TomHaverford's DH here:
Thanks everyone for the replies. A little input from me:
I think the initial assessment of the houses was incomplete so-
House 1 agree with everything above but in addition:
- TomH would get a new job locally as she is able to transfer around like that. Her commute to work would probably be around 15 minutes driving, but as she already drives both to and from work and for work, this is really no different to our current situation. She works PT so ideally being able to move to 2 12-hour shifts rather than 3 8-hour days would be a good move as well.
- My current commute is 1 hour door to door. From house 1 it would still be commutable (no cost of additional car) and I get free transport on the tube/overground so no cost either, and the time would be about 1 hour and 10 minutes. So in reality it would be no different to my current commute
- Close to good schools doesn't do it justice - we would have a 5 minute walk as the school run.
- Having my SIL live with us is the reason that House 1 would require such extensive works - in order to give her some privacy and some independence we would try and create a ground floor apartment with her own ensuite and bedroom and living room, sharing the kitchen. House 1 is currently setup for this to be achieved relatively easily. She is not particularly mobile so while she can get up and down stairs slowly it would be preferable if she didn't have to. It would also mean we could have some privacy by having our own space too.
- House 1 is approximately 50k less than House 2, however the cost of works would negate this.
- House 1 is large, but not so massive that it would be a huge difference in terms of the maintenance required as what I have to do now. I would be doing more, but it's not an 'every weekend' sort of thing.
- House 1 the vendors do not want to move straight away - we would probably be looking at least a 6 month wait before we could complete.
As for House 2:
- TomH would probably work in the same place as she would for House 1 but her commute would be increased by about 5 minutes, so not massively different for her.
- My commute would be about an hour and 45 minutes. As I routinely have shifts that start at 7am this would mean I would have to begin my commute around 5am. Moreover, the nearest station that I get free travel from is 2.5 miles (thus the 45 minute walk, but on A-roads, a 5 minute drive), where as the nearest station is about 1.5 miles. Not massively unsustainable, but a 30 minute walk at 5am is not welcome. It also means the cost of a N/R ticket which runs to several thousands/year. In effect this is not really a viable commute - if I got a car I could drive to work and it would take about 50 minutes, especially as I work shifts I would be driving outside high-traffic times. However this is an additional £300/month once you factor in fuel/ insurance/ maintenance/depreciation.
- There will be a LOT more house maintenance involved (i'd need a ride-on-mower to start).
- Living space for SIL is a bit tricky - there would be much more space for her, however there would not be stair-less space for her. She would have some small flights of stairs (around 4 or 5 steps) for her to have her own space. This would, however, be massively more than she would get in House 1, just a little less accessible. It isn't suitable to reconfigure so if it became desperate we'd probably have to build her an annex in the 1-acre block.
- House 2 is grade II listed with all that that entails - which means no double glazing, no insulation etc. We would probably be looking at approximately £300/month for gas/electricity to keep a house like that warm. House 1 by comparison is a normal modern house that we can insulate so we're talking a more normal £120-150/month.
My conclusions are that House 1 is the sensible move. For things like the school run, and convenience, it's far superior. Moreover, That said, there's a lot that needs doing, it would take at least 6 months of construction to be ready. Which means with the 6 months to wait for completion, we wouldn't be moving until this time next year. It's a large house, and we would like to have more DC so they would mostly have their own rooms, or at least would be sharing but in rooms the size of our current master bedroom, so plenty of space.
House 2 is beautiful. Really, just stunningly beautiful. You look out the back window and the 225' yard backs on to green belt land. There is space there that is really unparalleled by anything I have lived in. I grew up in Australia and lived most of my early life on a 1/4 acre block and that was great, but this is just amazing. The house is beautiful, centuries old with the 'newest' section being added nearly 2 centuries ago. The whole House has been completely redone; repointed, re plumbed, re wired, re plastered, re carpeted, everything. It's in as good a condition as a house like this can possibly be. It allows for more of a rural life; TomH is excited to have a vegetable patch that could actually sustain our family, she also wants alpacas (although i'm not convinced by that).
We can also move in to House 2 immediately - this means getting out of our current house which isn't a bad house but is too small, especially with SIL living with us. Also, all bedrooms being up stairs is a problem for her, and only 1 bathroom. I forgot to mention that House 2 has 5 bathrooms, 3 of which are ensuites. House 1 also currently has 2 bathrooms, and would become 3 by the time we've finished the downstairs works.
House 2 is certainly going to cost more on a monthly basis - approximately £500/month extra once the additional car, listed buildings insurance, heating, etc. are all included. Although that's probably a bit high, as once we have more children we'd need a second car anyway, so call it an additional £200/month. What can I say - I want House 2 but I am worried about things like shops being a drive (TomH is a big one for running to the shops each day), and the school run being a drive. If I'm starting work on a late shift then it's not an issue, but if I've left for work at 6am, then it puts all the pressure of early morning school runs on TomH. This is some time away, but that doesn't mean it doesn't need to be considered. All of this potentially adds up to more pressure and we are both very much laid-back and prefer things to be as low pressure as possible.
Anyway, that's my mega-post and hopefully if you want to give feedback gives you the other half of the story (i am NOT panicking about living rurally! I just want to make sure the cons are appropriately considered!)