Can a house be TOO big?

[Sandp08]

We were looking into putting a kitchen extension on the back of our house to give us a larger living room and a separate dining room, unfortunately our neighbours are not happy with sharing their wall (despite previously saying it would be ok) and to put our own wall in would make the existing doorway into the extension a bit tight. It has taken us a long time deciding whether to extend or move and I am now back to thinking about moving instead, especially since our neighbour was quite nasty to us diring the discussions.
In order to get the downstairs living arrangement I would like with s decent sized garden, we would be looking at possibly a 4 bedroom house. The thing is, our children have grown up and left home (although dd is a bit of a boomerang) so my question is, do you think a 4 bed house is too excessive for us? We have a grandchild due soon and would be looking after it when my dil goes to work and we have family overseas who sometimes come to stay. We also need a bedroom as a study for my husband to work from home.

Can you afford to run a larger home? It doesn't have to be a forever move!

I definitely think a house can be too big. A bigger house adds greatly to the cleaning and maintenance needed - I had no idea the extent of this until we moved here. Our old kitchen, for example, was galley style with a very small floor area and cleaning the floor took seconds with a disposable wipe. Now our kitchen-through-utility room has at least 8 times the floor area, and cleaning it is a significant job.

So yes a house can be too big, but that doesn't mean that a 4 bed house would be too big for you. You were looking at extending anyway so it sounds like the right thing for you. And as you say it's about the living space really, not the number of bedrooms.

My parents still live in the 4 bedroom house that I grew up in, even though me and my brother left home 20 odd years ago. They seem to have expanded their activities to fill the space! They enjoy having enough room for grandchildren to stay too.

All too often houses, especially newer ones, are too small downstairs. The living accommodation is not proportionate to the number of bedrooms. Eg when the garage is built in or built over.

This sounds perfect for you: you don't want a house for 5 people to live in, you want a house for 3 people plus occasional guests. So a house with living accommodation for 3 beds - one of which can be a single - plus a master suite over the garage, could work out well. What you ought to avoid would be a 4-bed, 3-bath, 3-reception type place: too much upkeep.

It 's just so hard finding the right property. I really don't need/want 3 bathrooms but ensuites have become so fashionable that it seems almost unavoidable. I also have some mobility issues so sm conscious of the extra work although I'm hoping that extra storage would mean clearer spaces therefore easier to clean.
I am struggling with leaving the house I raised my children in and feel guilty that we all squashed in like sardines and now they have gone we would have ample space if we do upsize. Hubby and I do have plenty of hobbies to utilise the extra space but I'm also a bit of a hoarder which is controlled at the moment by lack of space lol.

Hoarders should never be allowed more space

My inlaws live in a 4,500 sqft house. It's way too big and it only feels right when we extended family stay over. There is constant maintenance, which i frankly would not do often enough if I lived here. It costs a bomb in utility bills. If anything breaks down, it costs a bomb to fix as the systems are large. Replacing the roof was ££££. It takes a bloody age to find something you've lost. Some rooms are not walked into for days. They are simply paying money to heat dead space. I'm always over there, and I always find some chore I need to do.

I think happiness lies in living in a home where you are using at least 90% of your home all of the time. That means no umpteen unused guest rooms, no rooms just for dumping (that's what good storage is for), no bathrooms you never use. For the two of us, our sweet spot is 2000-2500 sqft. That's how much we need for all of our things, plus almost all the space is used everyday.

Yes definitely.
We downsized from 5 beds, 4 baths on returning to the UK - so much free time now I'm not cleaning all the time. We went a bit overboard going down to a 2 bed with large conservatory but it's fine - even when DS is back from uni it's ok and our utility bills are really low. There are occasions when another loo or an extra bed would be good but we don't NEED the extra space 90% of the time.

I think a house can be too big, we have just moved from big house to a small one, and even with dcs it is so much more relaxing.

The utility bills are a fraction of the old ones and the house is warm and cosy. There are not lots of rooms we never use.

We thought family and friends would comes and stay more in the big house, but for various reasons this was quite rare, and now I would always say that it is simply not worth keeping rooms empty for a large part of the time "just in case." There is usually somewhere nice nearby to stay, and from experience (and mumsnet!) I know that people often prefer to stay near family when visiting not with them.

God yes. I lived in a country where everyone built their own house and they always ended up far too big. Nightmare.

We've downsized from a 3 bed extended detached to a tiny 2 bed cottage and I do agree that houses can definitely be too big. We use practically all of our house everyday now instead of just having unused space to heat and clean. I'm much much happier as well because we have less junk and clutter.

