What Insane Quirks in Your Home...

[Notasinglefuckwasgiven]

Drove you mad when you moved in? What madness from its past life did you find? And why do you absolutely love your home even though it has the lurgy...?

Petitgrain wow!

WizardofToss - our spiders may be related! The main room here has a 20ft vaulted ceiling too, and in one corner lurks spideyzilla, the Godfather of all the Arachne kingdom!

Also, because mine was a school - amongst other things - before it became a residence, the pupils have, in time honoured tradition inscribed the outside walls with 100's of initials such as - PG.1703 , to KT .1966 - all in neat little boxes.

Oooh, those lights were from Lidl!

I know this, because someone I know fitted them in a narrowboat....

I bought a house with a concrete kitchen. Seriously, someone had thought it kitsch or cool, but I just thought despite it being 'polished' it was dull and very grey. They even built it around the radiator with a grille on top which the cats loved and meant they were for ever wanting to lie on what was in effect the kitchen work surface. The 'foundations of the aforementioned kitchen went into the floor so cost of removing was about twice as much as the reasonably priced kitchen I dreamed of. We moved. That kitchen defeated me, it's only redeeming feature was that it was indestructible so I never worried about when we had a party. The people who bought from us we're going to change it but we hear they now rent it out and the concrete kitchen is now a talking point amongst tenants about its bizarreness.

We moved into our 1950s detached (with a seventies extension) on Wednesday.

We have a lovely brick fireplace running the length of the living room, complemented by an illuminated recess, for my special ornaments.

This is illuminated by a shaving light, and you can see the little pull string hanging down

We have different light switches on every wall, including a dimmer for a light that doesn't dim.

The kitchen units are apparently recycled from another house and when you open the doors they twat each other.

My son has a different door knob on every one of his fitted cupboards.

Our piece de resistance though, is an air-conditioning unit that is bolted to the dining area wall. The power cable runs down the wall and when we switched it on (curiosity) it sounded like a 747 was taking off in the garden

It'll be lovely when it's finished

New, ridiculously bad, thing

The fucking fucker is built on sand.

Seriously. It's 500m back from the prom, but apparently in the 1880s this was all dunes. And it was levelled and houses were built on it. It does explain the damp in the cellar, though. And the wonky floors at the back of the house (where there is no cellar). The kitchen's foundations are three bricks on top of said sand.

The breakfast room's joists are rotten/nommed by woodworm and the "main" joist across the middle of the room is being held up by a pile of nine (loose - not cemented or anything) bricks, just sitting on top of the sand.

My builders found this out when they took the lean-to down and started the foundation works for the extension that's meant to house the best part of the kitchen/diner.