help me choose where to live - does this magical mythical place exist?

[addstudentdinners2]

Our budget is 350k, we have 50k deposit. That is our absolute max, and with DH commuting to London and what we'd spend on travel we'd prefer to be spending more around the 330-340 mark.

Min 2 bedrooms, prefer 3 but 2 is fine. Prefer garden but not 100 per cent essential. Prefer house but perfectly open to a nice flat/maisonette.

We want:

1. Less than an hours' train journey to London (I desperately wanted to stay in London itself as I am born and bred but I think it's impossible on our budget for what we want - please say if you know somewhere in London I might be overlooking)

2. Area not too dull. I would die of boredom living somewhere there was a big Tesco, a school, some houses and not much else. No offence meant to those who currently live in such places, but it's just not for me. Would love to live somewhere there was a nice high street with a different mix of shops/cafes etc.

3. Good community of families with kids. Ideally fairly diverse mix of people (ie, from different social backgrounds and ethnic groups)

4. Ideally near nice countryside/park/large area of green for dog walking etc.

5. Area relatively safe to walk around late etc.

6. not massively bothered re: schools as long as there are some there.

I had considered Cambridge as that provides all of the above but it seems to be too expensive for us :( Ditto St Alban's (please feel free to contradict me).

Am I being completely unrealistic, and if so can anyone recommend some places to buy where I could achieve at least some of the above?

Thanks very much!

I think you should stay in London if you desperately want to. WOuld you be happpy in a 2 bedroom flat? There must be places where you can get a flat for 350k

(I speak from experience, I moved out of London and then for various reasons moved back again. I don't regret moving back at all).

We live in north kent on the high speed rail link. 10 min walk from station and 30 min train ride to kings cross. Parks and fields nearby yet town centre and plenty going on and blue water just down the road. Plenty of 3 bed houses here for under 300k we bought a 4 bed last year at 250k.
Downsides are bits of town are a bit run down but I feel safe etc. Train costs are high but that is copeable with.

Thank you everyone!

Henrietta, I really am in two minds about staying as yes we can afford to buy in London but not in a nice area. I'm really spoiled at the moment because we're renting in Islington.

Didn't think we could afford tunbridge wells, will revisit that. Really helpful info here, thanks everyone. Will now visit a few of these places and make my shortlist!!

Check out Buckinghamshire. There are lovely towns and villages to choose from. Amersham or chesham could work and are on the met and chiltern line.

I wouldn't recommend Chesham - it may be on the met line but there are only two an hour and there is little there ....

Berkhampsted is nice....

You won't get much in Berkhamsted for £350k. Your money would go further in Tring, but it's almost exactly the sort of place described in your OP as where you don't want to live

Worth looking at the villages around the M3 corridor. The commute is a drive to Woking or Brookwood and then onto the fast (when SWT is working) line into Waterloo. Places like Bagshot, Lightwater, Frimley, Frimley Green still have a definite villagey feel and remain affordable -ish as they don't have good stations. 3 bed semi with nice garden will be £330K-£360K or one like ours which needs an exorcism work for £300K. Nice places to live, the downside is the commute into the city is 1hr 20 door-door though to be honest, it will be from many of the other places mentioned on this thread

Brockley/Honor Oak/Forest Hill are fairly buzzy and good for kids, but out of your price range now. However, of course nothing like Islington. If you could compromise on a garden flat you would maybe be ok. Beckenham is worth a look - I know lots of people who are moving there for the family life and bigger houses but it's cheaper for now.

Also forgot Sydenham which has a great High Street I think - more like 'old' Lewisham with a mix of people and not as gentrified as Forest Hill etc.

You would easily get a Victorian house in Central chesham (walking distance to the met line station) for that budget. An improving high street. Pretty multicultural and some beautiful countryside.

Here are a couple of examples from Chesham

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-51402068.html

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-51085616.html

Everywhere is a compromise. If you want the same feel as Upper Street, you would prefer Berkhamsted. However, Berkhamsted is a lot more expensive, a lot less diverse and only a 10 minute car drive away.

Though, as others have said up thread, in your position, I would think very carefully about whether you really wanted to leave London. I would maybe keep an open mind and do some rightmove searches of 10 miles from W1. You might be surprised at what you come up with.

What about Uxbridge or Ruislip? Technically London, although only just, but on two tube lines. You could prob get a 2 bed house with a garden in the cheaper bits of Ruislip (South or Gardens)

Op you would get a nice 2bed flat, possibly 2bed house in beckenham/penge/elmers end/sydenham for your budget good transport links, beckenham has good high st lots of cafe & coffee shops, some really decent restaurants, good open spaces.

