Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Original poster

So depressed about house-hunting.

35 replies

WhatsGoingOnEh · 01/07/2014 21:09

Sorry about this... Just letting off steam.

In the past six months, I've sold my old house and moved into my parents' house, changed the kids' schools, am getting married in October... And we can't find a house to buy.

I have a big £100k+deposit and a MIP (although I know those don't mean much) of a decent amount with my fiancé, but we can't find anything. There have been two very nice houses, but we've been gazumped on both of them. Once after six months.

It's so stressful, for me, fiancé, and my parents. Every house we see feels like it's going to be The One but there's always some issue. And we can't even relax when we've had an offer accepted anymore, as we've seen it fall apart even after the surveys have been done.

Our budget has shrunk dramatically over the past six months. What would have bought a nice 3-bed in January won't even cover a nice 2-bed anymore. I'd love to just rent a place but fear we'll get priced out forever.

The horrible uncertainty is the worst part. The roller coaster of hope followed by the crash of disappointment. Every week. Every viewing.

Sorry for horribly long mopey rant. Anyone else want to moan about house hunting? Join in! Or did you ever feel this way but things turned out well in the end?

OP posts:
ilovechops · 01/07/2014 21:24

I didn't want to ignore your post although haven't much advice. I assume you are buying / looking in London?

We were in a similar position to you (it sounds) although a slightly smaller deposit and actually gave up looking 6 months ago and are now completely relocating up North. It's a massive change and we are both quite anxious but the place we are buying is more than half what we would pay in our current street (pretty standard SE london suberb) for a 3 bed terrace. I am just on here to post an interior design question. Is outside on London out of the question? The rest of the UK is rising but at a much slower rate and gazumping seems less prevalent. Just a thought. We also looked at various commuter towns / villages which were all easily accessible to London and were much much cheaper too.

Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 01/07/2014 21:49

Thank you!!! It's not in London, it's in SE (Berks), where I grew up. We sold in London, hence the big deposit.

Good for you for such a huge move!!! Exciting! Are you scared you'll never be able to move back again? (Sorry if that's a killjoy question!)

If it were up to me, I'd move down to the seaside, or Devon, where I have family. But DP works near here, the kids are in schools, my parents and brother are here... I don't have much choice. :-/

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 02/07/2014 21:40

I decided to cheer up, and have gone into every estate agent in this town again. I viewed 4 houses today!

  1. Right area, right price, right size, TOTAL renovation project. And it's only a box, so we'd be renovating a box.
  1. Right house, right size, right layout, right garden... Nearly the right price... But 2 miles from the nearest school. I love this house, but I don't know how I'd do the school run. Two kids, two different schools, both 2 miles away. My kids are young, I'd be doing this for at least 4 years.
  1. Ok house, can't even remember it.
  1. Right layout, size, price. Very close to an excellent junior school, but a mike from the secondary my oldest son is starting in Sept.
OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 02/07/2014 21:40

Am I being too fussy?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 02/07/2014 21:41

Thing is, I know the house I want. But the owner ghost-gazumped me. By £25k! It's back on the market and my fiancé has spoken to the owners to say we want it, and she was really frosty. Hmm

OP posts:
Marmitelover55 · 02/07/2014 21:48

I wouldn't worry about being s mile from your son's new secondary school - that's a 20 minute walk which is nothing at secondary.

ContentedSidewinder · 03/07/2014 09:42

Was going to say the same. Ds1 is at his induction day at an outstanding secondary school. It is 1.2 miles google maps says 28 minute walk but it is less than 25 mins and that is uphill!

1 mile away is nothing for secondary school.

We live nearly 3 miles from the primary school (we moved 4 years ago for a bigger house and better secondary) and I drive it every day.

Do a dummy school run to see what is feasible.

Also the house you were ghost gazumped on, walk away. I believe in fate and there is a reason you didn't get that house. Plus if you can' trust them not to do it again why would you put yourself through that misery?

Give house number 4 a serious thought. Walk it yourself from the house to the school to see the issues faced with walking.

Mrsgrumble · 03/07/2014 09:45

A mile from secondary, no brainier for me. That's nothing at all.

