Anyone else having an extension and struggling to cope?

[CakeInMyFace]

Ok. I hate my builder. I think he is a bit of a cowboy. We are entering month 4 of our house project, I have a 6 month old, a 4.5 year old and we have been living in cramped conditions with only a microwave, kettle and toaster. They quoted max 3 months and we have 6 weeks left at least. I'm struggling to cope with my anger/frustration over builders taking long lunches, people not turning up, things taking forever and our general living conditions. Im turning into a total cow! How do people survive this? I'm regretting it all :-(

oh god I remember that feeling

what are you having done? How far have they got?

You're at the worst bit where it's at its messiest and most unfinished. And all your goodwill has buggered off because you're living in chaos with small children which makes everything a million times harder.

I feel for you. The mess is generally bad just before it gets better.

Bit worried you think builder is a cowboy.

Other than longer lunches and a few people not turning up are there any other worrying signs?? Such as asking for money for work not done yet?

You need a lot of and huge amounts of and then some peace.

Hope the rest goes well.

I had this with kids and pregnant , what annoyed me most is everytime you wanted a drink or to get a biscuit you felt obliged to offer and they always said yes so 10 teas at least 7 times a day . They would always be early and leave early , always disappear off to get things !! Blame everything on each other but once it's done .... You will love it . It's so peaceful and the space .
I'd never do it again though (still arguing with builder 10 months after completion ) I think once you except it's never going to be tidy until they finish it's easier rather than going nuts cleaning up every night for it to be a mess again by 8 the next morning oh and it effects every room somehow

Yes! Our extension should have been finished end of January and yet again no one turned up today and I hate all the mess everywhere. I want my house back!

I really feel for you with a delayed extension with a baby and toddler.

I got hold of the builders number and pestered him constantly ( he probably hates me) also I cried ( hormones ) which sped things up ha ha .
Hope yours gets finished soon I find when it's nearing completion they start moving on to other jobs and you get people turning up as and when they can between the new jobs so if they are not turning up hopefully your nearly done .

We knocked down our old sticky out galley kitchen and have built a large extension out the back for a large open plan kitchen. There will be a step down to it from our current living/dining room making for a really large open plan space. Its creating so much more space for us but am hating every minute of how we have to live right now.
House is a mess, rooms upstairs have been affected with loads of cracks and skirting has come off (from structural work downstairs)...so just feels endless! The only plus is I've lost most of the baby weight prob from stress!
Our builder had made alot of mistakes and miscalculations and the job has progressed very slowly. It hasn't been managed very well either. Today he told us another 5 to 6 weeks :-( I am so fed up of it all I really just needed a big moan. Its costing us a fortune and I feel so bad for my 4.5 yr old...she has been getting upset too saying she wants her house back the way it was :-(

I had an amazing and highly competent builder and it was still hard. I just wanted my house back and mine was a 4 month build.

We bought a 2 ring Andrew James hob (happened to be induction as we were having one fitted so tried a small cheap version out before buying) cheap as chips from Amazon but there are others.

We used disposable plates, cutlery and coffee cups when the dishwasher was removed, although to be fair we had it plumbed in and running, draining into a massive Ikea storage tub for a fair while. Like I said, amazing builder. All disposable stuff was from Costco.

Have you any friends who could cook a meal for you, either to bring round or invite you to theirs?

I think it helps to remember why you are doing it (I had photo of the teeny kitchen to remind me) visualise what your life will be like day to day when it is done. It is a bit like pregnancy, it is only 9 months of your life but if it is hell it feels like forever

I feel your pain Cake as we went through the build from hell in 2012 when building the kitchen extension at our last house that typically, was one of the fucking wettest Springs/Summers I've ever experienced with builders going AWOL, a mud bath directly outside our back door (not ideal with a new puppy) and no hot water or heating for six months! In the end DH finished the job himself just so we could get on with our lives

Most of our meals were makeshift - BBQ (when it wasn't raining), takeaways, in the microwave or on the woodburner hob, but bathing was a pita as we had to boil umpteen kettles or saucepans (on the woodburner) and cart them up the stairs to the bathroom......and no showers unless we visited close family!

We used a lot of paper plates and lived out of boxes. Ours was just the start of a major refurb - rewiring a stone built thatched house was no fun I can tell you as there was nowhere for the wires to go - but we came through it in the end with fab results.......see attached before, during and after pics.

We however, had no young DC to think about on that occasion, but have done worse with DS in tow.......TBH we just made it out to be one huge adventure and camped out in whatever rooms weren't like a building site. He loved every minute of it and has grown up with a real appreciation of restoring old buildings

Thanks everyone..and wow Raphaella what an amazing result! All of your responses have made me feel much better. Yeah we have to do washing up in the bath as no water supply downstairs so been using paper plates etc. No washing machine is the hardest but luckily have met some amazing people where we live and through my daughter starting school. So been going to people's houses for food regularly and doing laundry while there.
It always helps hearing orhers' stories, realising it could be worse or just knowing/hearing about how others get through it.
Never again though...!!@@@@@!!! And can't wait for builder to be out of our lives . Absolutely feels like it's taking forever. I need chocolates and more prosecco!

Dh and l have just decided tonight to look into extending our 2 bed house. This thread has made me have a rethink! I nearly went spare over getting a new bathroom, maybe l won't cope with an extension after all.

Hope it's sorted soon OP!

Realise this is an old post..... but I really am struggling! We have undertaken a big extension project at our house to make it ‘exactly as we want’......I was soo excited. The trouble is as it progresses and I can see things in place I change my mind (the builder has been great in fairness but is starting to lose patience!)....... and now am regretting a few biggish decisions. Literally over thinking absolutely everything. Even things I have wanted forever I now doubt and have given myself anxiety and a lot of sleepless nights as a result. Feel so upset as really thought I could handle it (usually pretty resilient!) but the money, plus rate and perminality of so many decisions is really taking its toll!!!
Please tell me some level of regret is normal and that I will love it all when it’s finished?!?! 😫

Some level of regret is normal and you will love it when it's all finished!

Sitting here in my lovely dining room extension now and it has made this year all worthwhile.

For what it's worth...when my builders started, I offered them tea on the first day. The boss immediately said 'Don't offer them tea!' He knew it could become a daily chore. I did make them tea on a few occasions - when they were out there in the pissing rain, and freezing cold weather, in nothing but their manky t shirts and tracksuit bottoms! We made up for it by giving them each a box of beer when they finished. To be fair we were lucky, we had lovely builders.