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Divorced - how to move with no job and single parent, school age kids?

3 replies

UnexpectedlySingle · 19/01/2014 10:25

I moved out to the Midlands countryside for my ex's job 10 years ago and was a SAHM, now I'm divorced and have to find work as a single parent so I can take on the mortgage - he kept savings/pensions, I kept most of the house - but my location means its over an hour to the nearest cities and I can't find work locally at all - my background is higher education administration and that's all I'm getting interviews in - but the commute is too far to get back for ds1 and ds2, both at primary school one about to start secondary in September.

Have decided I'm going to have to move. No jobs near my family (even further out in the sticks!). I lived in Birmingham for a long while and have friends there so was thinking of maybe moving back there. But not sure which to do first - get job in a midlands city then move or move to a city and hope I find something (pref B'ham as I know it but the others I don't) - if I get the job first the commute would be very challenging to get back before nurseries close (no childminders that pick up from the school) and don't want to shift kids into a rental then buy, my ds1 has aspergers so ideally need to find a house and school and not change it. I'm currently unemployed with no savings whatsoever so money is very tight. I only have up to around £200K max to play with so budget is quite limited for schools in Birmingham. Current mortgage is £30K on house (I could take up to £90K on current mortgage agreement) and house could fetch around £180K, mortgage still in ex-dh's name and he is paying interest until I'm working, but want to keep my mortgage at £30K if possible as I'm unlikely to earn big bucks at the moment, prob most likely £18K-£22K pa or maybe less. This is manageable on a £30K mortgage but not on a £90K mortgage I think. I worry that I don't have a lot of capital to play with to afford moving costs and I'd need a removal service as can't do it by myself.

Help, what to do??!!

OP posts:
OnePlanOnHouzz · 21/01/2014 09:03

oh blimey ! is it worth talking with a financial adviser - weigh up the cost of moving etc ... would you consider staying put and getting 'any old job' for income, that ties in with being there for your children - as they might need a little support too, at this big change in their lives ?! then re assessing in a year perhaps ?!
sounds as though Ex is being reasonable which is a positive ! hope it all works out for you !

longtallsally2 · 21/01/2014 09:14

No great expert here, but I had a background in higher ed admin, and then landed a lovely job after doing some volunteering in a different area. It built on my admin experience but gave me additional experience in a different field, which really helped when applying for new jobs.

Whilst you are looking, could you consider volunteering in your local school office, or old people's home, or any charity office? Might help to open new doors?

However, Birmingham should give you a lot more opportunities to find work in higher ed. Could you research Birmingham schools on here and decide which ones you might like to send ds1 to, then think about house /job hunting near that school? Or use your friends in Birmingham to locate a good wrap around childminder who does school drop offs and pick ups for your little one, thus giving you a bit more flexibility in commuting time?

Best of luck

UnexpectedlySingle · 28/01/2014 11:23

Thanks everyone for the replies, I didn't check as had given up on any answers!

My hand has now been forced as the current childcare situation is very bad here - I have now found there are no places for out of school care whatsoever in my town - I knew it was bad but didn't realise it was this bad - can only find a place for them on a Friday!

Moving costs will have to come out of the house sale :(

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