Selling my house and getting stressed

[TortillasAndChocolate]

I put my house on the market last weekend - I really don't want to sell. Brief backstory, ex left me beginning of last year. I'm now living in the house we bought together with our toddler. I work three days a week.

Basically I can't afford this house - after all my bills etc I have about 50 quid left over for shopping, petrol, everything. Obviously that's just ridiculous!

So I have reluctantly put house on market although have also advertised for a lodger on a website as another alternative.

Someone came to see my house earlier this week then made an offer 13k asking price. I said no, they then offered another 2k which I also refused. I had a voicemail from the estate agent last night asking me to call them as they had made another slight increase to their offer.

What do I do? I really don't want to accept anything under asking price at this stage as it hasn't been on the market long, I haven't seen anything I like and I want to get as much as I can for the house so I can afford to buy something else half decent. But is it reasonable to say, I won't accept any offers at the moment? I feel like the estate agent might think I'm being an idiot.

This is the first time I've sold a house and doing it on my own is stressing me out. I'm not sure what I can and can't do.

They've also said they want to move by Christmas. I haven't seen a single house I like so the thought of that terrifies me.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I think you're within your rights to tell your agent you will not consider offers that are less than (say) £2k off the asking price. Although making an offer is part of the traditional process of buying a house. Bit late now, but maybe you should have set the price higher to make space for the silly offers.

Any sign of a lodger yet? Would their rent make it possible for you to stay put?

And the fact the possible buyer who keeps making silly offers wants to move by Christmas is their problem, not yours!

Still a sellers market out there, stay cool OP.

Personally, I'd reject this new offer. A move by Christmas is do-able but will be stressful with a toddler.

Is the house in your name only?

In my mind, I always think that anything more than 5% off the asking price is cheeky (although that's assuming the asking price is reasonable in the first place).

You really need to find out how much you'll need to buy another home. And bear in mind that when the survey is done, buyers sometimes drop their offer.

Don't let your estate agent pressure you.

You're perfectly entitled to accept whatever you like.

But I'd give there offer some consideration - as in, if your house is on the market for hundreds if thousands, then just 13k below asking price is a decent offer really.

However if your house is up for sale for, say, 90k, then why is their offer so low? Is it presented well, does it need work doing, what else is available in that price range, and are you sure you've priced it right?

Are houses generally selling quickly in your area? Have you had any other interest?

their offer

I don't think you are in a position to bargain over a per Christmas moving date (if they are offering an increased price on that basis) because you don't know whether you house you buy will be in any chain or not, or whether your vendors want to move before Christmas. And as you say, you have 't found a house .

However, once you have an accepted offer on your house you are in a much stronger position to go ahead and buy, and beat someone she's price down!

And you need to consider how much each additional months mortgage costs you

Thanks for the replies. Yes the house is in my name only.

They are viewing the house for a second time today, and there is also another viewing today. There was supposed to be another second viewing yesterday but they cancelled as said they'd relooked at finances and couldn't afford to stretch to this house.

I've had a fair bit of interest in just under a week.

I think the house is priced correctly - compares well to other houses in the area - if anything it's on the low side.

So they can't realistically make moving by Xmas part of the conditions of their offer? I really had in my head I would be moving in the new year. But then maybe I shouldn't have put the house on the market at this time - I didn't really think that through. I don't think I envisaged having an offer so soon.

It really doesn't sound like you want to sell at all. Can you find a way of bringing in slightly more money - selling things on ebay, petsitting or babysitting or working more hours or something while you wait for a lodger? And what about advertising more aggressively for a lodger? If I were you I'd try to hang on to the house and hopefully in time your income will go up. Does your ex pay enough maintenance?

You could only agree to move out before Xmas if you are prepared to move into rented while you find somewhere. There are some potential advantages in that as it in effect makes you a cash or first time buyer, because you wouldn't have anything to sell, so are not bringing a chain, but you would need to be very careful that you would be able to get a new mortgage etc.

Of course if this weekend you see something you realy nat to buy, and they have no chain and are happy to be out by Xmas then you coud then be in a position to agree to move quickly. Buut until you are in that position, you don't know!

Have you talked with your mortgage co? About how much they will lend you if you transfer to a new property?

Have you looked at the actual costs of buying and selling on order to downsize? How much will the stamp duty be on the price of property you are thinking of buying?

I do agree, money on a mortgage you can't afford for a house that may be too big for you is a v bad use of money, being mostly interest in the mortgage company's pocket.

It sounds as if you have had quite a bit of interest, so after discussion with your EA, I would hold out.

We have typically paid about £10k or £5k less than asking price.

