Where would you choose - Cambridge, Bath, Bristol or Tun Wells?

[solomonrulesok]

Looking at different options to maybe move from where we currently are. I'm miserable here. Not quite sure why but combination of factors including provincial, conservative, dull, dull, dull. It's all very naice and safe for kids but I'm so bored I want to chop my arm off. I haven't really met any like mindedeople either but that could be down to the fact I'm a miserable fucker at the moment.
Anyway, looking at larger towns and cities that might work (also looking at moving back to London but that's another thread)
Cambridge - nearer to my parents. Commute to London just about doable part time for me and four days for DH. Possibility of me changing jobs as lots of jobs in my sector up there. Visited for a weekend and enjoyed it. Don't know anyone there at all. Expensive.
Bath - nearer to in laws. Enjoyed it on a visit. V pretty. Seems great for kids. But possibly a bit poncey? V expensive. Not sure I could commute to London but DH may be able to but stay up for three nights. Know one friend here plus sil close by.
Bristol- more my scene and in laws here. Could possibly get work in my sector. DH would have to live away a bit though. Bit grotty for kids? Schools bad? Could possibly afford private at secondary but resent paying at primary.
Tun Wells - have friends near but no family. Smaller (too small? Provincial?) bit poncey? Commutable. Primaries don't seem that good. Great grammars. More familiar to me as grew up in rural East Kent though West Kent feels quite different and my parents are not there anymore anyway.
What do you folk reckon?
Basically we have kids, will go to state primary but possibly private secondary if state options not brilliant. love cities but also love wilderness and getting muddy! Adore London but think may not be best option at this point in life. I'm a bit green, like cafe culture, culture, art, parks and stuff going on. Architecture. A vibe. But also love big open spaces, the seaside, the hills etc.

I like Bristol and Cambridge. Bristol bit rougher round the edges which could be a draw or turn you off. It feels a bit more sprawling too, in both cases I'd check public transport from areas you'd like to live in because it can easily be an hour in on the bus from the edges.

I grew up in Cambridge and agree the students and tourists can be a bit much but if you are local you get used to it and where to avoid/when. Also the traffic is horrendous year round.

The flipside is the entertainment is really good. Lots of cafes/bars. Love the corn exchange, and the open air shakespeare festival is just coming up.

You would prob enjoy all no "wrong" answere.

Fwiw Bath is not provincial. It is rescued as international tourist destination and the fact a large number of its inhabitants dfl (down from London). Us and our entire friendship group are so you avoid the "we've always lived here and don't want any new friends" nonsense you can get in other Somerset towns.
Lots going on culturally because of this.

Bristol lively but we avoided due to secondary schools good in Bath more ahem issues Bristol.

I have lived in Bristol and Cambridge and know Bath. I don't know anything about TW. But what I do know, is that these places are great, I enjoyed them all. But I really don't think they are going to provide what you
Want, because you are coming from London. I think you will find them too quiet, too provincial, too conservative. Even Bristol which is the most arty and diverse of the 3 I know.

Maybe consider something else entirely? Moving out to outer London - Twickenham or Hampton , or somewhere similar, and then going back into London socially a lot?

Bath or Cambridge for sure.

I didn't know Bath had a huge hidden drugs problem!

Further to my earlier post, although I live in TW now, I grew up near Bath and spent many a Saturday exeat there - and my brother lives in Bristol. Cambridge, I have visted on many occasions for work and so know all of the cities in varying depth.

I think it depends on YOU - if you are bored where you are, why do you think that you won't be somewhere else - especiallly as all of those places have the propensity to be stuffed full of conservative (small c notice), middle class, provincial people and you yourself have said you are bored by because it's "provincial, safe, naice' etc...... !! Every town/city has good and bad bits, nice and not so nice bits, kind and not so kind people, and you have to search for like minded people wherever you are (although before we moved here we lived in SW London (OK), and then moved very briefly to Surrey and I absolutely hated it - couldn't get out of there fast enough!)

