Moving from rural location to small town..

[watermint]

Wondering if anyone has any advice/experiences they can offer? We have 2 small DC's (2 and 6 months) and Im feeling torn about where best to bring them up.

We currently live in a pretty rural location, on the outskirts of a small village. Our road is a fast-ish country lane and we have to drive everywhere (literally - no walks at all from our door despite fields surrounding the house). We live 5 mins from a very pretty beach which I love, esp with small children. However the seaside town and area generally are where people retire too. It is very much an older persons place. Not much culture/things for children to do etc etc and I find myself driving 30mins to nearest town a few times a week.

Im fantasising about moving to a small town close the largish town. I know the house might not be as nice/garden certainly be smaller but just want to feel more 'connected' and worry that ultimately some retirement seaside isnt best place to bring up 2 boys.

Im just worried that the grass is always greener. when we moved here 4 years ago I loved living by the sea/the views etc. But now, with 2 little ones, relying on the car and just the rural way of life has become less appealing.

If we moved we could cycle to work/live closer to friends/easier to get to cinema/theatre etc etc... how important to people think these things are? Our house is just lovely and the thought of leaving it is so difficult. Anyone had a similar experience at all??

Everyone has their own personal feelings. I've not moved the way you have. We moved from suburbs, walking distance to city centre (small city) to a village.

But I wanted to be connected still, I wanted the best of both worlds. Our village has no shops but we are a mile walk along cycle path away form road to the next village with local shops, bank, Dr, dentist, library and schools including pre school. For me being within walking distance of that was important because I didn't want to rely on a car all the time. We have a big cycle path running by our house linking to other paths and footpaths so we can go for nice walks from our back door. Living in the countryside but not have anywhere to walk to makes no sense to me. With small children we have had everything we need here. Town is close with more to do but there is enough life to sustain toddler groups etc so you don't have to go elsewhere. The children have local friends, they can go call on them and go to the park themselves (from around age 5).

I guess that is a starting point for you, to go to the town you are looking at and investigate opening times, library, toddler groups, schools (because time will fly and soon you will need them). See if it would give you what you want. Weigh up what is important to you.

I think its a great idea to move somewhere where you will feel more connected as your children grow up. Fine if adults choose to live a remote and rural life, but unfair to inflict that on children who will inevitably want to socialise and participate in a life outside the home as they get older.

Thanks so much for replies. Totally agree with point about living in countryside but nowhere to walk! Hate being so reliant on car plus the logistics of getting baby and toddler in and out of the car up to 4-6 times a day are exhausting. Think we have decided moving is the answer. Just so worried that we could make a mistake as dp not as keen to move , so I feel the weight of the responsibility of the decision lies with me.

Why is dp not keen to move? Do he really understand what it is like to be so reliant on the car for everything - ie. does he just go out to work all day and forget about what it's like at home?

Hmm I think so. He is at work while I'm on mat leave atm. He also has put loads of work into the house. Built kitchen from scratch and has a lovely work shop in the garden. He can see the positives in moving but I have persuaded him.

We live in a small village closer to a large town and for us it is perfect. We have a few shops in the village where you can get most things including a post office, chemist and doctors surgery which with 2 small children I have found really ideal. We walk almost everywhere and there isa lovely big Park thatThe children love and it is great just to get them out for an hours or two to run around. I love that I almost always bump into local people and get to know them. There is also a really good community with playgroups in this and the nearby villages and it has really made me feel settled to get to know the other local mums. The other main plus is that the local school (which is a very good one) is also walking distance along with a nursery which does before and after school club.

A good nearby school for us was a must but it did mean that we had to make a few compromises on the house we eventually ended up buying as the area was quite expensive but it is definately worth it. I love that we can walk everywhere and more importantly that the kids will be able to when they get older as well. It's still feels quite rural but with a good village community and close to larger town for shops etc.

When the kids are a bit older if you stay where you are are they likely to make friends at school/nursery with other kids locally? If so you might find it easier then. As teens they might turn into surfy types if you're near a beach.

We live in a village a 20 min drive from a city. Have to say we don't do "culture" in our local city at all. We do visit museums, etc but better ones further away, so a day trip. Yes if we want the cinema its 20plus mins away but how often do you go to the cinema?

There was never anything for dd to do in our village when younger. Now she's happy hanging out with friends in the village and goes to youth club once a week.

It might be easier for you as well once your mat leave has finished.

What are the schools like in both locations?

we moved in similar circumstances, although it was from a city suburb to a town. I used to drive everywhere but now I can walk lots of places, lots of toddler groups, shops, cafes etc. I hate getting the double buggy in and out of the car all the time. schools are good here too.

dh was interested in houses in the country but having spent my childhood needing a lift everywhere, a bit o freedom appealed to me, and my laziness once the babies are teenagers.

Think that schools could be your decider. I lived somewhere very rural when I had mt first and only moved for work reasons to a very small village. The previous location didnt have pavements and like you v fast rural roads - likely to run into a tractor. No way could you push a buggy anywhere - or kids ride a bike in the future - no way could you et them out to walk anywhere - also no where to go. Now they have the run of the village - the woods, green, bridle tracks, there is a shop a nursery and infant school - so we walked everywhere -- which is really much easier, sociable, interesting, stress free and healthier than driving. Go for it.

Oh I have so been in your situation! except we don't have a beach within 40 miles! We stuck it out, largely because as the kids became older and started school we all made friends that I know wouldn't want to leave.

Now ours are teens and they walk over the fields with the dog, they attend air cadets, rugby, youth club and a lovely theatre club (that is funded by a rural grant).

They say they are happy here and are glad we didn't move.