Buying and selling is stressful. Hold your nerve, make your decisions with a cool head, remember that you are paying your EA a shed load of ££ to act for YOU - not for the buyer, and get them to help you. (of course you can't know if they want a quick sale to look good on their commission sales for this quarter, or want to wait for max sale so that they make most money in the long run...)

it is entirely up to you- you are in the driving seat. if you have priced correctly then wait for the right offer. £13k is a lot of money- dont lose sight of that.

I was like you, though my reasons for moving are different. I was not totally sure if I was doing the right thing by selling, but knew if I don't, I will never find peace.

I totally freaked out when I received an offer on day one of putting on the market. "Thankfully" my buyer was in a rush to buy and pulled out as I had not find anything to buy at the time. Actually I regret that I did not buy the 1st house I viewed, I though "a better house will come along" but it never came.

Fast forward 6 months I am totally ready to sell now but my circumstances have changed slightly which makes the things slightly more complicated. I have my 3rd buyer and I cannot find anywhere to find. I am dying to move and am totally ready.

Once things start to go wrong, then you realize that everything happens at the right time for a reason.

Start looking - perhaps you will find something and would be dying to accept that offer.

Thanks everyone.

They offered a bit more - I spoke to the EA and said that I hadn't found anything I liked therefore was unlikely to be in a position to move by Xmas, and that given that I hadn't found anything and the house hasn't been on the market a week yet i wasn't really prepared to accept a below asking price offer at the present time. I'm not sure what the couple said to that, I assumed I would lose them, but I had a voicemail from EA at 6pm saying to call them as they had made another increased offer. Will phone tomorrow to see what the offer is....

Little crystal - glad it's not just me who can't be sure they're doing the right thing. I hope you find somewhere you love soon. I think I'm also finding it hard making all the decisions on my own as in the past I always had my ex to lean on and share decisions with. I can obviously do it on my own but it's just harder.

I think I'm going to set up some viewings tomorrow - there is nothing I'm keen on in the area but you never know, looking on the Internet is different to walking into a house so it's worth viewing a couple anyway if only to rule them out.

I also have another person viewing on Thursday! I'm calm tonight - I'm sure I'll be all over the place again tomorrow

Oh and I've seen a mortgage adviser and have a mortgage agreed in principle so I have some idea what I can afford. Obviously the more I can get for my house the better though.

A lot of people have shown interest in my room to rent but mostly men, and I really wouldn't feel comfortable with a strange man living here with me and DS - I'm sure they could be really nice but I would just prefer a female. It is an option, but it's still not ideal. It's just so bloody hard knowing the right thing to do!

What percentage of the asking price is the offer, and what part of the country are you in? Quite often your first offers are the best ones you get (speaks from experience!). The longer you hold out, the more you are paying in mortgage so you may find you actually pay more the longer you stay.

Definitely go and have a look at places. Photos can never give you a 'feel' for the place. good luck!

I would move and make a new home for you and your DS. If you stay having a lodger is less a choice and more a necessity which is likely to entail stress and change at regular intervals.

They might think they were being 'good' buyers by saying they wanted to move fast. For many vendors, this is a good thing, means the move will go through swiftly, all being well. As long as your EA explains the situation, that you'd need to find somewhere to buy and that might be in a chain so the moving time is out of your control, then they can factor that in to their plans. If they need to be out of their property by Christmas, they will have to rent somewhere in the interim. Some sellers might move into rented if they needed to sell more urgently than you do, but the buyer certainly can't make you get out of there by their deadline. If they did, you'd just pull out and they'd lose the house anyway.

Ok update is, I eventually got an asking price offer from them and accepted. Estate agent called the lined up viewers and cancelled them. But one said they would still like to view and may offer above asking price if they liked it. The estate agent suggested it wasn't a good idea so put on the spot I said no.

Now I'm thinking I made a mistake and should have been selfish and let them view in case I could end up with more money to put towards a new home. I thought I was making the better, more moral choice, but the more I think about it, the more I think I shouldn't put loyalty to strangers before what's best for me....

I'd say until any potential buyers have made a financial commitment to proceeding with the purchase of your house, i.e. paid out for a survey, then it is 'on the market'.

So yes I'd still accept viewers and would consider any better offers.

Well I'm still worrying about this! A couple of people I've spoken to say I should phone the estate agent back and see if those people still want to view. I have no idea what the right thing to do now is. It just makes me want to take it off the market altogether and have some breathing space. I don't like making these decisions by myself.

Buyers can walk away. What if their sale collapses? I would be letting others still view but let them know there is an offer in (polite not gazumping driven).