Love the idea that there is "a huge hidden drugs problem" in Bath. Of course there are drugs everywhere, in every town and village in the country. It's not a secret! And not location specific.

Bath has a bigger 'hidden' problem - speaking from a public health point of view - with middle age alcohol than it does with drugs.

In my experience public health/substance abuse workers in the area are far more concerned about the injecting hub of Bristol, and the growth of crack there. It's not a reason to avoid living in Bristol, more an underlining of the fact that it is a real city, even though it's quite small.

I no longer live in Bristol, so I'm not entirely up-to-date. It's a really great place, as long as your kids can get into a decent secondary! That did cause my friends a lot of grief.

There are also very good state secondaries in Chew Magna (a naice large village south of Bristol, in beautiful countryside) and in Keynsham (a not very exciting but growing town midway between Bristol & Bath).

I've still got lots of friends with kids at school in Bath. They speak highly of a choice of good mixed and single sex state secondaries, and good indies, some snobby, some not. House prices are high for the area but don't compare with London.

Both cities have loads of festivals covering all aspects of culture. Lots of music of all types, some great theatre and surprisingly good art.

You can go out in London after work and still get home at night. That's a plus.

Bristol

Bath is beautiful, I really love it has the feel of a 'village city', surrounded by green but a very vibrant centre.

Bristol, great parts and rubbish parts, bigger than Bath.

Tunbridge Wells, I have family there but as my relative has suits of armour in the house and a pool in the garden it may not be wholly representative of the entire place 😂

Hmm no easy answers! Thanks everyone. Food for thought...
I wonder if I'd struggle if DH was away 2-3 nights a week. Probably....
His job is set to stay in central London.

Definitely not anywhere in Somerset, Cambridge and Tunbridge Wells are nice.

How about Oxford? Bigger than Cambridge, more urban and edgy in parts but also beautiful and with a lot going on culturally and some great state and private schools. Houses are a tad cheaper than in Cambridge and the surrounding countryside is beautiful. I've lived in both places and prefer Oxford. Both town centres can be tourist hell holes in summer but can be easily avoided.

Irritated is that because of commute or you don't like Somerset?

Hi OP. Been musing on your question for a couple of days after posting a couple of days ago. Really really really think through the work thing first. It will really effect family life. There are some fab out of London places, cheaper too. But, if one of you is stuck back at base it can be tough. My partner works away. It has it upsides but I am always on duty at home, it's always down to me with the kids. It is tough. Think hard before you decide where.

Where are you now? And where/how often do you or your partner need to commute?

I live in Bristol. It's great for kids. Always something going on. Very Urban but minutes from the countryside.

I live around the 'dodgy edges' pp have referred too. I virtually live on the border of North Somerset and BANES. My kids went to a good primary and did well (although many men's would run screaming from it I suspect).
Bristol secondary schools have vastly improved in recent years. Go and look at some data. My dd goes to secondary near Chew Magna. I didn't actually get her into our Bristol secondary as it was oversubscribed. I'm glad though, the school we have is great.

I love Bath for visit. It's so near Bristol. It's lovely but as a teenager/younger person I would definitely preferred Bristol.

Men's? Sorry meant mumsnetters.

wheres am touched you took the time to think about my post. Thank you. Very kind!

I think that would be a problem. I feel isolated now and we are only in commuter belt. My DH would def have to stay away a few nights and o wonder if I'd miss the link to London too tbh. We thought it might work as have family connections nearby in these places (with exception of TW, just more familiar with Kent as an area) though Cambridge would stilll be 45 min drive from my family. No easy answer!!
Thanks for all the comments so far. Lots of things to think about....

Is your current isolation just because of DH not being around a lot or more to do with not fitting in and finding like-minded people in your area?

You might find that by moving somewhere like Bristol, for example, where there are likely to be more people on your wavelength, you would be able to build a better social network and feel less isolated even if your DH was still not around a lot. Particularly if you have family babysitters and support to hand - do you get on with your in-laws, and would they be likely to help out with childcare occasionally?

I agree with exexpat. You can be less isolated in less commutery places.

A vote for Bristol from me.