How long until you give up waiting to find your dream house and settle for one that will do?

[ojbsmum]

Just that really.
We've been looking for a while. We know what we want but have quickly realised we will never be able to afford that in an area we want.
So, do we wait in the hope something miraculous will happen- a kind soul will sell their house at bargain basement price to us, or we get a premium bond win maybe.
Or do we go with something that is ok, that we like and could make work but don't have that 'wow, we've got to have it' feeling about?
Finding the whole house hunting thing very stressful and feeling a bit down about it today...

Well I wouldn't give up. Everytime I've bought a property ive had a budget that's just a bit under the average and yet I've always found one ive loved. In some cases there've been compromises ie. Living on a busy road, sacrificing a garden (pre dc), buying a do-er upper. Keep your mind open and you might just find the right thing.

It took me 5 years to find, and buy, our dream house. It has taken another 5 to save the money we needed to extend and do it up.

I think it's been well worth the wait as we're here for the long haul.

I do think you've got to be realistic though. It's not the 6 bedroom period detatched I hoped I would end up with, but I did get 'that feeling' when I walked in.

ojbsmum
I am probably a great deal older than you and have therefore moved more times.
With houses, there is always IME a compromise. My advice would be don't hang out for a miracle. In housing terms, they rarely if ever happen.
Choose between area and house and decide which one you are prepared to compromise on. Work out your budget so that if you find something that needs a bit of work to make it more what you want - you have it.
Don't hang out for a pipe dream.

Could you say a bit more - is it your first house, or a move, whereabouts - no problem if you would rather not say.

Once you have your priorities in order and a realistic idea as to what you can afford where, that will help. We bought 2 houses which were best we could afford at the time , then one which was a dream house (to us - others would laugh, a mansion it wasn't) , the house we now live in we bought with our heads, but now we have done it - location good, space bit small but what we could afford in area, decorated it all to our taste and we love it. It wasn't a walk in and wow house but it felt better each time I thought about it and saw it . I could see us being here for pretty much forever.

Buying houses is stressful. It is for everyone. I have read stories of billionaires who have not been able to get the house of their dreams because the person who owned it wouldn't sell!
Please don't get down - you are not alone.
THW

It's just so frustrating! This will be my 4th purchase, 2 alone, 1 with husband. Stakes seem much higher now with kids/schools etc to think about.
We live Surrey/Hants border, so pretty expensive area. Our top budget is a meagre £300,000.
For that we want three decent bedrooms, not two doubles and a tiny box. Usable garden for the kids to play in, doesn't have to be huge. Kitchen overlooking the garden. No stairs in living room. A nice area, safe, as this will be our only move before the kids leave home (barring a massive windfall!)
We didn't realise these were going to be such unrealistic aspirations!

Can you get a 2 or 2.5 bed that is a candidate for future loft conversion? Remember, you can probably move a kitchen and maybe even stairs.
Can you compromise on the garden if local parks are good?

Make location your top priority; you can't change that.

I agree on viewing everything. There are always some surprises to be had.

We have looked at everything within our budget. Today's gems were either covered in mould or on an estate which looked like Shameless could be filmed there.
We have found one and had an offer accepted but just don't feel sure about it. The location is fab but it's not a style we particularly like, it's a characterless box at the minute and needs lots doing to it. As it will take every penny we have to buy it we won't be able to actually do anything for ages. I think I could be ok with that. DH is terrified, of having no money in reserve, of rushing into it, of missing out if something better comes along...
I totally get that and don't know what I want to do at all...

Just to say - I agree with Clive and Rudy - I came to view our current house thinking - well nothing else on the market - I'll just see. 3 viewings in, I was convinced we could make it "ours" and we have. I thought I knew what I wanted and 3 years later am glad I did not hold out for that.

We didn't realise these were going to be such unrealistic aspirations! Nobody who lives in an expensive area ever does .
Agree, especially with young children, look at schools and safe area. You can fix other things. We moved our kitchen completely to a different room, it has made the house feel hugely different. Also, and others will disagree with me, if, as Clive says, you have open space near you, it is not always necessary to have a big garden. DCs have never had a garden with a lawn but we did live a stone's throw from a park.
Do you know the schools you want - could you work from there?

x post - if the location is fab it is worth looking at. It's such a cliche but you can't change location. My house was utterly characterless but good area. If you want advice do PM - understand if not.

But I reiterate - the daydream where the perfect house comes up at a steal and you are the only people going for it does not in my experience happen At some point you need to decide and do something.

Agree about looking at everything.

The one we're in now, which I fell in lovewith at first sight when viewing, was one I only decided to view on a whim to rule it out.

Lots more houses will come on the market in the next month or so, I expect.

And all houses involve compromises of some sort, even if your budget is sky high.

We did this
House had sold and we didn't want to lose good buyers
Bought the make do house
Currently in middle of huge project on make do house and actually think it will become nearly dream house
Thing is in2 yrs since we moved ice seen virtually nothing I'd have liked any more than make do, and there decided we didn't make do but made potential
Would recommend something with potential if you don't mind a new life in b&q and Howdens...

Great advice.

Agree with everyone on look at everything.

It took us a year to find this house. In that time, we became clear on what was important and how much we really wanted to spend. Our house is in a village I'd previously pretty much dismissed. It ticked all our boxes and has been a great place to live. I love it here.

Sadly, we now need to move again for circumstances a bit beyond our control.

