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Original poster

Would you buy a house where the couple are divorcing?

31 replies

KitschinSynch · 11/08/2014 21:02

I currently looking at a nice affordable local house but have heard the couple are splitting up. I know I am probably being a bit of a wuss, but it makes me uneasy. I want a happy house!

How important is a houses history to you...

OP posts:

Bowlersarm · 11/08/2014 21:05

We bought our house from a divorcing couple. 11 years later, very happy here.

Sinkingfeeling · 11/08/2014 21:05

The house is unlikely to be the cause of their unhappy marriage.I'd be more worried that one if them was selling the house reluctantly which could cause problems for potential purchasers further down the line.

EugeneKrabs · 11/08/2014 21:06

Yes, I wouldn't think of it being in anyway the fault of the inanimate object they lived in.

AlpacaMyBags · 11/08/2014 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints · 11/08/2014 21:07

We have an old character property complete with ghost, sometimes makes me feel uneasy, other times most of the time we are fine.

We didn't buy a house once because the lady who owned it had died in a bad car accident. The house was close to the road where it happened.
You could feel misery and bereavement when you entered and we just couldn't have lived there.
It was a newish build too so wouldn't have had history of being a happy house.

Could the previous owners have been happy their or is it a new build.
I think you could make it happy if it is only divorce, as so many marriages end in divorce, you may never have your dream house if you go by this criteria.

Costacoffeeplease · 11/08/2014 21:08

Yes - we did and we're very happy there for 10 years

ClariceBeanthatsme · 11/08/2014 21:10

Yes got it for a great price too! They just wanted a quick sale
heartless bitch

hiccupgirl · 11/08/2014 21:12

I would avoid it if possible.

We got stuck in a chain with a divorcing couple at the top who just would not co-operate with each other and dragged it out for an extra month. They posted documents that got lost in the middle of a postal strike because neither would pay for a courier amongst other problems they caused.

A friend almost lost their new house to repossession due to the divorcing owners both refusing to pay the mortgage once it went on the market. They completed the day it was due to be repossessed and it did work out but the extra stress they caused was just awful.

30ish · 11/08/2014 21:14

We bought our house just over three years ago from a couple who were divorcing. We got it for a bargain price as I think they both wanted things done and dusted and they wanted the house to go to a family they knew.
We had always adored the house and they approached us to give us first refusal. They'd been married for nearly 25 years, had two children here and were happy until the dh met ow.

When we moved in, you could tell that they'd just lost interest in the house - simple DIY jobs hadn't been done and the house seemed unloved.

It's now our family home and we've redecorated, made improvements and made it our own. We've no intention of letting history repeat itself. It's a gorgeous house and has a lovely feel to it. Our future in our house is what we make of it.

Heathcliff27 · 11/08/2014 21:14

It wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't even give it a second thought but then i'm very emotionally detached from things like houses, my house is just four walls to me much to my MIL's disgust.

Trills · 11/08/2014 21:14

I might be worried about the sale not going through, but I would laugh at anyone who was worried about "bad vibes".

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/08/2014 21:14

If it really worries you, there are things you can do to cleanse the atmosphere in the house - sage 'smudge' sticks, feng shui, having it blessed - all sorts of things.

Or you could take the approach that living happily in the house will banish any negative vibes.

Unless you buy a new build house, any house you buy will have history - for me, what matters is how you live in a place.

m0therofdragons · 11/08/2014 21:18

We looked at one but it felt sad (hard to explain and dh and I aren't usually the kind to talk about emotions in a house). Couldn't put our finger on it but neither of us wanted the house. Anyway, identical house round the corner came on the market and we loved it. Both were divorcing couples but first had children so maybe that was it. I think overall you get a feel for a house. We're very happy here.

paxtecum · 11/08/2014 21:18

Adding to SDT's post, you could get a reiki practitioner to clear any negative energies and then thoroughly clean and decorate the house.

Original poster

KitschinSynch · 11/08/2014 21:22

Thanks for your advice everyone - good point about ructions in the chain though. As a raving sentimentalist I would care about the feeling of a house - happy to be laughed at for that.

