Architect dilemma

[lena11is]

Hi, I am new to this forum though I have been reading it avidly for a few months now, wealth of information!
We are in the early stages of a 2storey extension, so far I met with 2 architects and 1 builder.

At what stage do you actually make a decision which architect you are going to work with without it being a problem?

The first architect I met is great, I think, but I haven't met the builder he normally works with and haven't seen his work. This architect is also a bit vague on his fee and what his work would involve. I have a feeling he is expecting to project manage the entire build while I only need him to deal with the PP process. He quoted an hourly rate but that doesn't give me any idea of what a final figure is going to be. He already went to the PP office and spoke with a structural engineer. It was a bit premature in my view as we agreed to get in touch before he starts the process. He didn't get in touch with me for a few weeks after our initial meeting although he said he would contact me in 10 days time. When I emailed him 3 weeks later he responded immediately detailing what he's done so far (meeting with PP officer etc). I feel a bit blindsided by this as I expected to have one more meeting with him before we initiate the process. I feel as if we are on different pages - he thinks he's got the job whether I am still in the selection process.

The second architect was recommended by the builder my neighbours used. I've seen this builder's work, the neighbours were very happy to recommend him, had only praise for him. I met the builder, he seemed very straight forward, no nonsense kind of guy. I liked him a lot, I can see myself working with him. He recommended an architect he sometimes works with. When the second architect came to the house, we immediately felt he was on the same wave length with us, really good communication, emailed me with detailed proposal outlining each stage, explained his fee and what it would cover. Very detailed, very clear.
My gut feeling is to go with this architect as he comes with the builder, whose work I've seen and liked. I also feel I am more in charge of my project with the 2nd architect.

My question is when and how do I tell the first architect that I prefer someone else?
Thank you so much for reading this very long and confused post. Please share your thoughts on the situation as I am getting worried that I have 2 architects to do 1 project.

Simple really - email or write to architect 1 asap and say 'dear architect, thank you for your input on our upcoming project, however we have decided to use another company in this instance. Thanks and regards, non-customer'. Less is more, don't offer reasons/excuses. He may reply to ask you why you have chosen another company over him - that's quite common in businesses trying to understand how they can improve - you can either ignore or say that you felt uncomfortable with the lack of clarity over his/her pricing/timescales. DO NOT accept any nonsense about his costs incurred so far, he cannot charge you if you haven't agreed that he is undertaking the work for you, officially, in short don't take any shit!

As above.
In the nicest possible way, you need to toughen up.
Cause if you go into a building project having difficulty being clear with people, you're going to be difficult to work with, and almost certainly not end up with what you quite wanted.
In the best of builds, there are going to be differences of opinion, different ways of looking at things.You have to deal with this. Be clear, unless you want to end up going with someone else's assumptions.

iknowimcoming, thank you for your thoughts!
I have a feeling that I should pay something as he did do some work (went to 2 meeting). No idea how much he is going to charge me for that.

DancingLedge, I think you are right, I need to toughen up :) I hate saying 'no' to people. Very hard. And in this circumstances it is worse, as the first architect was recommended by my FIL.

No you don't need to pay him if he didn't agree costs and/or you haven't officially said he was appointed - he could make up anything! In that sort of business it's expected for people to do some initial work to give you an idea of his abilities - otherwise you could sign up any old idiot. It's expected that they will 'waste' some time on business that doesn't come to fruition- that's life! Plus if he genuinely did work on your behalf over and above a few phone calls (which I very much doubt) he's a idiot not to have been clear on his pricing upfront and won't stay in business for long that way! Honestly it sounds like this man has seen you as a pushover and is taking advantage. The fact that your fil recommended him makes no difference. Put a stop to it now or by the time you get to building your extension you'll have no money left!

iknowimcoming , thank you for your thoughts on this situation, I really appreciate it. During our initial meeting I didn't indicate that I am going to see another architect, I am afraid he might have assumed that this job is his. We discussed the next stages - going to see the planning officer etc. However, I expected him (and he promised) to get in touch with me one more time before we proceed. That didn't happened and perhaps this is the main reason for my annoyance with him.

Sorry to be bossy but he shouldn't have assumed anything regardless of whether you told him you were talking to other architects or not, if anything he should have assumed you would talk to other people. Certainly do not offer to pay this man anything and I'd strongly question his business practises if he asks for any payment. Good luck with it all.