Please help me decide where to move to - I am going round in circles

[ilikeelephants]

Hello
Am starting to get a bit panicky about my situation so would love some objective thinking to help me! This will probably out me but never mind.
Moved from crouch end to oxted 2 years ago. Regretted it immediately but tried to make it work. What I didn't like was there was no real personality to the place. It's a fine, safe suburb but it's all a bit dull - sorry oxted - it's not you it's me! I really missed London - the culture, vibrancy, green space, interesting things going on, people. I really struggled on mat leave. I felt lonely even though I have a few friends here, and I just felt like it wasn't, and never would be, home. The things I do like about out here are that the traffic is fine, I can get out to countryside (not great countryside mind) in 10 minutes, the schools are ok (not brill but fine) and commute is ok (ish) - I do actually find this a bit stressful. My commute is 1.5hr. DH is 1hr. Each way. We share drop off and pick up. It could be worse though.
Our families live 2.5hr away in either direction. We have friends dotted about all over the place.
DH needs to get to LB/CST/Liv St/Moorgate/Farringdon and is in 4-5x a week. I am in 2x week at Farringdon/KX.
We have 1x toddler and a baby on the way.
We have £1m.
We have thought about every possible place to move to and it changes every day! We now have house on market and it is likely it will sell this weekend so we need to hurry up and decide what to do.
Current candidates include: Crouch End (our favourite though I am worried that we cannot afford it. It would be easier from here to visit my parents, love it, green space, good schools, commute but pricey!!) Tunbridge Wells (like town, good schools, lovely countryside, commute loooong though and wrong side to get to both sets of parents) Teddington (like the area, good schools, still London vibe, good for DH parents, but wrong side for trains and v pricey - nearly CE standard). Also considered villages but not sure can find any to make commute work really. Plus feel I would probably suit more buzz at this point in my life, and for kids to find stuff to do.
Did think about Surbiton and Tonbridge but I'm just not sure - I think I may feel the same as I do here. I'm so scared of moving and feeling the same. I think we will rent first for 6 months wherever we go, but even that will be an upheaval for nursery place, storage etc so would really like to get it right now.
We have discounted many many places. We have visited many many places and houses, and just don't know what the compromise should be. We go back into London and get a tiny place, and would I then be missing space and countryside? We go across to bigger town, but then would the commute be too horrible and we'd never see kids, we go to London suburb and get a bit of both but pay for it in terms of cost and commute.

So difficult to advise, but agree about Oxted. If I go there, I can't wait to leave. Ugh. Feels dull. I like Tonbridge, (currently at station waiting for dses!) and Tunbridge Wells, so I'd say there. I've lived in Surbiton and Kingston, and loved living there. Wouldn't move back though because I love the country and being slightly more remote. Depends what you prefer.

Just out of curiosity where is family located? You say 2.5 hr either direction but which directions?

Teddington is lovely but it sounds as if your heart's in CE OP?

We all know that house purchases always involve a compromise or two. I think you need to be ruthless with a priority list. Really ruthless and honest with yourselves. For instance getting access to your families is good, but your commute being reasonable is more important.

I'd also be looking slightly longer term with regard to your DCs and be very realistic about what you are going to do with them on a regular basis. A town with lovely parks is a good compromise for access to open countryside maybe?

Be sensible about how much space you need from your home, inside and out and about nursery and schools, about parking and how far you're prepared to be from a station. Time on the train or tube may be longer from some properties, but that can often be offset by the time it takes to and from home after the main part of the commute.

If you can start to talk about what you really want from your next home posters can probably help you narrow your search, even the comments that you react negatively to will help you work things out for yourself.

Thanks for replying. I really appreciate it. I love the countryside but also love London! My heart is definitely in CE but my head says the house we could afford would be too small, but maybe that's because I've got used to suburb 4 bedders with drive. We could afford a 3 bed house there I think. I know we could manage with this, but it would be tight as we'd like room for family to stay, plus as kids grow up we r going to be squashed! But maybe we could them afford to go into loft or something? I think the facilities in CE outweigh being in proper countryside as there is so much green space about. It's the size of home I'm worried about. We will go view some to see how we feel.

My head says Tunbridge wells or teddington would be better as in tw we would have enough space in a house, stuff to do in town for kids (and me) but near countryside and space. Teddington also in the picture as also easy access to countryside but a bit more of a London feel. Lots for kids to do there too. However we'd be in a smaller home.

Parents are in Suffolk but think going to move up to Norfolk (affordability) in laws are in Bristol.

Entertainment - our priority has to be good primaries, commute for DH no longer than 1hr15 each way but 1hr better. Plus I guess it also has to be somewhere that we want to spend time in, otherwise we would stay in oxted. CE is my ideal - liberal, independent shops, villages, leafy, arty but I've widened that out to just be somewhere that has a decent range of shops and facilities and has a bit of a nice vibe about it. Somewhere family friendly with some personality. Also essential is a leafy, green area or an area with access to a big park or easy to get into country. On desirable is good state secondaries, space for a dog. I think we've give up the idea of being closer to parents. We were thinking about moving out to Cambridge or that way but commute just too much. We don't really want to move area again. We would move house again in 5-10 years (gawd help me) but same area. We don't want to unsettle kids once in schools.