Hitchin

I'd recommend Ham, easy commute into Richmond or Kingston. Twickenham and Isleworth are also great if your ok to live under the Heathrow flight path.

But Ham, glorious place with riverside walks, great pubs and a lovely villagey feel.

second south croydon, its actualkyvquite naice, or a bit further out towards Sanderstead, Caterham. Half hour or so to London Bridge. Central croydon still got room to improve but its definitely hapenning. TBH you don't even need to go there as most people shop locally and go to London for work/shopping/socialising as so easy to get too. West Croydon still very real to be sure but you can completely avoid it.

Ham is out of op's budget I would think?

Train fares are eye waveringly expensive, if I was stretching myself i would want to stay in London zones myself if I could, Catford zone 3 definitely on the up, a small terrace house, needing a bit of work, only just still within price range and the market is hotting up again.You need to be on right move daily and view as soon as properties come to market.
Bromley just about doable, zone 5 but fast train from Bromley South 17 minutes to Victoria. You could, only just, get a small house or a spacious maisonette. www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-50325806.html the park right near this has a huge park, minutes from the station. www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-51623510.html.

Not all of Ham is vair posh though. I used to live off Ashburnham road in a lovely, quiet culdesac with willow trees. ??

Download the Zoopla app, OP, little flags pop up and you can do virtual tours on each property.

Thank you everyone, lots of places and things to think about!

I've worked out with train fares and a smaller mortgage we would be better off outside London, just.

Very interested in Hitchin, looks like exactly the kind of place I was looking for. I'll visit a few other places you've suggested too.

I've been thinking loads about living in London vs: living outside and I think if I'm being honest with myself I only want to live here if I can live somewhere that's already nice (ie, not somewhere that's on the way up but may not be there for a few years). I also have a fairly severe anxiety disorder and do often find the crowds and busy-ness get a bit overwhelming for me. I also think a two bed flat would be fine for a few years, maybe even 5/6, but we will eventually outgrow it and I don't see that we could afford to upsize in London. Perhaps the solution is to buy a two bedder in London and then move out. I don't know!!

We do have to wait til next year to buy, so it's possible London prices will be prohibitively high by then.

Having made the move out of London 2 years ago I would say it also really depends where you are in life. Do you have children? If so how old are they?

If you have young children or you are planning to have them the success of your move will really be helped by being part of a primary school community, it makes a massive difference.

We moved with secondary aged children, we did look at Hitchin/letchworth (couldn't help but compare with London and it seemed second best) but ended up further out in a village (heart ruled head over a house) and I really miss being part of the community in the way I was in London.

If my children were smaller I'm sure I would be happier as I would have better links, but as it is we have struggled to find like minded people and our social life is still in London.

I love my house but feel I have lost out in too many ways and no house is worth it, but it's hard as we don't really want to leave the house, but living in a small village just makes me feels like I'm dead at times, mind you I think we are also in the wrong village.

We now have the dilemma of do we stay or go back to London knowing we can no longer afford to live where we did (very desirable part of N London) and like you have no desire to live somewhere on the way up having done that so often in the past (we lived in London for 27 years).

Hitchin is nice and has a slight edge to it, it's not all posh and fake, very easy to get to London and lovely countryside around, you can get a decent cup of coffee, meal out and haircut and the market is interesting. I don't know anything about the primary schools but think they are generally ok.

The problem re affordability in London is it's almost always impossible to bridge the gap when you want to move up. We did try and move to something bigger when we were in London but the gap was always too big and I don't think that will ever change, so you have to have a massive pay increase or have a large injection of cash from somewhere to allow you to move up the ladder, that was part of our decision to move out of London, that wish to have something bigger, but I now think it was slightly misguided.

itscold thanks, I can really relate to what you said. We don't have any DC yet, we will be TTC our first in about six months' time so would be starting a life outside of London with kids from scratch IYSWIM.

I am a fairly introverted, non-social person and tbh my life in London currently involves my family (would definitely be a wrench to leave my family but I think my mum would eventually follow me to wherever I decide to move to) and a couple of friends and work colleagues. My closest friends actually don't live here as they are from my uni days and are dotted around the country/world.

I know I will have to get over the introversion to a certain extent when I have DC or I will never make friends, but thought I might find this easier to do in a smaller community.

I know exactly what you mean about bridging the gap when you want to move up; I kind of feel like yes we could buy a two bedder now but then by the time we have outgrown it I will have already formed a community around me and will then have to start again from scratch which is hard for me to do given how shy I am...