Londoners - are you planning on staying in London with kids?

[pilgrimway]

Those who live in London are you planning on staying with your kids or will you move before school - primary or secondary?

I know there is no right decision on this and it is all personal.

Love in a lovely bit of North London - lots of pluses but I can't help thinking perhaps would be better further out - less hectic, less expensive, more space, maybe less competitive?, more countryside nearer and easier to get to the sea, less pollution. The usual.

Can see us staying for primary but lots seem to move out at secondary - I think I'd rather stay somewhere throughout so not uprooting from friends etc.

We are tied to London for work so can't move far if we do move out.

Interested to hear about other people's paths! Why do others move out? And if you stayed, any regrets or worries about your children in London?

We stayed. It was a bit sad during preschool years when so many other families moved away, but we are in zone 3 (just beyond Balham ) and there's wild land, Park and nature reserve within 2 minutes walk from school, so much stuff within easy reach.
And IME there were more drugs and violence in suburban and rural communities for teens as there wasn't much else to do. Here the kids have their aspirations raised just by living.Ds age 8 thinks of the South Bank as a second home, and the RFH as "where we performed".

Less traffic would be nice, and glad we bought 10 years ago, but no plans to move.

Interesting to hear all the stories and actually quite surprised the majority are staying put. Seems like the benefits of London still outweigh the extra space and different lifestyle outside of London.

I think it depends on whether you chose London pre-kids or just happened to end up there. I wanted the London lifestyle so moved here, and still want it. If I wanted a more country life (eg if I'd stayed with the partner where we went camping and climbing most weekends), then London wouldn't work. Ditto if I were dd's friend's family who have two adults and two kids in a tiny one-bed flat because they didn't try to buy 10 years ago - I'm amazed they don't want to live outside London!

My Surrey private school had a big knife problem, so I suppose I'm immune to the thinking that my little child would be safer in a nice Surrey town.

Small towns and villages have their own problems especially for teenagers, its not something I want for my dcs, my secondey had horrendous drug problems and a teenage drinking culture with roots in boredom. However dsis intends to send dnephews there and thinks I'm crazy to live where I do

It's interesting what people think of Villages and Countryside. I lived in a small town as teenager and moved to London to an estate, tbh yes they both have their problems but in the country there was just a bit of weed and a few fights. Def experienced worse on my estate in SW London. Hwoq

Sorry baby grabbed the phone before I had finished!

Basically, I was wondering if it's a money thing. I came from a poor background and we lived in social housing, my experience in the city was worse due to less space and more crime in closer proximity.

Now we can't afford to buy in London so living outside of London gives us a better lifestyle, can actually live in a house and we love the countryside. We never had enough money to do the things we loved in London.

Maybe if we had more money we could have enjoyed it more, so maybe if you have a big enough income to buy there or rent somewhere nice you can ignore the health costs like pollution and enjoy the good bits

Money helps but being poor rurally is pretty shitty too.

Cowgirl I am poor (for example qualify for free NHS glasses etc due to low income) and rural and pretty happy 😊 when I was poor in London I had depression. Here I can go for long walks and get fresh air. In London I was stuck in a cheap flat, horrible neighbours, cramped rooms, people weren't as friendly, I had to work loads more to pay rent. Of course not all of the countryside is equal! But were I live is friendly and supportive, homes are affordable (to rent and buy). Not everyone has this experience but this is mine. My kids are happier and so am I out of London.

I am happy to hear people still have good experiences in London tho! My family are from there and I still visit

Agree with Gowgirl no money period makes any place shit.

The housing cost in London is astronomical and that the average earner now would struggle to buy/rent. But housing aside I think living in London is very affordable. Free travel for dc, free things to do every weekend, cheap pubs for drink/lunch.

But it is the cost of housing that lets London down badly.

I haven't read through the entire thread, but I chose to leave London to have my Dc.

I am a born and bred Londoner and moved away 2 years before Dc1 was born.

