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Original poster

Entitled or not entitled??

46 replies

Lizzie182046 · 12/10/2016 16:27

I was living with my boyfriend for 16 years until he left. He never had his deatails on the mortgage but we went halfs on everything. We never married or was engaged. He probalby paid a little more overall because he earns more than me and he did the kitchen and the bathroom up. I dont earn much. He still pays the direct debits and half the mortgage as he says it is still half his house. Now he wants some money out of the house. Not half but £60k which is well well under half. He has instructed solicitors but I have so far ignored the letters. He now says that if he goes through solictors instead of mediation with me - which I dont want to do - he will go for half as it will cost the same. I dont know if I can actually afford the house on my own, but I dont want to sell, but I can't afford to add £60k to the mortgage. Has anyone got good sound advice for me please

OP posts:

AyeAmarok · 12/10/2016 17:30

OP you haven't answered what you think is fair here.

You do know that you are being very unreasonable and very unfair, don't you? What is your reason for think he should lose out on so much money so you aren't inconvenienced?

How would you feel if it was the other way round?

Don't be that person.

Original poster

Lizzie182046 · 12/10/2016 17:36

I agree he should have some money. I just dont want to sell the house. Its my home. But he doesnt have a home now and I feel guilty. but I cant afford to buy him out. I dont want to be that person either

OP posts:

Kidnapped · 12/10/2016 17:37

"There is a charge on the house already because of his solicitor".

What do you mean by this exactly? Do you mean that your ex already has a charge on the house? Is it just a home rights notice, meaning your ex has registered an interest in the house with the Land Registry?

Or some other kind of charge?

Original poster

Lizzie182046 · 12/10/2016 17:41

A charge so I cannot sell it. I think.

OP posts:

AyeAmarok · 12/10/2016 17:44

But you can't afford it on your own. So what's the alternative? You bought it together, when you had both of your salaries contributing to the mortgage and him paying a lot more towards it and paying to upgrade it.

When you split, you need to stand on your own two feet, especially when there are no children involved (and your earnings haven't been compromised because of that).

So you need to live somewhere you can afford on your own salary.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 12/10/2016 17:51

For heavens sake. You can't afford the house without him living there so you are just going to have to sell it and buy a cheaper one! If the house is worth over 300,000 and he only wants 60,000 why arent you biting his hand off?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 12/10/2016 17:52

Cross posts with ayeamorak there.

Kidnapped · 12/10/2016 17:59

OP, have a look at the paperwork of the charge. Because nobody is going to be able to help here if we don't know what it is.

What does it say on the header? Land Registry?

SpotTheDuck · 12/10/2016 18:16

You must see a solicitor about this, don't stick your head in the sand.

It's likely he can take some of the equity, as he's contributed financially and has done work on the house. He will basically be arguing that he's always understood it was half his property in reality (even though he wasn't a legal owner), that you encouraged him to believe this, and that he spent money and did work believing that he would ultimately benefit from the value of the house.

If the court agrees, based on the evidence, then they can force you to sell the house in order to pay his share.

That's an overview, but you really need proper legal advice.

Kidnapped · 12/10/2016 18:20

In terms of some broad numbers if you are going to be 'fair' about it:

House now worth £330K.

55K left on the mortgage.

So £275K to be split between you both which would give him £137K

Obviously there are fees to be considered (and your deposit for the first house and his contributions to kitchen and bathroom to be taken into consideration) but you'd be looking around that kind of number.

So him asking for £60K is him being very generous to you. You can't just bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away. It won't and you could end up paying a lot more.

Nannynowamummy · 12/10/2016 21:17

On a side note, if you haven't instructed a solicitor yet, yoh may be able to do this through your house insurance policy if you purcajsed their 'legal cover'.

JillyTheDependableBoot · 12/10/2016 21:28

You need to stop burying your head in the sand and see a solicitor. You won't be able to go to court without going through mediation (or at least attempting it) first, so you need to accept that. And you DO NOT want to go to court, it will cost you north of £25K.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 12/10/2016 21:42

I think you're in denial as you know that he's going to be awarded the money. It sounds like you have prolonged it for a long time anyway.
Please be fair to the man. You don't have children. He's enabled you to have that house and you should be able to buy something else even by selling your home and buying something circa £60k less.
Obviously I don't know the circumstances of your split, which may not legally, but morally IMO changes things. If he hasn't done anything wrong, I'd avoid court and pay him the money.

user1471549018 · 12/10/2016 21:56

Re affordibility you should talk to a mortgage broker. You may be able to get a guarentor (sp?) for the mortgage, and there are other ways parents can help out whilst protecting their money if this is a possibilty for you? Even by adding 60 k you would have a very good LTV ratio so would get good interest rates in theory. And look at renting out a room or 2, this would likely cover the mortgage easily and help towards your bills.

Northumberlandlass · 13/10/2016 08:56

It would seem common sense to me that you sell, give him the £60k he wants (he could get more) and you buy somewhere new. You will have a considerable amount.

He is entitled to more than £60k, it has been his home and he has contributed to it.

If you cannot afford to raise the money or increase your mortgage, surely that is the only option.
Talk to a solicitor.

Kidnapped · 13/10/2016 10:27

Also, if you are in an expensive part of the country and don't earn much then maybe you could sell up and use that cash to get somewhere nice in a cheaper place. Near family or friends maybe?

If you did give him the 60K, you'd have around 200K (taking selling costs into consideration) to play with which is decent. Rent for a short while to be sure that you can get a job there and settle well and then either buy a place outright or certainly you can put a big wodge down as a deposit. A nice little place that is easy to maintain and has small overheads.

If you don't earn much, could you use some of the money to help you retrain into a different line of work? You have enough money to fund it if you do want to.

I don't mean to be insensitive with these suggestions. I know you've had a hard time with the split and then worrying about losing your home which is obviously very sad and stressful for you.

But if you look at the positives, you'll have a fair amount of cash to start over. This could be a great opportunity for you. A new life awaits.

sianihedgehog · 14/10/2016 15:36

Could you let out a room to make it affordable?

Dowser · 15/10/2016 12:23

If he's entitled to this money then give him it. Don't drag it out . It will make it more costly.
Do it all legally...in full and final settlement etc
See a solicitor.
He means business. He's put a lien on the house. That will probably cost money to lift. He might charge you half for that.
The advice what you are getting is exactly what would be given if you were trying to get your money out of a property you'd paid into.

2kids2dogsnosense · 15/10/2016 12:30

He doesn't get a bean, just as if he'd been renting somewhere and left he wouldn't get anything back. If he'd wanted financial security he should have married you. ( RiverTam )

I would have thought this, too.

Of course he contributed to costs - he was living there. I would think he paid a lot less than he would have in rent for equivalent accomodation. He did perhaps choose to upgrade the property in some respects, but that was surely his decision and he benefitted from it too while he was there.

I agree that you should take specialist legal advice on this. The fact the
that he is asking for well under half the value suggests that he knows he is on a hiding to nothing and is hoping you'll pay up and shut up.

RiverTam · 15/10/2016 13:00

Oh God, don't quote me! I bowed out of this ages ago as clearly I don't know my arse from my elbow on this point .

Dowser · 16/10/2016 09:53

Hope you will update us at some point op...just so some of us apprentice legal eagles can be sure we have our facts straight.

Lol at river tam ;-)

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