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Original poster

Teach me how to take the emotion out of this making an offer business...

12 replies

heylottie · 03/10/2014 17:21

Brief background... We have finally got and accepted an offer on our house. It has taken nearly two years, and we are selling for less than we paid for it, despite many improvements. Thems the breaks, I get it.

Saw a great, perfect house for us a few weeks ago. The vendor had a sale fall through near exchange... She wants to sell, but can also rent this house out, to preserve her purchase, but I know she has to decide very soon. And obv her next house doesn't depend on selling this one, if the renting it out is an option.

Estate agents said she was open to offers, that market was quiet, and we are good buyers after a quick move. House on at 210. We offered 200. She said no, her previous offer was 205 that's what she wants. But she has had no other viewings,We came back with 203, even then we have to borrow a bit.

I was sure she would meet us here. No. She wants 205. Miraculously, house has viewings tomorrow. Yeah, ok.

Anyway. Time is marching on, there is no other house that suits us, we need to move quite quickly.

We will have to borrow the extra 2 and give her the 205. But here's the thing!

I know it's her house, I know we have to suck it up, I think it is worth it long term

But how do I get over that cross, pissed off felling that she won't compromise at all? When I call with the offer she wants, how do I do it without feeling resentful?

Does that feeling go? It feels personal when it's just business. Does this make sense?

OP posts:

roneik · 03/10/2014 20:20

Tell the agent you think your offer of 200 is fair in present marketing conditions.
Remind him about your buying status , and that many properties that are not realistically priced sit there and don't sell, requiring further reductions.

nightvision · 03/10/2014 23:53

If you think it's worth it, pay up. If you can't afford to, then go somewhere else. What have emotions got to do with this? It's business!

PurpleWithRed · 03/10/2014 23:57

She's already accepting under the asking price. Either offer what she wants or or move on. It's only an offer, the valuation might change things.

traviata · 04/10/2014 00:10

she is compromising - the house is on for 210.

How long will you live there? Over that time span, the extra 2k won't matter, even with interest on top.

to take the emotion out - speak to the agent, not the vendor. It's not the agent's house and not the agent's decision.

caroldecker · 04/10/2014 00:51

Omly you can own your response to others. She may well be being unreasonable, but you have to own your response. Either pay the money or don't, entirely your own choice.

littlemonster · 04/10/2014 11:37

You pick up the phone and say £205, she accepts and you say great, glad that's sorted. Then you start planning where your furniture will go.

You seem to be treating this as a competition. Its a business transaction. Its often repeated on here but a house is worth what someone's willing to pay at any given point. Its not personal in any way shape or form.

We have probably over offered for the house we're buying but its the only house we've seen in a location which is perfect for us and we plan on being there for a long time. We wanted that house, not any other, and therefore we are paying what the vendor wants so he doesn't sell it someone else. Its that simple. Yes we are nervous about the money, we will be stretched for quite a while, had hoped to pay less but I'm not resentful, its just the cost of getting what we want. We could choose not to buy it!

mandy214 · 04/10/2014 12:55

If you dont get it and cant find something else in the interim, presumably you'll have to go through with your sale if it has taken 2yrs to secure.

So then you're looking at rented accommodation, admin fees to have tenant checks etc. Perhaps moving costs into rental and into property when you eventually find something. That is likely to be more than the £2k extra you need to find. And you're still getting it for less than the asking price. If she got £205 before, presumably other buyers were prepared to pay £205 and its likely that others may if more viewings are organised. It would suggesg house is 'worth' £205 so whilst its costing you more, the asset is likely to be worth £205 and not £203.

foxdongle · 04/10/2014 13:04

You say "there is no other house that suits us"

Would you be ok losing it for £2k?

If I really wanted it £2k wouldn't be deal breaker.

MrsFlorrick · 04/10/2014 19:05

You mustn't feel like anyone is out to fleece you. That's a start.
You would still be getting it £5k under the asking price.

It's the old glass half full/half empty syndrome.

I know you're borrowing the £2k and £2k is money at the end of the day but you want the house.
Vendor wants to sell but only at £205k.
Your first offer was £200k. She wanted £210k. You're splitting the difference. All sounds fine to me.

Original poster

heylottie · 04/10/2014 20:04

Thank you. You are all right. I was cross last night but am thinking more rationally today! I want the house, and will stop muddying the head and heart!

OP posts:

SquinkiesRule · 05/10/2014 14:24

Offer the 205 and add that it needs to include the fridge freezer, washer dishwasher, dining table? (or any thing that you love in the house or need)

Greencheese · 05/10/2014 15:37

I was just about to say the same as squinkies

Don't loose the house, offer the 205 but then put a BUT in. That's what I did with my first house. They pushed me up by another 2.5k so I reluctantly agreed but pointed out I was a poor single first time buyer, a nurse just starting out, so I'd have no money for furniture. They ended up leaving me lovely wardrobes, cupboards, curtains , rugs etc. it was great and took the sting out of it.

Good luck.

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