Best decision we (DH also a born and bred Londoner too) ever made. My Dc have a far better quality of life than they would have had in London.

The place has changed beyond recognition and there are parts that are complete dumps. Not to mention the pollution, the lack of space, the house prices.

Wouldn't want my Dc brought up there. Not ever.

I've been poor, ie claiming income support rurally, it took two sodding years of searching to find a part time job working around nursery that wasn't seasonal, the bus to the nearest town was £8 return and came hourly. All of local supermarkets were really expensive, but.....im no lover of the countryside and all the long walks on the beach in the world cant outweigh the freedom of knowing there are good schools and part time jobs available.

I grew up in London and we're raising DS here. We have a flat in zone 1 and he goes to a great secondary and has access to lots of opportunities that you wouldn't get in the suburbs (e.g. extra curricular stuff with the Roundhouse, Tate Modern, UCL and National Theatre). Transport is cheap and our commute is easy (we all walk to work or school, and I've retrained with evening classes at Birkbeck which has boosted my career massively). My family all live here so we have a great relationship with grandparents and cousins.

We have a 2 bed flat with no garden but that is how I grew up so I don't see it as a disadvantage. The amount of space we have is fine for our family. We could get a huge 6 bed detached out in the home counties but the commute would kill me and I'd never fit in socially as I'm from an ethnic minority. I'd agree that public services have suffered in London (our local GP is terrible but we go private as DH can salary sacrifice it so it's affordable). DS's state school is outstanding and non selective and it was part of the reason we chose our flat, it can be really tricky if you can't get into a good catchment.

We're in zone 2 and are staying put. School places are competitive so may need to revisit the decision for secondary school, although by then hopefully private school will be an option financially. I love the adventures I had in the area on mat leave and the fact that there is so much choice of extra curricular stuff for DS.

I'm a Londoner born and bred. Went to school there, etc. We lived in a 2 bedroom flat in zone 1 and moved out to south bucks when DC1 was 18 months old. Best thing we ever did. Our commute into London is about 45 mins door to door (18 minute direct train route) and we live in a large house on a .75 acre plot. Love the community we live in, the easy lifestyle we have and the environment our children enjoy. We actually rented for 9 months (and rented out our London flat) before we bought our house so we could see how it all worked out. That way it was all reversible.

I brought up my two, now adult, sons in the 80/90s in a three bed mansion flat, small balcony, communal gardens, Zone 2, and would do it again. There is just so much for children/teens/adults to do, plus it was a very short commute to work.

So many green spaces and free activities and these days public transport is first class and basically free for children. The whole world visits London - why would you want to live anywhere else? If you want more space I think a move to the outer suburbs is preferable to a complete move to the sticks, at least be at the end of the tube line!

Yes- definitely plan on staying in London!

We live in zone 2 and have an almost 3 year old.

I grew up in zone 4/5 and have very fond memories of school trips to the Science museum and Natural history museum, and in my mid to late teens venturing up to central London trying to be cool in Leicester square with my school mates.

We used buses and national rail to get around, then got my drivers licence at 17 (as did a fair few of my school friends)

My OH grew up in a large city in another country and he is keen for us to stay in London- we had similar childhoods, being in relatively close proximity to a big city.

So we are both happy to stay here to bring up LO. We are definitely not country/rural types!

Plus, it's so quick to get into central London on the train- if either of us is going out to meet friends it's not a problem to get in/get home afterwards.
And all the theatres, museums and galleries just a short train ride away.

The main problem is not being able to afford to buy anything, but we're hoping to find something soon! (had something last month but the vendor decided to go with another buyer after we'd paid for survey & valuation- fucker!).

We thought about moving out of London/beyond the M25 for about 5 minutes.
I know lots of people do it, but it's just not for us.
The travelling/commuting time, the cost of a season railcard etc.

Also, totally agree with a PP about reducing commute time.
I am very lucky to work fairly local to where we live so there is not much travel time to work/nursery pick up each day.

