We can't agree on a house!!!! HELP

[BumWad]

We have recently put our apartment on the market which has had a lot of interest and a few offers which seem to be increasing. Me and DH decided to go and view houses last weekend, and well we both argued like mad afterwards about what we were after!

I assumed we would fall for the same kind of house, traditional semi or nice terraced. I immediately fell in love with a 1930s red brick semi, an elderly couple are in it and it indeed needs a heck of a lot of updating (new bathroom, kitchen etc). DH has however just dismissed it saying there's too much work!

The problem is I have fallen in love with it already and have mentally moved in. I know exactly what the bathroom is going to be like and the kitchen. DH is wanting a house ready to move in, which is not my thing as it won't be to my taste!!

It has got to the point where DH won't even discuss it further. He says it will cost too much to do up (I don't think it will and I also know it will add loads of value to the property in a few years to come - neighbouring house that is a bit more modern is £80K more)

Anyways... I know this may seem like a non problem to many but how do I get DH to compromise? I don't want this house to disppear from our grasp and I can just see me saying no to every other house wanting him to cave him. I have even suggested viewing again and getting quotes on the improvements to make him feel easier about costs. He's still not interested...

Is it worth putting together all the ideas you have for the house - a mood board or whatever they're called, so that he can see what you have in mind rather than having to imagine it?

Don't get fixated on this one though, keep looking and you may find something you can both agree on.

Oh thank you all again, some fantastic replies that have really given me food for thought. The vendors neighbour is actually a builder we were told when viewing, I've never taken anybody else with me to a viewing before, it will be better for the agent to show us round won't it rather than the owners!?

Me and DH have chatted more about what we want, and some more houses have come up on the market so we will go and see them, still can't stop thinking about this one though and would love to update you all in a years time with my fantastic new bathroom and kitchen

Right, we have just done a very similar project, in an almost identical looking semi detached. (ours backs onto the local canal, hence we wanted it)

We had the builders in for 4 months.

We had the whole house stripped back to bare walls. The though lounge-diner was separated with a stud wall. The wall between the kitchen and dining room was knocked down to make an airy kitchen diner.

We had all new electrics and plumbing put in.
The stairs were straight at the top, we turned the last few steps which enabled us to enlarge the tiny bathroom by pushing it out onto the landing. We also removed airing cupboard (moved boiler to kitchen) and knocked tiny bathroom into adjoining separate toilet.
We had all internal doors replaced.
We had a new kitchen and new bathroom fitted.
We ripped up all carpets and had wood flooring fitted into lounge and hallway, tiled flooring in kitchen and bathroom and new carpet on stairs and upstairs.

We lived in the house whilst all this went on, washed at friend's houses, ate out or cheap microwave meals. Had one suitcase of clothes between us. Slept on mattress on bare floors surrounded by building materials and bags of plaster.
Everything was covered in plaster / builder dust. There was nowhere to sit, nowhere to relax.
Quite often I would come home from work, look at the devastation and burst into exhausted tears.

Total cost was around £50,000 (but we are in the South East)

However, it was worth it. The house is light and airy and suits our family lifestyle. We are pleased with it.

If you are planning on staying in your house for the foreseeable future then it is absolutely worth the money and effort and disruption.

As an aside, I can see why you love that house, I would want to go for it too!

Good luck, I hope you can persuade your dh that that house is a very very good option!!

I wouldn't want the vendors with you when you take a builder round

Reminds me of when my sister moved into a house that hadn't been touched since 1960's. They moved in and started ripping it apart only to have a knock at the door a few days later and there stood the previous owner who had realised they had left behind a painting on the wall. My sister had to point them towards the skip on the drive

She looked so upset that my sister and her Dh had clearly gutted the house, removed carpets, cut a massive hole in the wall to open up the kitchen to the dining room. Your vendor might refuse to sell to you if they thought you would gut it, some people are very funny about houses they leave.

As behind says I don't think you can envisage the disruption and devastation that any build does to your mental and emotional state. I converted a double garage here which was fine as they just knocked through after it was almost done and then I had a kitchen extension done, I had amazing builders but it went on for 4 months and quite frankly I wanted my house back.

I did a year of research for all the kitchen stuff, for the actual build and the fitting out of the kitchen, costed it all, researched to see if I could get the prices lower etc plus I live in an area where there are loads of trade places so it was easier.

It doesn't just depend on you being able to cope but your Dh and children too. It is all mine have ever known so they don't know what it is like to have a house free of tools/paint/workbenches etc