Have you thought about somewhere between Cambridge and Kings X - Hitchin maybe? It's the right side of London for both your commutes (I would never live West/South West and need to be in East London regularly though I know many do). Hitchin may tick many of your housing/area boxes and is a less than 1 hour drive to Barnet/Crouch End if you still had friends in the area?

My first thought was St Albans or Harpenden, or the areas around. There is a direct train to kings cross thameslink approx. 30-40 mins) so easy to get to Farrington.

Tunbridge Wells is nice and nearby Tonbridge has nice areas also. Places like Tenterden are also worth considering ( not sure on commute)

Whistable has a good vibe, and gas been compared to Brighton. Not sure how suitable it would be for you.

CE has gone through the roof recently, a lot of houses are over a million. We've just bought a house in E17 (have been renting a two bed flat that was valued at 650k last month). Could you try the Harringay ladder? Or around Stroud Green? I know how you feel, I'm loathe to leave but we need space! Hoping to come back one day.

Have you considered Essex? Epping is a very good commute into London, handy for Suffolk but obviously a bit far from Bristol. Good schools, nice and leafy, and easy to get to shops etc.
I would also consider St Albans. Though prices are much higher it is a lovely area with very good schooling and a very reasonable commute.
We are in Winchester and love it but I think the commute may be too far for you. It is 55 minutes into waterloo. It is however very beautiful, good schools and lots to do.

Harpenden is lovely, we have friends who live there. It's only about 35 mins on train to Farringdon. Lovely shops, good schools and countryside too.

I live in CE but on the edge, towards the foot of Ally Pally. Houses on my street are about 1.1m but stuff is not shifting so fast so you may find something for about 1m. If you edge away from the broadway/Crouch Hill bit it will get cheaper and is much nicer (IMHO!) - have a look on the Wera N8 streets which run down from the base of Ally Pally to Priory Road/Park. I've heard you can also get a good sized house for about 900,000 on the Muswell Hill borders, i.e. more towards the north circular. I love being around here, baby is one, and sooo much on. Good facilities in priory park etc.

Hello posters
Yes considered and visited all those places - Epping, thought ok but still expensive and poss similar issues to oxted? Ditto hitchin. St. Albans liked but way too expensive for what it is. Agree prob does tick our main boxes though of schools and commute plus a bit more going on there. May rightmove there again! Harpenden a bit range rover/golf club for my liking. May well look at Stroud green and hornsey/ally pally. Also easy Finchley. I know there is a good primary in Stroud green. Not sure about other places.
Any other view on how to choose between two areas? Most helpful so far thank you!!

I don't really think I can add much except to ask questions where your answers might help you gain some insight OP.
If you were thinking of Tunbridge Wells I could suggest you hunt around Southborough which is north of town, served by High Brooms Station.

I did have a scout around though and didn't see anything you would probably go for.
If you were attracted to that neck of the woods, Frant or Bells Yew Green would also be options.

Move back to Crouch End! That's clearly where you want to be. Foot of Ally Pally is cheaper and IMO one of the nicest parts as its near the parks and 15 min walk to CE centre... Or the end of Weston park near Hornsey station?Ally Pally side Of Muswell near Rhodes ave primary and APS? Colney hatch lane side of Muswell...
Alternatively there are the "up and coming" areas near Muswell hill / CE where you'd get a lot more for your £1m. Bowes Park / Bounds Green or Palmers Green? Not so amazing now but give them a few years.....transport links are better there too! 3 / 4 beds are £700k you could prob stretch to the lakes estate in palmers green with £1m - huge Edwardian houses near the park...
Wish I had your budget!

Palmers Green... www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53229128.html
Trains go to moorgate. Within 10 min drive of Muswell hill and about 15 min of CE.... Broomfield park is lovely and apparently the primary has just been upgraded to outstanding...

Ally pally side of Muswell hill. Near bounds green tube and ally pally station - trains to moorgate. This house is prob on the very edge of Rhodes ave catchment though...
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-55380890.html

I'm enjoying searching with your budget - much more fun than mine!! ;)

OP, we've brought up two kids in a bedroom house in an area quite similar to CE but bit more central and south...we have two doubles and a box room. There have been a few issues (eg at exam time - downstairs has knocked through rooms) but we have loved living so centrally, close to excellent parks, buzz, life, in and out of town so easily. Haven't regretted it. We have excellent transport links so can get out of London easily, to countryside or to visit parents, commutes are short and flexible, streets are busy at night for the kids coming home. Now they are late teens, I really see the benefits, they can come and go so easily.

Stroud Green is getting better and better as the road has really improved, lots of nice cafes/shops etc. The streets running off to the east are very popular. I think houses there are hitting 800/900/1m at the moment.

Personally I don't really like the ladder as it runs down onto busy Green Lanes.

Alexandra Park Road in Muswell Hill also has some nice cafes/shops appearing, might be worth looking around that bit.

Happy right-moving!

Ha ok those posts made me happy!! So I prob need to scale back the house needs and go for the location. It's in crouch end region. Am still at work but will look at posts in detail later. Thank u. And yes I know we r lucky wit budget but u always want more. About 10 years ago I was in negative equity, debt, and split up with ex DP - horrible horrible time. I should keep it in perspective.

I want to second Fat Pony, I know I also suggested the ladder, but Stroud Green Road is ace and just over from CE. Not to mention CH rail station, two stops to Hampstead Heath. I was in CE today and saw in the estate agent window a three bed in Stroud Green. Do it!

For 950k!