How would you deal with this neighbour?

[stargirl04]

Hi, I've only just moved into my first home and already I am bothered by my neighbour!

We share a small communal hallway and he/she has left two bags of smelly old clothes and shoes outside her front door, just a few feet from my front door.

I realise that to a certain extent this is "my" problem as I'm a very clean and tidy person and looking at (and smelling) these two bags of minging items really bothers me.

The bags have been there for 10 days now, but were not there when I first moved in.

I want whoever lives there to remove them. I haven't actually met the resident yet although my bf reckons it is a woman living there as he could hear her talking on the phone when he was in the hallway.

At first I wanted to try to resolve this without causing offence, but each day the bags remain there, I am becoming more annoyed.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom please?

I am with MrsTaraPlumbing. Sometimes people can be just mildly thoughtless and nice word from neighbour may help. Word from ANGRY neighbour and passive-aggressive actions would not help at all.

I am in London, lived in central London flats and more suburban terraced houses and we had lovely neighbours every time. Ragwort said harshly but true. Even London needs community.

I'm also with MrsTaraPlumbing. Introduce yourself in person and ask about the bags. If you go around sticking notes under the doors of neighbours you haven't even bothered to introduce yourself to and are using the notes as a means of telling them you have a problem with them, then I think you're the one who's going to get a reputation for being the 'problem neighbour' in the block.

I did not introduce myself to the neighbour because she was away all weekend. I was asked to take a parcel for her by the postman, which I did. I still have it. I've put a note under her door saying "Hello, I'm stargirl, and I have a parcel for you. Please give me a knock whenever you're free, and I'll try you again too."

LadyRabbit and Ragwort, you know nothing about my life yet you feel qualified to pass judgment on me, but the reason I keep my distance from neighbours is because of a previous bad experience.

I am not unfriendly or unkind, just wary. I think that is just common sense, don't you?

As my name suggests, I live in London and I think there is any reason to be immediately wary. My neighbours all wave to me. The one to the right gave us a peace lilly when we moved in. Its a nice street in a friendly area but its still zone 2 of London. If you want an easy life, I think its essential to make nice with your neighbours in London. People who know each other in general are more considerate of each others needs and we are all packed in like sardines in London so its essential to get on well.

Hi again, I am taking note of all the advice here, and I really do appreciate it.

I got home from work tonight and the neighbour had left a Thank You card for me under my door, thanking me for taking her parcel, and saying "Welcome".

I thought that was very kind and it completely disarmed me.

We keep missing each other because I work shifts but she's left me her number and I will give her a call tomorrow so that we can arrange a convenient time for her to collect her parcel.

Now I feel bad asking her to move the bags, so I may leave it this time, and give it a few weeks before I broach the subject...

In response to another poster the bags do bother me because they smell....

Those of us with experience of living in London know that you can't allow bad neighbour relations fester, we all need to get on and everyone is capable. Being wary of people usually comes across as snootiness, nobody likes that and you never know who you are dealing with, so you keep the peace and give people the benefit of the doubt.

The thing about London is that you can't judge people by appearance, you really never know who they are, could be landed gentry or ex criminal, or when you might come across them again. So you keep the peace.

Could you offer to help her get rid of the bags? Say you're planning a trip to the tip/charity shop and would she like you to save her a journey?

Just ask if they're her bags and if she needs a hand getting them down to the bin

I'd take them to the bins, clearly rubbish and unwanted if they've been outside her door that long

When you exchange the parcel and have a chat I would say that you've had a sort out since moving and that you're dropping a load of stuff at the charity shop so would she like you to take her bags too.

Thanks for the suggestions folks - I like this idea about helping her to get rid of them via bins/tip/charity shop etc....

Sadly I haven't yet met the lady who left the card for me, as her partner/husband answered the door when I went to give them the package. He seemed a very nice, friendly and polite young man.

Oh, and on the advice of several posters, (and a RL pal) I decided not to mention the bags just yet. I will leave it a couple of weeks....

Hi stargirl04 See? Not everyone in London is a potential axe murderer! I wasn't judging you - I understand you might want to hold back with people you don't know, and when I first moved to London I did have in the back of mind the idea of the big bad city. But I have experienced quite the opposite. Glad your neighbours seem nice so far, and hopefully the bags will soon be gone.

Thanks Ladyrabbit. Good to know that not everyone is an axe murderer, heh he ... my job has turned me into a very suspicious person. I obviously need to change it