This makes things so much more manageable and we get lots of quality time outside of work (OH not so much as he has longer commute) and you can't really put a price on that.

I was in zone 2 but moved to zone 4 after I had my first. There simply weren't the type of houses we wanted near our old flat. We're only 35 minutes into central London, so although it's suburbia really, we can still access the best bits of London easily, but have the house we wanted.

Although I'd really love to live in the Barbican, and would give this house up if there was a possibility, but that'll never happen.

We moved OS before having kids and then moved back when DS1 was two. We had the choice to move back to London (which was my choice), or live a short commute outside (DH's choice). We went with the latter choice, despite DH working in London and we're pretty happy with our choice, although I don't think I'll ever stop missing London. We live in a small city a 20-min direct train from a London mainline station. Our house, which is massive, and our lovely big garden would've been millions in London. We could've afforded a 3-bed in zone 2 or 3, but we definitely have a better quality of life here. I also worry about air pollution in London, which has hit the headlines this week. The other thing that bothered me about London is that everyone we know left. Literally ALL our friends moved out while we were living OS, so there was no one left to entice us back. But if you have an established life in a community with friends, good schools, etc, I can see the attraction of staying. There is nowhere else like London in the world.

We moved from zone 2 to zone 6 just before ds1 started school - no regrets!

What NotYoda said.

What do teens DO outside London? My nieces and nephews get ferried everywhere by car because there is no public transport, they are a lot less self-sufficient, and they have peers who sniff glue in bus shelters.

Obviously there can be issues for teens in London, too, I am being a bit tongue in cheek, but I think London is great for children and teens.

Within easy walking or one-bus distance, we have : many pools including 2 lidos, an ice rink, a couple of BMX tracks, about 4 skate parks, 4 cinemas and more,.Affordable drama and music projects. A climbing wall, etc etc. Then in central London the full range of free and cheap places like museums, galleries, The South Bank.

Schools have tight catchments so friends live close - this creates a great community for children and teens.

They get exposed, in some depth, to such a diversity of people and cultures.

I thought I would want to move out, but when it came to it, I really didn't.

We get our outdoor fix at weekends and in the holidays.

Zone 1 here, and the kids are at University. They would not have grown up anywhere else. Indeed one has stayed in London for University and the other would only consider cities.

You don't need a garden as kids prefer parks. You also don't need as much space as you think you might. Our shared a bedroom during the time we had au pairs, an friends of their continued to share bedrooms through their teenage years. At least we won't need to downsize. .

I have three children and live in zone 2 - I wouldn't want to leave London (except for another big city and even then I'd be picky about which). Like others have said, we really value all the activities we have on the doorstep - often for free - and my oldest who has just turned 13 never needs lifts anywhere, she just walks or takes public transport much of which is free with her zipcard. There is a really good choice of schools and, if you don't get your first choice, experience has taught that the population in London is fluid enough that a space comes up eventually. Despite house prices, there is still a really good mix of people in many areas. Londoners get a bashing on MN but they are generally tolerant and enthusiastic and have a lot of get-up-and-go - what better role models?

Also grown up in London (zone 3). If I can I'll be staying there. I love living somewhere where there's loads on- I get bored in the countryside. On my university year abroad I lived in a city, but it was fairly small and didn't have much going on so I was bored witless. Countryside is ok for a week's holiday but I'd go crazy if I lived there full time. My dad's friend lives in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in West Sussex, and his son went to boarding school for sixth form partly because he was so bored, and is now at UCL. I'm also quite introverted so don't mind anonymity. We do have a garden, fairly small, but the weather is crap a lot of the time so we don't use it much.

Also planning to stay. I'm foreign and can't imagine living anywhere else in the UK. We're very lucky in that our house is big enough for us and there's scope to reconfigure it if DC want to stay at home for university. We're also in a nice leafy bit of Zone 3 so green space isn't far away.

The drawback though is that grown up DC won't let you cash in the house and move out. They want somewhere to stay until they have saved up enough money for a deposit. I like the idea of them returning. DH does not.