Moving back to London.....getting cold feet! Help!

[FitnessDjango]

I left London (Honor Oak) five years ago with dh and ds now 9 and ds now 6. We moved to Cardiff and bought a beautiful house, which we couldn't afford in London. The kids are happy in Cardiff and so are we, but finding well paid jobs with prospects has been hard. Husband has been freelance and I've been part time teaching. We don't have a mortgage so don't need a big income.
To cut a long story short we both secured good jobs in London recently and our house is under offer. We found a house in Sydenham, albeit ex council and the process of moving is underway. I was initially excited but am now having real doubts. I can barely sleep. Our lives will be a lot more stressful. I'm worried I won't be able to collect my children due to bad traffic etc and will be late. After all our outgoings we will likely be in the same situation financially as here! The reality is very scary. The children are very settled in their school which is a good one.

I'm in two minds at backing out but will be breaching our new job contracts ...but then wonder if we will regret it if we don't try it. We are in our early 40s..and wonder who goes back to London with kids? Are we mad to even be going down this route and should we settle for what we've got which is a relaxed lifestyle where we are both able to focus on our children but professionally we aren't going anywhere!

Why do you have to sell your Cardiff house? Why don't you just rent in London for the first year while renting out your Cardiff home. That way if it doesn't work out you haven't burnt any bridges. It's not too late to pull out of your home sale - a beautiful house in Cardiff to an ex-council house in Sydenham doesn't sound like the greatest swap in the world if I'm honest. If your outgoings won't be significantly improved by this relocation then why would you do it, especially if you are settled where you are and it will only add more stress to your life?

Thank you ladyrabbit. I just read your response to my dh and he said 'absolutely' and laughed....a dry laugh. We have thought about renting our house out and renting in London but the idea of renting doesn't appeal as it's twice the cost of a mortgage and property prices will continue to go up in London.
You're right it's not too late to pull out of the house sale/purchase. However, we will never get these professional opportunities again. Too many parents in Cardiff have one parent working all week in London and returning to the family home at weekends while one parent has the kids all week. That wouldn't work for us splitting the family up like that. I wish I'd never opened up this can of worms and been left with these decisions. To make matters worse I've quit my part time teaching job!!!

It sounds like you need to make this move from a work and family point of view and I think Sydenham is a fab place to live with kids! Beautiful Mayow and Wells parks, good schools, the wonderful Horniman museum, great swimming pools nearby, and central London a quick train ride away. Loads going on and an improving and useful high street.

If you're going for great jobs that don't exist where you are now then that will improve your quality of life. You've still got decades of work ahead of you so you may as well be doing work you're more likely to find satisfying.

Sydenham is near to where I live and is close to amazing parks and other green space.

Could you live further out and sort out before/after school care for the DC? Where will you both be working?

We moved out of London when the DC were born, and promptly moved back again and it was a good decision. We were lucky with the property market (sold when London was rising, destination was cheap, sold when destination had risen and London had stagnated).

I like the buzz, having everything accessible (we are within M25 but just into Surrey) and the DC take full advantage of what's on offer.

Write down all your worries and then address them.

Childcare issue might mean an after school childminder? Is it possible to work from home some days? All issues and problems can be dealt with - don't keep mulling them over and getting yourself all worked up.

Be positive - life in London will be excellent for your children and you. Everything will be fine, professionally your careers will advance and things will change - good luck!

Lovely house and lifestyle, happy settled kids v gross house, stress, no more money, I cannot for the life of me see why you're doing this?!

Also, if you have no mortgage anyway, does it really matter if you're jobs aren't massively going anywhere? I'd take the easy, comfy life any day of the week...

lucky DCs going back to London - at least they will not be calling everyone 'butt' and talkng like Goldie Looking Chain. OK and apart from that - think of the better opportunities for them.

Think of childcare etc as a medium-term issue. Once they are at secondary you won't have to worry, and can focus more on your career.

Is it the house that is bothering you?

Thank you for your excellent responses! You all have a different perspective (unsurprisingly lol). With regards to our jobs I'm a teacher taking a management job in Greenwich and DH is a lawyer with a job lined up in the City. I guess we have got used to our cushy lives in Cardiff but we do get frustrated and bored on occasion / plus it's parochial here too.
Lol the Sydenham house may be ex council but it's not 'gross'. It doesn't look very council and it's sizeable (1500 sq ft) with lots of space. It's not a beautiful Victorian property with a cellar like I have in Cardiff but I'm not too bothered about bricks and mortar - more the effect the move will have on my kids. I didn't mention that they're educated in Welsh language education (though first language is English)! They will attend a primary school in London where being Anglo will put them in the minority. I don't have an issue with that but wonder if they will.
Also the house we would be buying in Sydenham is in an area which isn't typical 'council' and 90% of the homes are privately owned.
In the next day or so I have got up make a definite decision or I will become ill from the stress!! Thanks again as your input is very helpful x

Lol NigellasDealer haha thank you for making me laugh!! chippyMinton yes and no it's the house that's bothering me. I guess it's the whole palaver and worry about my children. I've got school care sorted breakfast club 7.30 and after school club til 6pm but my kids aren't used to that. I'm sure they will adapt. I also worry if I don't finish til 5 sometimes being caught in traffic and late to collect. I'm just worrying non stop. Possibly needlessly! :)

I feel you FitnessDjango. My DH and I have been batting this ball across a net for over a year now. We have decided to compromise and instead of selling up in London are going to sell up a little and get a weekend place to escape to but stay in London for the foreseeable future. Everybody warns us that the moment DS is a teenager he will get bored stiff in the country and we will become a glorified taxi service. It's a tough decision - weighing up quality of life NOW vs. potentially improved quality of life in the future. Only you can make this decision, and if you still want to be working once your kids have grown up maybe you have to put career first in this instance so that you don't find yourself out of the career loop ten years' hence.

I wish you lots of luck - London property is calming down now across the board, so I would re-iterate my just rent for now and see how it goes!!

Sounds like an excellent plan LadyRabbit. Fortunately we don't live in the country but central to city - 5 mins walk. We will be more isolated in London oddly ie have to drive places. I'm now going to ring my mortgage company see about changing my mortgage to buy to let and London residential mortgage. It's a lot more complicated. The London house is not that expensive by London standards by the way.