Agree with pp you always have a compromise because no matter your budget you always have a 'must have' list then realise you can't quite afford everything on that list. We moved recently after a long search and a few failed purchases. In the end we have a wonderful character house with loads of space and enormous garden (a must for the kids) but we moved slightly out of the area we initially wanted to get it (still a nice area just not the one we wanted at first). And we still compromised, as I said I wanted to just paint and do no building work and guess what, we have to do building work to get it as we want. It was frustrating as we had an extremely healthy budget and still couldn't get exactly what we wanted. There is always a compromise!

It's been good to read all these replies. Thank you!
We have pretty much decided to go with the house we've seen that we think we could grow to love and make our forever home, even though it doesn't have that 'wow' feeling at the moment. Doesn't help that I took my parents to see it and neither of them liked it... :(
We will keep an eye on rightmove and if something amazing comes along we'll definitely check it out but until then... We'll be making potential too, chchchchanging, I like that!

Have read this with interest. Just sold house for second time (first time it all fell thru the day before exchange) and don't want to lose another set of buyers - that would be careless ! But there is so little on the market in the area we currently live. It is very disheartening. Have found myself going back and seriously considering properties we previously viewed and really didn't like! Seen one house that I would like to buy as it has potential but DH is dragging his heels. Keeps saying something else might come on. Very frustrating. There is some good advice on here. Good luck OP!

This is really disheartening I know, but with us, it was after a sale had fallen through on what was the 'dream house'.

I was OBSESSED with location, and thought that I couldn't be more than 2 minutes from a certain street. I dismissed where we bought first time because it is a whole 5 minutes away

Turns out a fab garden, high ceilings, orginal tiles in the hallway and the potential to turn this into a beautiful home that we can stay in forever with mostly cosmetic changes won in the end. Its just that I didn't realise that when I was so sodding focussed on being as close as humanly possible to a certain area.

We're stuck not being able to find anything as well, we've viewed absolutely everything in budget already and nothing else has come on the market for ages.
We're limited with time because we're in a rental and only have 5 more months to find and buy something. So I think we're going to end up having to buy something we don't really want just because we need somewhere to live. It's very depressing.

Interesting post and agree that ther is always a compromise.

We have 'settled' on anew build as our previous 'dream house' had a survey that showed lots more work than first apparent and way beyond budget! Bizarrely we then had a phone call from a house we had reserved 18 months ago and had sort of ruled out because of timings!

Our compromise is the garden on this property but as we face an open park area and also are ten mins walk from a country park we thought we could compromise on this as it ticks all the location boxes!

I have been worried we will see the dream property in the coming weeks but feel we cannot wait any longer as we have a buyer who really wants our house and only one other in our chain.

I suppose it depends on your circumstances and wants/needs but it has felt that the ability to move easily is more difficult with catchments, schooling, after school clubs than when my kids were toddlers....

C'est la vie ......

We took our time, we spent a fair amount of time looking online, but the house we are in the process of buying is only the second one we have inspected. The first needed too much work done on it. We knew what we wanted and we had some points that we weren't going to compromise on. It took 3 years to find this one.

good to know it wasnt just us who took so many months to find something. have been looking since last May 2014 and have now found something that we might get hopefully.

i had wished for a cottage with lovely garden, 2 or 3 good size bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, a lounge with doors opening to garden and kitchen overlooking garden. All so realistic, not really a massive dreamhouse tbh but with the price increase of 2014 in london all this became completely out of reach in our suburb.

Finally we have found a bungalow, which has 3 small bedrooms, a bathroom and seperate wc, small lounge and kitchen overlooking a medium sized garden. Compromised on size and a bit on location as it is further away from station than i wished for.

It does have that lovely cottage of my own feeling which i was looking for. Hopefully we will be able to save up in coming years and will be able to replaster it, extend it, get a new kitchen etc. For now all i wish for is we get it and hopefully can fit everything we have somehow!

I live London. I will never be able to afford my dream house. There is always compromise in expensive areas, often masses of it. Where I live now is a good location and we have enough space, but the house will never, ever be beautiful.

I've learned to love it, though. Over 5 years, with pretty much zero budget, I have made it look as handsome as it can. I've painted every bit of it myself, haunted ebay and car boot sales, upcycled like crazy. It's still not a dream home but it is a labour of love and I get great pleasure from seeing how far it has come. I almost prefer it to all the Victorian, period features, farrow and ball shaker kitchen, spick and span places that we couldn't afford - we would have only made them look worse, whereas we have coaxed this ugly into something quite pleasing and full of character.

So I wouldn't be put off too much by your bland find. Look at it as a creative challenge. Expect it to take five years. Take lots of before and after photos and stick them in a scrapbook (I wish I had done this!). There is no house that can't be made to look lovely, if you give it enough love.

Devora,
Thanks for your encouraging words. I hope we will get it and my hardwork will turn into a lovely home.

For all those who are still looking,
it is not easy for anyone and specially those living in and around London with crazy prices, so dont give hope and keep looking and think about what you can compromise on and what you could postpone for future and that would help to find something that will be your new home.

We're in the process of moving from a 2-bedroom flat in London zone 3, to a 4-bedroom detached house in Surrey. Certainly some compromises had to be made.

Compared to my "dream house" the one we're buying now is:

• Not in London and not near family
• Needs a lot of modernisation
• On a busy road
• Not the ideal layout in terms of kitchen and bathrooms
• No south-facing garden

But we got it at a price we can afford (about 10% less than asking price) and it ticks a lot of more important boxes:

• Within catchment area of good schools
• It's big and has a large garden (compared to what we're used to)
• Easy for OH to commute to work
• Potential job prospects in the area for me

Ultimately you need to decide what's more important for you, and what can you compromise on? If you're more willing to compromise than other people, you can bid on houses that other people won't bid on, and potentially get it at a good price. Keep an open mind.