WWYD wrt to buying/not buying this house?

[CrapBag]

Sorry have posted a similar thing before but didn't get many replies. Looking for lots of opinions please.

Our house is currently up for sale. We have a chance to purchase a house from an acquaintance, a house that I have said in the past I would love to buy. Good size rooms, huge garden and its an absolute bargain being that the person is willing to sell lower than the valuation and it does need updating. It is also next door to close relatives who are getting on in years and may need help (although my help would be limited in that I am not in great health myself) in the future. I am on sickness benefits that could stop if ATOS suddenly find me fit for work (even though I am not) and financially we will be ok with DHs wage in this house if my money does stop. It is further from school than I would prefer but I do drive.

However, the seller is currently trying to find somewhere to buy and is having a lot of difficulty, she has been looking for about 8 months and is just not finding what she wants. She finally found somewhere but its out of their price range and the seller won't drop. Its also not straight forward as her partner has to sell his house so they can buy together and she has just discovered she is blacklisted so has had to go back and see a FA. The money from the sale will not be just hers, it has to be split with her sister so she won't have a massive amount, I don't know about the position of her DP but they have an adequate top budget to go to.

Our situation has changed in that I am about to come into some money and will have enough to make up a good deposit and go for a much better house that doesn't need work and is closer to school (possibly, depending on where we looked). We would need a bigger mortgage though as the money would be used for a dearer house, so if my benefits stop (and we have been living like this for over 10 years and always managed as they haven't been stopped and I have not been found fit for work, although last year I did have to go through an appeal) money would be tighter but we would manage.

Pros of buying the first house:

• Great price, never going to get a house and garden of that size for this price.
• Close to relatives.
• If my benefits stop, financially we can manage easily.
• Money I am coming into can fund doing it up and an extension and paying bit more off the mortgage.
• I previously said I wanted this house but I never actually thought it would happen.

Cons:

• I have no idea how long she is going to take to find a house given that she has already been looking for 8 months!
• Relying on her sale and her partners all happening at the same time and it all coming together nicely (and she won't move into his in the meantime, I have already asked).
• The amount of work to do it up, structurally is good but it smells (elderly incontinent woman lives in a room which would need gutting) and needs completely doing up, although not a great problem as we can make it our own.
• I don't know if her being blacklisted is going to throw up problems.
• Further away from school than I would prefer (its about 2.5 miles away, which I know isn't huge really).
• If my relatives didn't live next door, I am not sure if I would want it quite as much as I do.
• House prices are rising so if later on we do need to look elsewhere, we will get less for our money.

I really don't know what to do. It doesn't help that I am incredibly impatient and I want things done yesterday. I think this is why I am of the mind not to wait, I keep changing my mind. We always planned to move around this time, this house did come up at a good time as she said she was planning on it being Jan/Feb time but this is now not the case and we cannot put a time limit on it.

WWYD in this situation? I keep changing my mind all the time. Doesn't help that I have seen a gorgeous house that I love but as all of my money isn't through, it is currently out of our price range so doesn't really matter.

The first scenario sounds ridiculously complicated - I wouldn't really want to hang around waiting for all these complications to get sorted.
Also being near to your relatives you say is a plus but surely be near to school where you have to go every single day is an equal if not greater plus?
Personally I would look for something else - you could be waiting for years for your first vendor to find something and sort our all the other issues.

It is the conclusion I am coming to, in my wavering moments.

Knowing my luck, I'll cut my losses and buy somewhere else then she will find what she wants and sells her anyway (which would be snapped up).

I just keep thinking of the financial aspect of losing my benefits, but we always live like this anyway. Grr. I hate decisions!

you don't sound like you actually love the first house - I was in a very similar situation recently trying to buy a house because it was three doors from the school and I was fantasising about barely having to get out of slippers in the morning, Now I am buying miles away but I am totally in love with the house I am buying.
I also just don't like having to hang around waiting for someone else to get something sorted - especially in a rising market - depending on where you are of course.

Unless you have a committed buyer for yours now it could all change out of your control?

We don't have a buyer yet so its not an imminent problem, however its a low cost shared ownership property so I don't anticipate it taking very long.

I don't like hanging around either, the market is rapidly changing and the woman is going to struggle even more I think to find somewhere. She hasn't in the last 8 months and now she is going to get less for her money and she will only look at the expensive areas.

I am getting bad vibes about the first house - lots of complications. Also, if you are not completely well, do you need the hassle of doing it up? I am super-cautious and anti-household-disruption these days though: this mightn't be a concern for you?

Could a second option to be to get a house for a bit less and still leave a bit of a financial cushion if ATOS go feral or something happens to your DP's job? May be that's not logistically possible though? And as I said I am hyper-cautious because I had a longish period of ill-health myself and DP had to take unpaid leave to look after me and kids. It's kind of changed my view of things...