By not go for four. Sounds lovely.

irregularegular · 03/07/2014 10:03

Do you really mean a literal 'mile'? or a 'hike'

Surely a mile from secondary school wouldn't stop anyone. I barely know anyone who lives within a mile of their secondary school. The closest secondary school is about 3 miles away.

Walk/cycle/school bus are surely all options?

On the other hand, maybe you didn't mean that...

personally though, I do think that being a nice short walk from primary is a high priority.

Preciousbane · 03/07/2014 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrimalLass · 03/07/2014 10:50

A mile is nothing. 15-20 minutes walk.

petalsandstars · 04/07/2014 20:06

House 2 - try the drive , at school run time if you can.

House 4 - a mile is fine to walk, but if "miles away" again- do the drive

Then see how you feel

Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 04/07/2014 21:34

Sorry! All your replies made me feel I was being daft about a mile walk, so I checked the distance. It's almost 3 miles -- that's why it felt so un-walkable!

He could go on a bus but 11 feels young for a bus. (Over-protective mum.)

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 04/07/2014 21:36

Which means house 2 (that we viewed again today, and still love) would actually be about 4 miles from the schools... We drove it today at lunchtime and it was only 15 minutes. No idea what it'd be like at rush hour. But it's in a very quiet spot - no nearby shops. We'd have to get a cab out and back EVERY time we went out..

OP posts:
pictish · 04/07/2014 21:37

No matter what your budget, you're going to have to compromise on something.
11 is not too young to get on a bus for goodness sake.

schmee · 04/07/2014 21:38

Next year he'll be 12 though...

CointreauVersial · 04/07/2014 21:42

If you have more than one child you will always have to manage more than one school. Drop offs and pick ups are rarely the same times, so it is usually manageable. I currently live four miles from the primary and six miles from the secondary, and it's fine. And although you feel over-protective about your DS going on the bus he won't be 11 for ever.

Don't be too picky or you'll still be house hunting when the DCs leave home.

RandomMess · 04/07/2014 21:44

There will probably be a group of secondary school children on the bus. Presumably in London he would have been going on the tube on his own by then!

MrsMaturin · 04/07/2014 21:46

The secondary school age child can go on a bus. It will do you both good. The going out - how often do you do that? Factor in the cost of taxis as a given cost in living there and see if the price still looks doable.

antimatter · 04/07/2014 21:48

both my kids walk to school over mile each way
and they are the closest secondary schools to our house!

he can walk/cycle etc

pictish · 04/07/2014 21:51

If your reasons for not buying a place are things like '11 yr old son will have to get on a bus for three miles' or 'son will have to walk a mile', then yes, you are being too fussy.

FrontForward · 04/07/2014 21:58

I'm house hunting and have a very small circle location wise based on place of work and school. A mile is nothing. 3 miles is more significant to me. When it's peeing it down your child will be soaked. I'm sure loads will tell you that they walked 10 miles in pouring rain when they were at school but I very rarely see many adults walking 3 miles in the rain...because they'd arrive and work dripping!

If there is a bus then that is different, depending on cost of course.

I do agree that you may have to compromise.

Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 05/07/2014 10:07

Thanks for the reality check, all of you! I agree I'm being fussy. It's hard when there is a house that ticked every box, but it was the gazumpy one.

The house we both love is gorgeous and a real "forever" house, but honestly in the middle of nowhere (almost).

Ugh. I suck at this.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsGoingOnEh · 05/07/2014 10:11

My parents' house is opposite the secondary school. They've suggested I drop Oldest son there at 8ish every morning (he starts at 8.30) and he can just cross the road when it's time to go in, while I drop Youngest son off at his school.

And after school, oldest goes there while I pick up youngest, then I pick him up and come home. It IS doable.

Plus the miles-away house has a lovely built-in office room where I could work all day (I'm a writer) and earn a fortune. So I wouldn't need to get an office job, so I would be around for school runs...

It's doable. But both kids would always live miles away from their friends. Does that matter?

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 05/07/2014 11:01

We lives miles away as kids and just had parents taxi as the bus service was atrocious. Didn't bother me as I got lifts everywhere then learned to drive.