Yes. A house can be too big. You want your house to be a retreat from the world or a springboard to go off and do stuff. Too big and it is a chore and an occupation in itself.

I really like that description, AddToBasket.

I think 4 beds doesn't sound excessive - if you have 2 grandchildren and an adult child over you all get your own rooms.

Go for it!

I should add that I live in a big house and yes it is more work but I pay other people to do that work so it's fine!

So I'd say 10,000 sq feet = too big
4 beds = completely reasonable and not excessive

Yes, a house can be too big.....but you can also be in danger of going too small IMHO.

We downsized from a 3500 sq ft Victorian house our DC went to uni as we no longer needed six large (two were 21' x 14') bedrooms. The (period) house we bought next was an unusual layout, with only two bedrooms - and bathroom - on the first floor, but no less than five reception rooms as well as a conservatory, kitchen and two shower rooms on the ground floor.

Bedroom-wise that suited our needs far better, but at 1600 sq ft it felt like too much of a downsize from what we'd been used to. Not only that but the kitchen was teensy in relation to the amount of living space. In fact apart from the main 20' square living room, all the other reception rooms were quite small. Had we felt the love for the house, we'd have opened some of the space up.....but unfortunately we didn't.

We sold that and moved to a 2500 sq ft Georgian house, but whilst that had the huge kitchen we'd been used to in the big house, the bedrooms (four) felt cramped and two had reduced head height, being the former attic rooms. After a couple of years we actually came to the conclusion the downstairs layout - three large receptions and a 36' kitchen - was too big for just the two of us!

I feel like Goldilocks writing this, but having tried house 1 (too small) and house 2 (too big), I think when we bought this house at the end of 2014 we finally found the one that's just right, lol! - 2000 sq ft with ample living space for all our bloody sofas and three/four good sized beds.....

It's been a flipping expensive experiment finding the right one though!

when our DC went to uni

I think that some rooms can be too big to be functional. Vast living rooms for instance - you need to be able to see and hear each other from sofa to sofa. Also kitchens - with too many cupboards and acres of work surfaces - why? We have a big kitchen - but most space is huge table, huge sofa.

Hmmm lots of opinions here
To put it into perspective, the houses we are looking at seem to be about 12-1400 sq ft so not huge. I'm Not sure what our present house is but I guess around the 1000 mark, so yes it is tiny. it is a 2 bed divided into 3 small bedrooms (although 2 still count as doubles). I think it's just the extra 4 th bedroom makes me feel greedy and concerned about extra hoarding. #wingsclipped I am impressed that you cut down your clutter, the thought of it fills me with panic.

Yes, a house can very easily be too large. If you aren't using most of the space every day, I think that's a sign your house is too large. The cleaning, maintenance and utilities associated with large homes is considerable and is a terrible waste of time and money for space you don't really use regularly.

If you raised your family in your house and now your kids have gone, are you sure you actually need more space?

The size of house you are looking at does not seem excessive to me. We are still in a 4 bed of around that size, after kids have left home. But they often come to stay, besides other guests. We use all the downstairs space - could certainly have done with more when kids were at home - and one of the spare bedrooms is a study/ironing room (with a TV to sweeten the ironing). There have been times, though admittedly not that often, when guests fill all the spare beds.

What I would consider too big would be the sort of house some empty-nest friends recently had a job to sell - rambling old house with 5 bedrooms, 3 receptions and a huge kitchen, too.

Would you consider a Bungalow? Then you can pick and choose which rooms to use and which and what ratio of bedrooms to day use rooms to have (and maybe give an ensuite room to dh for his office so he can stay in one place when working?)

#thinkivebeenhacked - love the idea of dh using ensuite for office. He could have a kettle and a mini fridge and not bother me all day

I'm Sure if i'd had a 4 bed while the kids were home I would not be considering downsizing, it just feels like a strange time to consider upsizing. However, if DD returns home with fiance in tow, so they can save money, then extra space would be essential. Hubby is unsure about tying up our savings given he's 55 and had plans to retire young but I'm fed up with the low interest rates and feel a higher value home might be a better investment than the die interest rates we are getting. Oh how I wish I had a crystal ball

Yes my elderly parents are still in their 4 bed and it is far too big for them now and they just hoard stuff which they wouldn't so uch if they didn't have all that space.

My dfriend lives in a HUGE house that they built themselves- upstairs seems to work better, but downstairs she basically has three massive rooms, it's quite a strange layout. She wont get a cleaner as she's too proud and says it's always a tip (it is) because she can't be bothered to clean it, it's so big. Her husband works away a lot and when her youngest is off to Uni in September she will be on her own most of the time.

If your 4 bed sounds fine for you though, go for it, you can always downsize.