I'm not overly keen on the amount of stuff i'd want done. I'm not the type that likes disruption and I couldn't do anything myself. My main view is good size house, we can get an extension that would be utility, office and playroom, great size flat garden at an unbelievable price. Could come with a lot of hassle to get though, and if it works out as I will give a deadline once ours has sold.

I am considering just using more money to pay more off on a more expensive house, it is an option but it would still cost more than the first house but would be OK still financially, just not as good as first option. Unfortunately I have completely fallen in love with an expensive house which is daft because i'm not sure how long before I get the rest of the money that's coming to me and its likely to be gone, its just too nice!

Tricky. I can see your dilemma. Doer uppers always cost much more than you think to do up - I speak from experience

Why not look round at other properties on the market and then you will have a better idea as to whether it's worthwhile hanging on for this house. I'm not much in favour of hanging on for people who have their house up for sale but can't sell for one reason or another. I agree about being cautious about over committing yourself financially. That could cause a lot of stress.

apermanentheadache yes that's what I think. It will end up costing a lot of money I think to get it up to scratch. Roof and windows are all good, as it the bath room suite but no shower, would need all new carpets throughout, a wall knocking down, new kitchen, totally new decoration and the front and back gardens are a real state. Also would need a wall built as it is open at the bottom of the garden but its so overgrown, you can't actually tell!

Don't go for a house you would cause financial worry but I wouldn't wait for the first house indefinitely. Just explain that you need some certainty and if they can't commit to selling by a certain date then you'll buy elsewhere. Has she given a compelling reason she can't move in with her DP? In a rising market, waiting around is a dangerous game. Two of my friends have been priced out of our neighbourhood as they were too slow making a decision to buy and they are absolutely gutted-- that's London though.

She hasn't given a reason. Vague things of "oh his kitchen needs doing, its old" "DD will kick up, her room isn't big enough" "mum won't want to move twice".

No compelling reasons really. Not if she is serious about us buying. I am wondering if she thinks we are just going to hang around for her though. I have told her of my concerns regarding the timing of everything going to plan, hoping that she may realise I am having doubts but she said "well if it all works then it will be great". TBH the chances of it all working out are pretty slim I think. It would be us having a buyer, her finding and having an offer accepted on a house (without her DD complaining about it, she moaned about the last one because she said it was too far away) and her DP having sold his house at the same time. I really do have my doubts. Luckily our buyers are very likely to be first time buyers.

Is it possible she's having second thoughts about selling so cheaply to you?

I wouldn't have thought so. She wants to avoid going through an estate agent and she actually came up with the price, its be!ow the valuation but given the state it's in its not un reasonable, it does need work.

I really do think she is under the impression we are just going to wait. I also told her I look at houses on the net (ie hint I am checking my options out) but I don't think she got it. I think if she had second thoughts on the price then she would say.

I think maybe you need to be a bit more blunt then if she doesn't take the hints. You've already waited longer than most would and if the market is rising you don't want to cut off other options.

Buying a house is a huge investment and needs to be handled in a businesslike fashion.

You don't seem to have a buyer for your house - and if I was thinking of buying your house I would be very put off by your current situation, unable to commit to any dates.

If I were you I'd give her a firm deadline - either a couple of months or when you get an offer on your house, whichever is sooner - and take it from there.

BTW the valuation she had will take the updating into account - and in the current market she may find it very easy to sell above that valuation: dooer-uppers are very popular.

2.5 milesay not sound far but to give you an idea with a preschooler in PG and on in infants - with parking, i was spendong 2.5 hours a day in the csr.

Blimey weekend! It definitely wouldn't be that bad here. I have been at my relatives before and left in time to pick DS up from school and it took me 5-10 minutes so its not bad, just a pain as at the moment I am in walking distance. However the area we are in is not great, I am right on the edge in a lovely quite street of the area but if we were to stay in this area, then we would end up slap bang in the middle. I wouldn't completely rule it out as I know quite a few mums from the school around here and they seem ok with it, although a friend of mine lives opposite a known drug dealer, and while she doesn't seem bothered, it would definitely bother me!

I have actually decided to look elsewhere, at the moment I am not telling this woman right now, if she finds something soon then it will still be an option to us but now it is our second option. I don't see her being ready in our timeframe.

Lady that has really concerned me too, it would put a buyer off, it would certainly out me off. I have contacted the housing association to inform that not to tell potential buyers that we are waiting for someone, which we originally told them to tell people. I will need to follow this up with them though as there was something else I told them that they have not done yet.

I have no doubt her house will sell, and probably fast. I just know that she is really keen to avoid going through estate agents, plus she thinks that she can find the house she wants before selling hers. I have said its not how it works but I don't think she has taken any notice. Not really my problem now though.