House for elderly parents who are finally downsizing

[IrianofWay]

My parents are 84 this year. Both have developed health problems in the last 7 years or so and finally have accepted that they can no longer cope with their beautiful 3.5 acre garden (on a slope!). Mum hasn't been down to her greenhouse at the bottom of the garden for nearly a year. Dad had what they think was a TIA a few weeks ago and is not allowed to drive currently. Mum is a very nervous driver and hates to drive after dark at all. So the car may be gone in the next year or so.

I have been trying gently to suggest this for a while now. But I couldn't really do more even though I have seen them deteriorating, the garden getting out of control and dad getting more down-hearted about it.

So..... the house goes on the market this week.

We are thinking bungalow, reasonable (.5 acre) garden but it needs to be more or less flat, walking distance of shop/pub/cafe or at least a bus stop. I want them to be less than 5 miles from me - currently they are 14 miles away which isn't that far but far enough when one of them is ill and I want to see them daily. I want to be able to help them out and just pop in regularly.

Dad is talking about going into a retirement village in their current village. Mum is horrified at the idea! Anyway it appears to be eye-wateringly expensive to get anything nice.

Does anyone, who may have been there, have any advice to what we have to look for as a new home for them?

Oh dear. What I was getting at was, if they could afford to, they could totally redesign their own new garden. If they bought a bungalow with a horrible garden, they could transform it into something they like. A garden designer and a contractor can do the hard work! It is costly, but it would give them a lot of pleasure and they don't have to accept someone else's grotty gravel. My mum put in a pond (she has now converted it to a patio because the maintenance of it became a bit stressful). She chose her plants, fruit trees and an arbour. She is now 91, but still doing nearly everything! Try and get your Mum to see beyond the gravel and look at the possibilities for transformation. Lots of small gardens near me are in the Open Gardens schmeme for charity. They are fantastic! You could start going round some of these near you, not the big grand ones of course, for ideas.

At 84 they need to anticipate a life where any gardening or driving will be done by someone else. Can they afford that? Otherwise they need to move somewhere without a garden.

Buses are hopeless - old people don't have the strength to carry shopping and wait at bus stops.