What to compromise on?

[LizzieMint]

So we've reluctantly accepted we can't fulfil our list of must-haves within our budget. But they are all important enough to us to be must-haves! Something's got to give, but what?
We live in a nice big house at the moment in a lovely area with a good school. We don't want to move to something worse as that would make the move a bit pointless. So we're looking for something at least as big as current house (4 bed, 3 receptions) but with bigger garden and near a good school. Location has to be in a certain area (round north oxford) for commuting purposes so that can't change. Seems like our only options at the moment are increase budget (but don't want to stretch too far as we're in our 40s) or take a smaller/less 'good' house.
We just thought we'd find something no problem, it's been a pretty depressing house hunt so far!

Why are you moving?

DH and I work in central Oxford and I'm a fairly experienced house hunter in the area. There are certainly far cheaper, but still nice, places go live nearby if you are willing to travel a bit.

Soooo - how far are you willing to travel? by car or train? would you live in a small village? large village? town? budget??????

I think if you are really focussed on North Oxford itself then it's very difficult.

I think it would be good to understand why you are moving. If you were happy with your large house with smaller garden, then dropping the dream for the larger garden in Oxfordshire is probably the most obvious compromise.

Yes - why are you moving?! It sounds like you're just looking for your current house. ?

God, stay where you are! It costs so much to move - like around £15,000 (or much more in the higher stamp-duty bands). You might as well stay out and spend that money on a new kitchen or bathroom or something, unless there's a solid reason for leaving.

• stay put, not stay out!

Also how old are your children? A garden would be more important if you had 4 under 6yo than if you you had 3 teenagers, for example.

We're relocating for work so we have to move. H currently has a 2.5 hour commute.
I suppose that's part of the problem, that we live somewhere lovely now so feel like it's got to be somewhere at least as good to make up for the upheaval and moving costs.
Kids are 8, 6, 3.
I mean the area to the north of oxford rather than the north of oxford itself IYSWIM, god knows we'd never afford anything in oxford!! H works in Milton Keynes and Swindon so that area (woodstock and surrounding villages) is pretty much in the middle of the two places.

Oh meant to add, my ideal would be a largish village or at least one with amenities. But at this stage we'd probably consider anything!

Going through a similar move at the moment. I think you have to come to terms with the fact there is a compromise that comes with shortening the commute: it's getting that time back that makes the move worthwhile.

The garden surely is the obvious thing to drop? We've prioritised schools and area. We'll probably end up with a slightly smaller house tbh.

Depends on your lifestyle. I'd prioritise commute and schools. After that, for I like going out- playing tennis, out to eat, to the park, to the cinema, to the grades centre so having amenities nearby is essential to me. A big house to me is just a burden to clean / maintain that prevents us spending more time as a family doing fun things.

However, if your home is your castle and family nights watching movies, hours out in your backyard, cooking and baking etc are your hobbies then an area with less amenities and a bigger house is probably what you need.

Good luck, it's so tough but house hunting really forces you to think about who you are!

That's a really good point! I need to do this too.

Ah. I see. That is a bit awkward. Google maps estimates 1 hr 30 driving directly from Swindon to Milton Keynes with no traffic (ha!) so the commute is never going to be easy.

Which does he go to most???

Where have you looked. Woodstock is expensive.

That should have read garden centre not grades centre! I love gardening but one hour a week including watering is my absolute max so have pretty small low maintenance garden.

Good points londongirl will have to have a real think about what's important.

Awkward just about describes it irregular!
We've looked at houses in Fritwell, Barford st Michael, lower heyford, begbroke, Freeland, middle Barton. None of those areas have massively grabbed us. We like the look of eynsham but concerned about the school being in special measures.
If you have any suggestions for places to check out, would love to hear them!

If I remember right, we quite liked Steeple Aston.

However we ended up in the opposite direction (Goring) so know south oxon better.

The train from Didcot to Swindon is very fast if that helps. But if you lived in that area you would have a longer journey to MK.

Mks the more important one, he'd do that journey maybe twice as often as Swindon?
Seem to recall seeing a house for sale in Steeple Aston