Anyone given up a big garden?

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A beautiful house has just come up on the market on our road. It's about 50% bigger than ours, with beautiful big elegant spaces and stunning period features. However, it's got a very small garden, whereas our house has 0.4 acres.

We are planning on extending ours - we have planning permission but struggling to find a good, available, affordable builder. After extending it would still be significantly smaller, less well laid out, less elegant. Our house is quirky and extended in various ways as it is, so extending is not very cost-effective. On the other hand, neither are stamp duty and estate agents! And obviously we would have the big garden.

The other house would probably cost a little more than our extending our house, but possibly not that much more - it's hard to know exactly what this would go for and what ours would fetch.

DH is clearly not interested at all. He thinks we shouldn't give up the garden. But I'm not so sure. What do we actually use the garden for, apart from to look at (and maintain!). There is still a quiet, attractive, private space to sit in. In fact, there is even a swimming pool, even though the garden is no way big enough! Children are early years of secondary now, so getting past the playing outside stage. DS can always kick a ball at the nearby park where there is more space than our garden. But what about the grandchildren...? (quite serious - we intend to live in this area for ever)

This is one time when location isn't an issue since it is identical, but the houses are anything but!

Sooooo - would you considering trading down garden to trade up house? Have you ever chosen house over garden? How did it work out? Interestingly, my parents did. I had basically left home by then, but had a much younger sister at home.

I think I'm going to have to have a look anyway. Then I'll know whether I really love it or not.

sounds like you need to have a look at it first. Then if you have no idea how much you would get for your own house get an agent round to look - you could use the one this house is on with as they would be very chuffed to get 2 sales out of it! Costs might help you decide whether or not you could do it. We had to downsize about 4 years go, both house and garden - I didn't mind getting the smaller garden as I do all the gardening myself and kids are early 20s now (but still at home!) but do wish we could have stayed in the bigger house as that would have been perfect for kids coming back after uni - but financially we had no choice. Weigh up all the pros and cons. Good luck.

Wouldn't it depend on what 'really small' means? Is that postage stamp style courtyard that can only fit in a small table and a couple of chairs/pretty flowering pots, or does it have a patio and grassed area, so if/when DG arrive they can still potter a bit? We moved house and upscaled the garden but our kids are under 7 so it was perfect for us. Previously our garden was so small that you had to haul the garden table up onto the postage stamp grass when you wanted to sit out (that was a bit grating after while). I do know one person who downsized with garden saying her 6 and 8 year old 'hardly ever used their bigger one' and guess what, she is moving again (less than 3 years later) to a much bigger gardened one 'for the kids'.

Not as small as that Cacofonix! There is a postage stamp style courtyard at the back. But the main garden is at the front (still private). The house and garage probably take up about half the plot - but it's a big house.

Oh I know I need to look first bilbodong - but at the moment I can't convince DH that it isn't totally mad!

We've spoken to estate agents recently - we know as much as they do about how much our house is worth, but both this house and the one for sale are real one-offs and very hard to value accurately.

Well, I guess this is very personal. Five years ago I moved to a house with my first ever garden (and I'm 50! A lifetime of living in flats over main roads). The garden is big by my standards - 90ft - but probably not yours. I find it completely oppressive, tbh - such a lot of work and we barely use it. The kids aren't that bothered (urban children!). I would actually prefer a small manageable garden - even a courtyard!

However, I'm clearly not a garden person, and your husband is. If being in a garden gives you huge joy, then I guess you just have to decide what that joy is worth to you. And if it's just for the grandchildren to run around in - well, how much are you prepared to pay for that experience? If money is no object, great. But the cost of that garden would, say, go a long way towards helping out your children get onto the property ladder themselves?

So I think I'm suggesting that you think long and hard about what the garden actually costs you, and what it gives you, and go with what is really important to your quality of life, not some abstract notion of what you 'should' do.

Sounds as if your dh is objecting because he thinks it is madness in principle to give up garden, as though garden is always A Good Thing. But surely so is big elegant living spaces?

We did exactly what you describe. We had a smaller house with a large garden. It was becoming a pain to keep up with and our DC no longer played out in it (teens now). In our new house we have three parks minutes walk away and countryside less than 5 minutes walk away.

Our house is about 50% bigger than our old house too. We love the space inside which more than makes up for any lost garden area. The garden is still a garden but much smaller and so much easier to just sit out in when it's nice rather than doing tons of work first. We have three seating areas, decking, a large patio, lots of plants in beds and pots and a few small trees, just no grass. It has a hedge and fence around so is very private, but still sunny. For the amount of time we spend in the garden it's fine. Plus on nice days we go out a lot in the countryside.
It works well for us.

I don't think that's entirely true Devora. I think it's partly true, and was for me too - this is definitely quite a new possibility that hadn't occurred to me before. I always ruled out houses with smaller gardens before. But he does spend a lot of time gardening and I think he enjoys it at least as much as he thinks of it as a chore that has to be done. I, on the other hand, just sit in it and look at it!

It's just such a personal decision, we gave up a 'big' garden but as we both hate gardening with a passion it wasn't a sacrifice at all. . Our DS is now a teenager so the days of 'playing in the garden' are long gone. We have more than enough space and privacy to sit out, have a bbq, still have a lawn and lots of weeds etc.

