I'm having second thoughts about the house I'm buying.

[SickOfHouseShopping]

I've had my offer accepted on a house and I paid for the survey yesterday.

But now I'm stressing that it isn't the right house. The short version of the story is - we decided to go for a house that's pretty 'meh' because it's in a really really pretty location. It's a village that has always been my dream place to live. But now I'm questioning the whole thing. DS1 will start secondary in Sept, and the village location will give him a much longer journey to school (7 miles on bus). I'm worried that a village location will be rubbish for teens. And I don't love the house at all.

But the location offers a lot for me, DH and DS2 - kids play out there, neighbours get together for BBQs, it's very friendly, pretty and a great community. We currently live in a lovely house in an awful area and are very sick of the grime/dumped mattresses/people with cans of special brew so the village would obviously be a huge improvement.

I can't work out whether it's just nerves and it's the right thing for us to do, or whether if I'm doubting it this much I should pull out.

See how the survey comes back at least, as you have paid for it. But if you find yourself hoping that the survey will reveal big problems so that you'll have a reason to pull out then I don't think it's the right house for you. How urgently do you need to move from where you're living?

I just got the very basic survey as it's quite a new house, so I doubt it'll outline any issues!

The main urgency is the rising house prices - our house is stagnating because of the bad area while everything else is rising like mad so I worry we'll get priced out of a move in the not too distant future.

Have you asked DS1 what he thinks?

I actually think it sounds like a great move. I'm wouldn't worry about the bus ride, it won't take any longer than half hour max will it and at least there is a bus and you won't have to drive him each day.

The village life/community sounds ideal and I'm sure there will be children of your DS age that go to that secondary too

You want a better area fir your children -tick . You and dh want a village life and social life - tick . public transport links for the dc now and when they are older - tick . less than 10 miles from a school thats good !!!
its been your dream place to live for years !!!

You know your house is going down in value so you know you need go get out before it gets worse. The place you are buying is going to go up in value so in a few years if you find it really isn't for you what is to stop ypu selling ?

We bought a fugly house in a very pretty (village) location. We've never regretted it. Secondary school is 5 miles away, so the dc catch the bus or cycle. They have never said they'd rather live eksewgere - they've got friends in the village, and in nearby villages.

We moved when the dc wre at primary, but knew that when they were teens we'd have to be a taxi service. It hasn't been too bad, apart from endless sporting fixtures for dc2. Dc1 now drives, which helps a lot.

I think it sounds as though the move would be a good thing for your family. Go for it!

Thanks for the replies! Justinepants I asked DS1 in a general way before we offered on this house whether he thought it was better to live in a nicer place that was slightly more inconvenient, or a less nice place that was very convenient, and he chose the convenient option.

So of course when we told him the news he sulked, cried and said he didn't want to move to XX (the village). It was 'sucky' and 'boring'. Looking back, that was what triggered my own negativity and anxiety about whether it's the right thing to do.

When we went to see the house (ages ago) though, he came out saying 'can we please move here, I can go out on my bike'. I wish I'd never had the conversation with him about convenience as I've put the idea in his head that the location is inconvenient - if I'd never discussed it with him I don't think he'd have even thought about it!

He's getting hung up on the fact that he's had his transition day and has learned the route to school from our current house. He's very stubborn and I wouldn't put it past him to hold it against us for the next however many years.

But it's great to hear everyone's positivity - as you all say, it's great in so many ways. I think it probably IS a good move, I'm just scared. Also scared because it's a huge leap in price and I'm the main breadwinner - I get paid per day so it cuts down my options in terms of how many days a year I can take off to be with the kids.

Rosa - good point, I can always sell if we hate it.

I don't think villages are very interesting for secondary-age children. I grew up in the countryside and the only interesting thing to do on a weekend (and sometimes weekdays too) was sit on the church wall, drinking cider, and snogging boys. For some, this later segued into drugs and sleeping around.

You've just got the jitters and you can soon make a meh house into something lovely even if it's mainly the inside, you can't change the location from unpleasant to great.

DS will soon come round. 7 miles is nothing especially if there's a bus. Besides, as soon as you get in to your new home all the focus will be on that and the new school, it'll be busy. I'd just relax if it were me and let things take their course.

Gosh, I can't believe you're letting an 11//12 year old child dictate your house purchase! He can bloody well get on with it (IMO!).

Sorry, that might sound harsh, but I seriously would not give up my village dream just because my slightly-stroppy-nearly-secondary-age son was getting grumpy about it!

Having said that.... we grew up in a village location, secondary school was 5 miles away & the small town where everyone hung out / went down pub (so 15 years old onwards back in those days!) was 7 miles away. As much as we loved home, mum & dad did say that they didnt see me or my sis much during those teenage years - we spent most weekends at the kitchen tables of our friends living in either secondary school village or pub village, drinking tea or, later, going down the pub. We stayed over lots with friends in those villages too.

No-body hung out in our village, yes there were about 20 of us who caught the bus to the secondary school so we weren't alone, but we weren't huge friends with any of the other kids in our village.

I guess if you don't mind seeing your kids much as they get older, then fab! My parents didnt do huge amounts of ferrying around - they told me & my sis to find nice slightly older boyfriends who had cars so they could ferry us around instead .

Sorry, I'm not much help am I?! BUt honestly don't let your son dictate your house move....but do think about how life might pan out when the kids are older. GOod luck!

We live in a rural village about 5 miles from the nearest town & school. There is a lot of ferrying around but it's the price we pay for living somewhere lovely. My DSs have always ridden their bikes everywhere & we often have a house full of teens.
DS is learning to drive now so will soon be independent.
Go for it.

We live 5 mikes from the local school. Ds2 is very sociable, and our house is always full of teens at the weekends.

The period when you have to do lots of ferrying around is relatively short, and for us it was far outweighed by being in a lovely location. I have asked both dc if they would prefer to live in town (not that thats an option) and both say they love living where we do.

If it ticks most of the boxes, go for it.

You might be surprised what can be done with an unattractive house to significantly improve its appearance too...

I went for convenient once ds was about 13 ish never looked back. He is at university now but we have stayed in the area as it is convenient for us too and we could never go back to being tied to cars bus times etc

I understand as we went through the same with ugly pebble-dashed house that needed a lot work. It's growing on me, as I appreciate the location so so so much.