will change I know especially when he is weaned and when he starts school after Christmas.

Anyway the question I posed has been answered and I am finished now. Thank you all again.

Jeez, looking at your other threads you are getting yourself in deep - flaky partner, big mortgage payments on your salary, working P/T and paying a child minder, and TTC?

@RandomlyGenerated we are not having any more children. We were ttc for the last couple of years but it hasn't worked and we are not going to continue for many many reasons. He's admitted to our therapist he loves us both but doesn't know what is expected of him or how to make us happy so it all just goes wrong. He's literally just immature and to proud to ask for help. Our childminder was only one day a week and it was going to be £18 a day but she's just found out she's 25 weeks pregnant and so won't be taking him in September. This means we have to rely on grandparents for a term to fill in the blanks till January when he starts school full time and I can work full time. Also we are currently looking at changing his school so he'll actually start In September as the local public school offers achievement places to 2yr olds who can pass their eyfs test. He's passed the test already so just waiting for the interviews. Luckily I met a lady in JL who suggested it as she sends all her kids to a different public school for free using this process. It means year on year passing exams but he's started and doesn't have to stay there.

One problem our therapist has brought up is that he's been very protected growing up to the point t where he's not had to experience things like going without, saving up, compromising. he's always had everything given to him, bought for him, done for him and never had to make the tough choices. On the other hand I have always done this and it's now become a way of life that I am uncomfortable outside of. I hate owing people, hate being given things unless I have something to give in return and generally like having control and security. My credit score came out as 936 and my full report was spotless. I've invested in good life insurance, critical illness and mortgage repayment protection. I have to think about decisions and ask advice rather than just jump into things.

He's willing to change and has started so to everyone we meet he's lovely and just misguided. He's immature but his heart is in the right place my legal advisor has said. He's shown no evidence of unreasonable behaviour, abuse or grounds for divorce and a separation would be my choice not his and therefore I am at fault for the relationship ending. I do love him and don't regret having our baby. Just I think he came at the wrong time and we should have been together longer than e were before he arrived.

His heart might be in the right place, but I do think financially you need to protect your and your son's interests - your own savings account would be prudent.

I have set up my own savings account and it's accessible only to me for withdrawals. My extra income will go into it and any spare money from birthdays etc too. My son also has a bank account that his money will go into from birthdays etc and that's his start in life when he wants his own house and needs a deposit. So far he has about £3400 I have saved for him. Mine will have to start again as I have used it as a deposit however half will be paid back to me by arrangement so shouldn't be too bad if all goes to plan.

I've arranged for him to see anger management and I've arranged for him to speak to an independent financial advisor. As much as I hate it I have had to take over for a while. When he sees how much we can have though he'll get on board.

When he sees how much we can have though he'll get on board

Your blind optimism is somewhat concerning.

I'm obviously missing a lot of back story from your previous threads, but even if you were unable to divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour there are other options if one of you is willing to walk away from the relationship. You can separate and divorce after 2 years if he agrees or after 5, even if he opposes it. A successful marriage takes more than just a nice house to live in.

Well if we separated for two years he wouldn't agree to a divorce and if we separated for five he would still fight me every step of the way. The point is we have ways to make it work and we have options going forward. It's not blind optimism its terms and conditions.

What it also comes down to is there's no reason to disrupt our son. He lives in a happy household and not a bad word is said to the other in his presence. I would never forgive myself if I permanently separated from my husband and he had to suffer going through new partners that wouldn't love him properly or being left out of things and picked on because his parents weren't together. It's horrible being that child and you end up losing both parents. I don't want that. Besides the three of us love each other just we need to work out how to function as a family and that means dh learning to think sensibly about the family and not being impulsive and me trying to understand how I can help him do this. It's why we have mediation and why we have found him help.