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/08/2014 21:28

I'm not laughing at you. I remember one house we lived in, when I was a child. It was a perfectly nice house but, for whatever reason, my mum was not happy there - to the extent where she became clinically depressed - which resolved when we moved.

As I say, though, there are things you can do to create a happy atmosphere in the house - maybe a bit 'woo' but if they work for you, why not!

I am considering doing something similar here - I have had depression for ever, and am wondering if the atmosphere here might be negatively affected by my mental state. There's probably no basis in science to it, but if it makes me feel better, that's good enough for me.

Pinkfizzy · 11/08/2014 21:42

Ha! Never got a chance around here!

Both houses we offered on prior to moving here were being sold very reluctantly as part of a divorce, and on at unrealistic prices as both parties (unsurprisingly but unrealistically around here) wanted to be able to have a house post divorce. Their houses both sold nearly a year after we moved into our lovely home...

specialsubject · 11/08/2014 21:54

not laughing at you, but please don't pay money for some charlatan to wave incense around your house. Houses do not have 'feelings' and most roads will have had a death on them at some time, even if it is only an animal.

As noted, unless a place is new it is possible that someone has died in it. It is almost certain that someone who lived there will have received bad news there, or been ill. I live in a house bought from a widow - we got it partly because we are keen gardeners and would look after her husband's much-loved garden. We are proud to be the custodians of it and to be bringing it back.

In fact due to the type of house we wanted, most of the ones we looked at were for sale due to death or illness. Realistically that is why we will leave but I intend to be happy in the interim!

the more important issue is that they both want to sell and that you won't get caught up in any acrimony.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclinatio · 11/08/2014 22:00

I would, however, if I got the feeling it was a reluctant sale on the wife's part I probably wouldn't. I would hate to feel a party to making someone miserable (I know it will get sold anyway, but I don't have to be the one to do the damage and it would make me feel sad in the house). If they both wanted it sold I'd be happy to buy it and the fact they are divorcing wouldn't make me feel the house would make us unhappy, but I would take it into consideration when negotiating completion dates etc to try to negate any issues there might be.

Original poster

KitschinSynch · 11/08/2014 22:01

My comment about 'being laughed at' was directed at trills who said she would laugh at anyone put off by bad vibes. I am unlikely to pay for a reiki healer or similar, so no worries on that count it would just colour my thoughts on the house - have read too many Stephen King books as a teen.
The acrimonious chain however would be a real concern.

OP posts:

spiderlight · 11/08/2014 22:07

We viewed a house that was being sold in what was clearly a very acrimonious divorce. The wife had swanned off and left the husband and teenage son to sell it, they clearly didn't want to move or let her benefit from the sale in any way and they were doing a stupendous job of making sure it would never, ever sell. Stinking piles of mouldy dishes and takeaway boxes everywhere, telly on full blast, vendor glaring and grunting at us from the sofa and we didn't even see the main bedroom because the son was asleep in there and refused to get up - cue very embarrassed estate agent trying to describe it to us from the landing. We didn't make an offer.

CornChips · 11/08/2014 22:12

we did not buy our house from a divorcing couple, but from a couple where the DW had died tragically. It was freshly wall papered when we got it, and when we removed the paper later for renovating we discovered the DH had painted in red paint all up and down the walls over and over again his Dw's name. (then papered over it. We left one wall of this- to honour her).

It is not an unhappy house, even though clearly people have been unhappy in it. We love it, and we are happy here. Been here 20 years now. I feel like the house is a living and breathing entity and we all live happily together. :)

I guess what I am saying- if the house feels right, go for it.

CornChips · 11/08/2014 22:16

Actually- am going to clarify- DH has had the house 20 years. I have been around not quite so long.

(The DW died of the same disease I have. That has never creeped me out either. )

CalamitouslyWrong · 11/08/2014 22:16

We viewed a house that possibly did contribute to the vendors' divorce. It was unbelievably dire. They'd half done all sorts of utterly weird and really awful work to the house and generally turned it from a perfectly nice 1930s semi on a lovely street into a house of horrors. It may be coincidence, but their marriage had fared as well as the house.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/08/2014 22:18

Yes.

You're being a bit bonkers tbh, but, as a fellow Stephen King fan, I will forgive you"

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