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Original poster

Do I need to pay exDP back?

19 replies

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 16:40

Hello all,

Hoping someone on the board might have some experience of this.

My ex and I own a house together 60/40 respectively. We moved out three years ago and have a tenant in, and split up two years ago. I'm the process of trying to buy him out of his share with my new DP, although he's saying what we're offering isn't enough so we may end up just selling it.

One sticking point is he's on at me to repay the amount he's spent on the ground rent and management fees and the new kitchen and bathroom we had installed when we lived there together about 4 years ago.

I don't necessarily mind paying back half the ground rent and management fee since we split up by paying a small amount per month (i couldn't afford to at the time and he earns about three times what I do) but i don't know about the kitchen and bathroom....He never said at the time that i would have to pay it back if we broke up. We were engaged so I never really thought about it to be honest.

Should I pay him back do you all think?

OP posts:

wowfudge · 28/03/2017 18:40

Yes - but in proportion or a percentage of what they cost. Have you had the house valued?

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 19:10

Sort of. Our tenant is batshit so we can't have anyone actually inside the property until he's left. I think if it sold on the open market it's about £30k more than what we bought it for because we got it very cheaply.

OP posts:

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 28/03/2017 19:13

He only wants you to pay it back if you buy him out but not if you sell. What's the logic there?

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 28/03/2017 19:14

Tbh I would feel extremely weird living in the house with a new DP. It would feel weirder if I were the new DP. I'd sell it and start afresh. New place with new memories.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 19:15

No no sorry we're buying it to rent it out. Christ no, I wouldn't want to live there either!

OP posts:

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 19:16

Sorry for drip feeding, no he wants it back either way

OP posts:

ohidoliketobebesidethecoast · 28/03/2017 19:19

I'd get legal advice. My guest is that, as u were in a relationship when the work was done, there was no suggestion at the time that u were to pay him back half, so he probably doesn't have a legal basis for deciding years later that you owe for it...but get legal advice if possible.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 19:21

Thanks, that's sort of how I feel. I never agreed that I'd pay it back if he decided to fuck someone else on our sofa while i slept we broke up.

Not bitter or anything lol

OP posts:

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 28/03/2017 19:26

If you knew you would have to pay for half of the kitchen and the bathroom, would you have made different choices?

WatchingFromTheWings · 28/03/2017 19:28

I think ohidolike is right. If it wasn't a loan at the time and you had no agreement to pay it back he can't ask for it now.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 19:31

runrabbit hell yes, I'd have said leave it as it is because I'm unlikely to be able to afford it!

OP posts:

JaniceBattersby · 28/03/2017 20:12

No way. Are you going to ask him to pay you back for groceries you bought, holidays you paid for or petrol you put in the car during your relationship?

I guess there's no hard and fast rules. He's only going to accept what he's going to accept and I guess that's up to him.

kaputt · 28/03/2017 20:23

He'll get his portion of investment in the building 'back' in the increased value. Otherwise you're paying him twice. OR - pay him his share of what it was worth when you bought it, plus his investments in kitchen etc.

Same principle on the ground rent etc as well.

JassyRadlett · 28/03/2017 20:31

Should I pay him back do you all think?

Not unless he's willing for you to pocket the difference between what you bought it for and what it's worth now, and only take his share of the original investment. He's not willing to pay the costs of the investment, he doesn't get the profit.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 28/03/2017 23:36

kaputt i think he thinks he should get my share of the cost of the bathroom/kitchen back or the amount that the house has increased because of it.

He's really anal and a bit weird tbh.

I'm just exhausted by this and fed up and want it to be over

OP posts:

kaputt · 29/03/2017 07:32

He sounds bananas. As a pp said, does he want his electricity bills back too?

I think if I was you I'd sell it rather than buy him out, sadly, as it sounds like he's going to make it miserable for you to try to come to a fair value. And he gets his 40% of the value. That's it.

ohidoliketobebesidethecoast · 29/03/2017 07:46

My ex started something like this as he was leaving, on a smaller scale - he said i should reimburse him for the TV we bought 3 months earlier as it had turned out that he wouldn't get to use it (replacing one which broke down, not a big, fancy TV). I started listing thing he should then reimburse me for using that logic - and it included his car (he just traded up, no need, the old one was fine, all his idea), a new PC (as for car). He quickly dropped that idea :-D.
I should also have mentioned that my view of the law is based on watching Judge Rinder, so, as I say, maybe get proper legal advice :-D!

wowfudge · 29/03/2017 08:11

Okay - I have re-read the thread and had a think about this. The correct way to deal with this would be either to get a surveyor to value the house - you'd have to pay for a valuation - or ask a number of local estate agents round to value as if you were going to sell (i.e. pretend you are selling) and take the average valuation as the market value. It's important to ask them what they would I expect it to sell for, not what they would market it at. Then split that 60:40 and pay the ex his share which includes any uplift in value. That uplift takes into account improvements which may have increased the value. That was what I meant in terms of paying him back for things he funded.

Have you shared the costs since moving out and the proceeds of renting the house out? If not then that complicates things.

Has he said exactly how much he wants for his share? If he has and it's more than a straightforward split based on the current value then your options are to just say let's sell and take our shares of the proceeds less the selling costs or to see whether you can pay him any more and point out he's doing better than if the place was sold.

Original poster

lemonzest123 · 29/03/2017 18:33

Thanks, its given me lots to think about. I think yes to paying back ground rent and management fee but not kitchen and bathroom. I never said I would, he knew that if he wanted renovations he has to stump up the cash because our salaries were so drastically different. Especially since I financially supported him while he was studying for him amazing job and thought getting a part time job was beneath him.

God break ups are hard!

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