Just moved out of London and feeling a bit weird

[anotherbitofcake]

It's normal right? Am veering between loving having a house and space and a garden and easy drive/walk to countryside but am a bit apprehensive about the change in culture and lifestyle. Moved to a lovely area but its v different to what I'm used to. Have also just gone on mat leave so again loving not commuting and dealing with office politics but freaking out by complete change when babio comes along and I turn into a mum. Reassurance needed please! Help!

I'm about to embark on the same change - the only difference s that I'm pregnant with number 2! Have lived in London for 12 years and we are moving out o our children can attend a small, good primary and grow up in a rural area. But I woke in the middle of the night sweating about how I would have access to things I take for granted o much now - like a good coffee within walking distance, a choice of restuarants/ takeaways of different cuisines and our new village doesn't even have a local shop! Very different indeed. Our new home will be lovely and we will wake up o breathtaking rural views which I can't wait for - but I am very nervous about he transition!

Ahhh I remember that feeling :)

I moved from South london to south norfolk about 4 years ago after living all my life (28 years at that point) in london.

I was a bit shocked at how homesick I felt for a bit. Especially as it was me wanting to move.

But it does get better and now south Norfolk feels like home.

Explore as much as possible and get out and meet people. I think feeling isolated after everything is in reach in london is hard. It will get better.

We're just about to do the same and I'm very nervous! I think the advice from Fairylea is good - I'm planning on getting out and about as much as possible and investigating new areas as soon as I can!

Good luck with it all x

themakingprogressblues.wordpress.com/2013/11/26/moving-to-the-country-ten-top-tips-for-a-happy-life/

Me too. Very mixed feelings still and getting bit lonely now too ...

I did this, it was lovely:) lots of nice people in the village with time to talk and admire my pfb:) plenty of coffee shops too, and mums to meet- lots of sahm, or ones on ML.

Even the hv went out of her way to find me friends and arrange a blind date type meet up for me and a new mum in my situation:)

Go to lots of baby groups, even if you haven't had yours yet. You may find pregnant mums with a toddler, get to know people, find out things and find out what groups you like and which you don't:) very important!

The only thing that made me realise how much I had changed was when a London friend came to visit. She looked like a movie star at the station with her London hair, make up, nails, smart coat:)

I used to be like that but was driving a scruffy Volvo, baby in the back, loads of baby stuff, not smart at all in old jeans:) but very happy. I did go and get my nails done when she left though, and a smart new hair cut:)

Oh God, after over 20 years in London we are making the move out on Friday

I just keep repeating Im doing the right thing Im doing the right thing....................

lots of now-Londoners, have grown up in small towns/suburbs or villages, so I can't see how it would be that difficult for them, especially if they do like nature and space. But if you were always a Londoner or another large city dweller, yes, it will be a shock. Hopefully you can always visit, not too far by train ir car to London, that would really help as it takes time to get used to. Some people go back to london suburbs in the end!

Lavender village with a lot of coffee shops? you are very lucky! can you share where it is, or at least roughly which area . Essex/surrey?

There is life outside of London, look forward not back and you'll be fine. If you spend your time wishing you were still there and constantly comparing where you are to there then it will make it really hard to settle. Yes, it's different but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Good luck

We did this 17 years ago. I have no regrets. My children have grown up with far more freedom from a much earlier age here than I could ever have given them had we continued to live in London.

You soon get used to it. Get out and about at least once a day once your baby is born. Find local mother and toddler groups, Tumble Tots etc. Begin investigating local playgroups, preschools and infant schools well in advance of when your child is old enough.

I find that in towns and villages outside of London people have generally been far friendlier and more willing to give others the time of day that they are in London itself. That is my experience.

Cotswolds:)

I used to go to the tourist information and get out and about and pretend I was a tourist, just like I did in London when I lived there. I went to everything with the dc, in the countryside, like a z list celeb:)

Its amazing in villages what's about, who lives there, the things to do. And such interesting people. The old lady who could barely hobble up the road used to let my ds post her letters once skied down black runs and told ds all about it:) and the post office were always good for biscuits with dc upset at having to wait.

Plus now, I look really cool and impress my dc by knowing my way round London:)

We did it-it's fab

Ah, I moved out of London 7 months pregnant with DC1, it was a lot of change in a very short time frame (I can point quite clearly to the 6 months period in which I became a proper grown up!)

Is your DP still commuting into London? So have you picked an area that's commuter belt? In which case, you might find the bulk of the locals are also "London ex-pats" who'll repeat things like "we got a 4 bed house for the price of our old 2 bed flat in London" and "you don't have to fake being religious or find the money for prep to get a good school". You might start seeing just how lovely Boden and Fatface are. You might start coverting a Jules gilet.

The safety aspect is a bit different, that teenagers in hoodies making eye contact aren't about to rob you, they are trying to work out if you are one of their mum's friends.

If like me, you were used to seeing those "crime committed here" signs everywhere you went, and just it was a given that people did get stabbed within a mile of your house because it's London and that's just what happens, you will find the local news shockingly sweet. For instance, it made the front page of our local paper when the hanging basket of flowers outside the butchers was stolen.

