i don't want to bang on (much) but she is undoubtedly overworked and underpaid. she probably gets 23926796 calls each day from people saying 'i've got a listed building, what am i allowed to do' - thing is it's so individual to specific properties and dependent on so many things.
approach her with specific questions i.e i've got an 1880's grade ii listed rectory designed by built of with (show you know what you've got and what makes it special - thus giving her a basic idea of what you're both working with). We will be asking for consent to do X, Y and Z, if i email you some pictures and specifications can you give me some guidance and and advice on a, b and c'. make sure you're aiming for something productive.
do as much research, so you sound informed as you possibly can, look up the list description (though it'll probably be only a few lines), look at the Victoria County History (lots is online now) and learn why your building is considered important. it might just be group / setting value, in which case interior alteration will be far less onerous than if it were, say, the last surviving example of a specific, indiginous kind of vernaclular architecture in materials only used within a 10 mile radius
sorry, boring, long, preachy
good luck, it'll be an amazing adventure :)