Go and look.

We gave up a 120ft garden last year for a 60ft one, with a bigger house with a far better layout (but also in a worse area). The main thing being we were buying instead of renting, so the huge garden and lovely street would never be ours properly.

I miss our garden terribly, we have tried to cram all our stuff into the new garden and I have planted about 15 trees but it will be many years before it is anywhere near as lovely

Mainly I miss the privacy. The peace and quiet on a sunny day, with high hedges and trees all around and you cannot replicate that. However our new house is much nicer than the old one and we have privacy there in a different way.

I can understand your dilemma but would be inclined to keep the garden IIWY.

We've done something similar a couple of times - when DS had just turned eighteen and gone off to uni we downsized (house as well as garden). The house was still a fairly decent size, just not as daunting to clean as the previous 3500 sq ft! The garden though was much smaller than we'd been used to and, whilst it wrapped around all four sides of the house, it felt cramped and not terribly private. The set up you describe sounds much preferable to this though!

After three years we hated the lack of large lawn and no big trees so we ensured we had plenty of both at the new house (Georgian) we purchased next - a third of an acre with small orchard and huge lawn and original privy!......

Mowing it was such a pita though - and DH wouldn't let me get a sit on mower - so with our latest move in 2014, whilst it was important not to go postage stamp tiny, we wanted something a bit smaller. It also needed to accomodate our fifty-odd planters, various benches and other garden stuff but not the bloody hot tub though.

Think we have around a fifth of an acre now, still with plenty of trees and very private, which feels just right!

I'd definitely want to go to view the other house OP - it sounds lovely - if nothing else than to rule it out......

I just moved from a small garden to even smaller, a courtyard, but since it is walled, not overlooked and surrounded by trees in the estate (outside the garden) and visible woods outside the estate it feels greener and better. My DC are 7 and 4 by the way. The size of the garden they would like (a football stadium) I would not be able to upkeep.

Reading with interest. We're trading in an 80ft garden for about 10ft! (although fairly wide). The past couple of years, I just haven't gardened much and our garden is a bit of a state (my favourite rose just up and died last year, I took it as a sign!). I will miss the apples, pears and plums though .

We are just about to move from postage stamp 'garden' to 1/3 acre with lawn and fruit trees etc but getting worried by all these posts that in fact we may have left it too late as our kids are 7/10 and 11 and by the sounds of it will soon no longer be interested in going in the garden!

Grinstead not necessarily - the buyers of our last house (with third of an acre) had DC aged 8, 12 and 15 and they all loved the idea of having such a large space to have fun in. Have to say the stream, trees and hot tub helped too, lol!

Otoh, DS was never into kicking a ball about and even though he'd gone to uni by the time we moved to the one with 1/3 acre, he never really made the most of the second largest garden we had.

Depends on the DC.....

Mine are 6,6,9 and virtually never play in it. It may be because we are 2 minutes walk from a huge, huge piece of parkland so we go there for football and picnics as it is much better mown than my garden!

Thank you everyone - it's been interesting to see different views and opinions. I've been thinking about it some more (rather a lot more actually) and I think that, for us at least, DH is probably right - the garden would be too much to give up. I would definitely be willing to go a bit smaller for the right house (DH might disagree) but not that much smaller. Even if I don't spend that much time in it, I really enjoy looking out at the garden wrapped all round us and the aspect from this other house would definitely not be the same. And I love having lots of people round and being able to spill out from the house into all different parts of the garden and not get in each other's way. It would be different if we really needed more space and this was the only way to get it, but we don't really. It's a pity, it's a lovely house and I've always admired it walking past - but I always thought there must be a bit more garden around the back! But then I wouldn't be able to afford it. Sigh.

Just moved from a very large house and garden to smaller house and garden.

Teens just dont use a garden like small children do. We do not want to be left just the two of us in a big house with a garden we cant look after.

That said my concern about this house as described is that it is a big house that has had its garden chopped off to build a house in next to it. That a ruins a big house and makes it unattractive

I just landscaped and replanted the new garden so its nicer than our old big (rented house) garden.

I have a 120 foot garden I will not miss when I sell next year.
Ex h looked after it ...I rarely set foot in it . Hate gardening and don't like the sun.

Will be happy with a small courtyard.

I think it is going to be quite hard to sell MoreBeta. It would be fine in London or another city, but this is a village and big houses tend to have much bigger gardens. Even quite small houses have bigger gardens. But then again, there may be someone who doesn't like gardens.

I can't quite work out why there is so little garden. It's not entirely obvious. There are two little old terraced cottages (about the same age as the house) kind of attached to it at the back which is strange. Not unattractive, but strange.

I does sound unsaleable. Problem is house and garden are imbalanced.

The cottages sound quite close as well. Leave it.

Post a link! I'm intrigued now....

Oooh, me too Daffodilpots but I was too chicken to say so

If you want, look on rightmove for Goring (reading), added in last 7 days, 6 bed. You'll find it.

It's an awful lot of money but it's a very expensive spot so I don't know whether it's necessarily particularly overpriced.

I've decided it would be daft for us - but I've always liked the house from the outside so was excited to see it was for sale and that the price was within stretching distance.

Believe it or not, I suspect someone round here will "downsize" into it.