Just make sure you go into London regularly. If it's commutable for work, then you can go for the day too, don't let "going up to town" become a big deal. (I have local friends here who think it's odd I went up to London to do my shopping, when it's 25 minutes to London bridge on a fast train, yet they'll drive to a shopping centre 30 minutes away and just go for a morning)

oh, and how you would have lived in London would have completely changed anyway with a baby, compared to being at work in London. All my friends in London had full time jobs, so even if I had stayed when I had DC1, I'd have had to build a new life, meet new friends and start from scratch, or been very very lonely.

Agree, get involved, make yourself go to something everyday. If you can get in touch with your local NCT they might have coffee mornings (again, woman might have lived in your town for all their lives, but if they are just starting maternity leave as well and all their firends work, they will be looking for new friends too, don't assume having lived somewhere all your life means you aren't open to meeting new people).

Not just me then! I grew up in the middle of piddly nowhere so gawd knows why I'm freaking out. Might freak out less if it was going back to that perhaps? We've gone for somewhere small town size so not used to that. On plus does have few shops to pootle round. Think it is just combo of everything at once. Am having friends and family round to try to help make it feel more at home too. Sure I will love it. I def am excited but a little overwhelmed and feeling a bit out of sorts at the mo. London is only a short train away to get fix.

We've done this recently and it has been a big change; a bit of a shock! But my advice is to throw yourself into activities in your local area and be super friendly to the neighbours. Even when you don't feel like it. The effort I've made is gradually paying off. I miss London a bit but I try instead to think of the future, not the past. Onwards and upwards! This time with room to swing a cat and a half decent local primary school.

Having moved out of London in February this year I can say that you ladies who have small primary aged children will probably be fine.
I moved to a small village an hour out of London, my DC are at secondary school 20 mins drive away and I'm finding it really hard to meet others my age with my interests.
Without small children I don't have the same route into what is going on. I now wish we had either bought somewhere more remote or in a market sized town.
It's not the end of the world, we are doing a big house renovation which we are enjoying and we had alway thought we would only be in this area whilst DC were at school, but I have found it quite lonely.
I don't think we will move back to London, but next time we will consider the area more carefully instead of falling for a house in the wrong place!
Being nervous is normal, it's a really big move, good luck with it all.

Totally agree with SaigonSaigon. We moved from Islington to a town (I can still walk into town in 5 mins) 5 months ago now. I have a 19 month old and gave up work post mat leave when we moved (the commute was not feasible if I wanted to see him ever). I still involuntarily well-up every time I get to Waterloo station to visit friends (I do this at least once a month). London still tugs at my heart strings, it will always feel like home I think especially if you've lived there for any decent period. I went back only two weeks ago and was stunned that no less than 7 new restaurants had opened up in Islington and the skyline at various points on my journey there had already changed. All that said I have thrown myself into life where I am now (even when I didn't feel like it) going to any and all toddler groups I can find and I already have two groups of ladies with kids which I see regularly. When I was leaving London one of my girlfriends just said "hold on to any port in a storm" and she was right, I accepted all invites and returned them promptly. Day to day life is different anyway given that I'm now not working so it was a big leap all at once but in reality my old NCT crew were going back to work in London, other friends were working anyway and we couldn't afford to buy the type of house we wanted where we were living. You soon get used to the space in a house and I can't wait to have a garden when we actually buy somewhere. I think you have to embrace all the local stuff that goes on (strawberry picking, fayres etc). Life is different for us now anyway with kids so that in itself was an adjustment (as Michael McIntyre says "oh look at that lovely New Carliccios... We will NEVER go there"- not quite true but we no longer just pop out for lunch in the same way) and in honesty we only actually miss London when we get there. Good luck with your moves all, the fact that you are conscious of the challenges means you'll make it work.

Just done it. Gets less weird every day and the more you embrace the new place and make new friends the easier it is getting. Will set myself back at the weekend when I go to visit my friends though... Preparing myself for drunken tears.

Am being brave and have sorted out 2 meet ups :-)

really depends on the place you've moved to, as you can see, Lavender has got it right with the type of people she likes living tere and many cafes! I bet though it's very expensive where she is (even cotswolds varies in parts).

Lavender is there a train station there too? that would be some kind of perfection.

I think also it DOES help to really like nature/fpersonal space/resh air. Whatever London can offer, it's not that! (unless you are deep into suburbs, with all the drawbacks that has).

I think I could easily live out of London if I had a happy relationship - but it would have to be with a train to london available, and dooable in a day. Single? or a single mum - not for me, I've tried and it feels much more isolating than in London, as in small places it's ALL families, and all activities are abot families. No chance meeting a new man either. The eveingis for a single woman is the real killer out of London.

But if you have a good H to spend w/ends and eves with, and can join mum groups in the day, plus maybe develop hobbies or some work from home, it's doable and even better than the city potentially.

I mean doable for day visits.

Well done, Op, how did you do it? approached mums one by one, or suggested to the whole groups? good luck with finding friends, you sound very capable socially! I'm quite good at one-to-ones, but not so brave with established groups.

LBN I left N London too. I welled up just reading your post. I've got a night out soon to see old friends and I can't wait! I miss it but my life is undoubtedly easier in many little ways. Though I never see crack dealers either these days and had a couple on my old street