help-I hate my new house

[Bookaboo]

recently bought a house, after renting for a few years. i've lost all enthusiasm for decorating and organising it because although i like the house, i hate living there. the neighbours had a massive row at 1am the first weekend we were there and although they don't seem to be noisy most of the time, i can hear their raised voices and having sex. i hate that we are invading each other's privacy. i hate that i'm constanstly worried about how much noise my chid is making or whethet the tv is too loud, because i know the walls are so thin.
we did ask the buyers about the neighbours and noise, but they obviously didn't give us a straight answer.
i feel like we have made a huge mistake and i have been so unhappy since we moved. i want to cry all the time. i feel like we are trapped.
anyone know about soundproofing?

Just get some good soundproofing done on the walls on that side. There are various options depending on cost.

In the mean time move all bookcases/ wardrobes/ high furniture to the side of the room where the noise is. Close together and high up they will make surprisingly ok soundproofing.

Also consider getting the walls soundproofed then having built in furniture done like the wardrobes/ or kitchen cupboards depending on how much work your house needs.

Also add thick carpet and rugs upstairs and on stairs to reduce noise travelling from upstairs to downstairs in your house

Unfortunatley that's what happens in non detached houses.

How much does it cost to get soundproofing all the way along one side of the house ? I can hear my neighbours rolling over in bed! but unlike you OP I'm not unhappy. I am shocked by just how much I can hear, but I'm happy to be in my own place and not renting anymore, that outweighs everything, plus, this house is so warm compared to my last place, so as well as the neighbours' noise on both sides, I am benefiting from their heating.

My parents house is a semi detached and the neighbours could be murdering somebody next door and you wouldn't know.

OP, I really feel for you. In a previous house I broke a pane of glass in the neighbours door because they'd driven me to absolute derangement with plying shit music at every hour of the day and night. Of course it was an accident (trying to knock to be heard above the din), and I paid for it to be fixed, but it wouldnt have happened if I hadn't been beside myself with exhaustion and rage! Fortunately in that case, it was wilful noise pollution, and we got it sorted with a little help from environmental health.

That doesn't apply so much in your case, but I think artandco's suggestion of sound insulation is ally worth checking out. It might cost a bit to have it done (I have no clue), but it might help you fall back in love with your house, or failing that, it might make it that bit easier to sell.

noise from outside is very stressful.

look at dry-lining soundproofing material (before you decorate, of course). Also go say hello to the neighbours, and ask if they can hear your TV as you are worried that the walls may be a bit thin. This is called a Gentle Hint that people in semi-detached houses need to shag quietly.

that's a good idea specialsubject! i just hope they are the sort of people who actually care, unlike neighours we've had in the past.
thing is i'm finding that even when it's quiet i know the potential is there for noise and that alone makes me anxious!
i also worry that their shouting will wake my son up & he'll hear their bad language. that makes it worse. if it was just us i would wear ear plugs. i know there are people in worse situations, but i feel especially bad because we've chosen to put ourselves in this situation, when we didn't have to.

how would you have known? It would be a brave vendor who said 'we can hear the neighbours having sex sometimes'....

this is part of the deal with a semi but things can be done.

I was very puzzled to hear a rhythmic thumping every morning from next door. Turned out he had bought a rowing machine... :-)

plus, brownsaucesandwich i imagine, when you go to sell the house, if you were able to say that you'd had one or both side walls soundproofed, that would allay buyers' potential concerns about living in a semi-detached or terraced house. I 'm in a terrace but I only hear noise from one side. The halls adjoining side is fine. I just occasionally hear somebody going up or down the stairs but the side alongside the kitchen and sitting room and then upstairs, the two bigger bedrooms, well, I could tell you what time they went to bed, what time they set their alarm for!!! so far it has been OK as I get up earlier! But I do sympathise.

I know brownsauce is not the OP, I just meant, wrt the suggestion

I sympathise. I had olfactory pollution for years. A skunk addict lived downstairs, he was an insomniac to boot so smells would drift up from 10 pm onwards. Often right into the kids' bedroom as they slept. I'd wake up to go to the loo, and it would stink. In summer, we couldn't open our bedroom window. It was hideous. Enviro health couldn't do anything, he was smoking in his own home. We were advised to go to the police, but knew it would enrage him so didn't.

I really sympathise.
Having been lucky and only having one old deaf lady neighbour but she died and her son and family moved in.
We have had 6 months of continuous building work including a hole drilled thru our wall and our garden wall knocked down by a digger. We couldn't use our garden all summer.
I told the new owner about the thin part wall but he obviously didn't listen as despite spending thousands on a renovation he did no soundproofing.
They have been in a week and my dd can't sleep often as their tv is so loud in the bedroom, I was woken at 6.50 Saturday by her 7 yr old whooping and shrieking for no apparent reason and on Sunday at 7.45 by their scaffolding being erected.
They just couldn't give a toss about us.
I may hold a big mumsnet meet up soon to get revenge.

OP - hugs for you!!

Lots of people have given you excellent practical suggestions. But there's a huge emotional dimension to this too. Buying a house, especially a first house, is enormously stressful. There is an additional expectation that you should be ecstatically happy and content with your first home. For some people, this is all part of the excitement - for others (like me!) it becomes a bit too much to deal with.

The first time I bought a house, I had a huge panic attack the night I moved in and spent most of the evening being physically sick. I was hypersensitive to everything that was different - different smells, temperatures, noises from neighbours, even a different quality of light. It took me quite a few weeks to get used to it, but it became home slowly, over time, particularly when I started to paint and decorate and make adjustments. Simple things, like putting in shelves on the walls adjoining the neighbours made a huge difference not just to the practical problems, but to the emotional side of things too.

Also, I know buying a house is a big step, but it isn't forever! If the house isn't perfect, and things still annoy you, then you will move elsewhere in a few years. You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for!